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Tony Zizza

It's Too Late For A Hilton Extreme Makeover
By Tony Zizza
Jun 12, 2007 - 8:16:35 AM

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Like too many of us, the Associated Press seems to be obsessed with Paris Hilton. Today's up to the minute "news" runs as follows: "Hilton Says She'll No Longer 'Act Dumb'".

There is just one itty bitty problem. That is, it's too late for Paris Hilton to fool us with an extreme makeover. Her whole life is one big act, and the act has grown both tiresome and ridiculous. She has the audacity to criticize the "media" for covering her courtroom hysterics, while at the same time, she uses the media for her own manipulative purposes. Misery loves company, huh?

It goes without saying that Paris Hilton has no real substantive character or moral compass. In fact, she changes her tune about as much as the infamous Teflon media personality, former President Bill Clinton. Nothing sticks. They change from day to day. Minute to minute. Second to second. Is either one of them capable of an independent moment of reflection that is genuine? I don't think so. We've simply seen too many extreme makeovers.

Paris Hilton, not to mention her enabling mother Kathy, appear to be caught up in a new spin thanks to Barbara Walters. We are all supposed to believe 26-year-old Paris is suddenly something of an adult because she says, "Now, I would like to make a difference...God has given me this new chance." Did Barbara advise Paris and her mother to rehearse this party line? It really doesn't get anymore lame than this.

Memo to Paris and her enablers within and without her own immediate family - no one cares if you want to volunteer in a hospital, or visit troops in Iraq, or adopt a child from Africa, what you need to do for the first time in your largely fake life is make a difference "inside" as it relates to character and morality. Be real. Telling the world you'll no longer act dumb doesn't mean anything.

I seriously doubt she fully understands the seriousness of driving on a suspended license. She did this twice, and thought that it's not a big deal. She broke the law, and we need laws to protect us against those who break the law. If jail time is not appropriate for driving on two separate occasions on a suspended license, what is? Are we to think anyone can keep driving on a suspended license and just get their wrists slapped and ankles monitored?

What really irks me about Paris Hilton is that she could have saved us all from this 24/7 fiasco if she would have just done her time from the get go. I mean, there must have been some kind of plan in mind once the whole world knows you are seeing a psychiatrist in your jail cell for two hours. Ask yourself why Paris Hilton even needs to see a psychiatrist. I thought she had an absolutely wonderful life? She pretty much does what she wants to do, and we follow the news. Pretty pathetic all around.

The most asinine thing here has to be the fact that she is spending her jail time in the medical ward portion of a detention center because she has an undisclosed medical condition. Come on, we all know her psychiatrist has labeled her with a mental disorder and she is most certainly on some kind of psych drug! She may even be on more than one psych drug. Again, there is a plan here and it undoubtedly gives "celebrity psychiatry" an even worse name than it already carries on its own.

We all know criminals somehow always find Jesus in jail. It's like the criminal actually believes Jesus was personally waiting for them, and the only reason why they state they found Jesus is to get a break in some aspect from their sentence. This is really part and parcel of the planned connection between Paris Hilton and psychiatry. If Paris Hilton is sincere in her desire to no longer act dumb, she would tell Dr. Charles Sophy to take a hike. She would get talk therapy if need be to become more like an adult rather than a spoiled child, but she would not hide behind subjective mental illness labels or designer psych drugs.

So, we don't have a brand new Paris Hilton here. Sorry. Not when she and her mother are spinning a new image via Barbara Walters. Not when she is still willing to be mentally labeled and drugged. She is simply living a lie by allowing the world to hopefully have sympathy for her continued bout with an undisclosed medical condition.

We would be "acting dumb" to watch or listen to anymore of it.

Tony Zizza is a free-lance writer who lives in Atlanta, GA. He writes frequently about popular culture and psychiatry. Reach him via email:

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