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Tom Ouellette

How the State Lost Business
By Tom Ouellette
Jan 9, 2004 - 5:54:00 PM

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Every Job
Down in Job-ville
Liked Business a lot...

But the State
Who lived outside of Job-ville,
Did NOT!

The State hated Business!
And all Entrepeneurs!
Now, please don't ask why, because no one's quite sure.
It could be they thought that no one should make money.
Or it could their thinking was... well, kind of funny.
But in Job-ville they said " They're such financial fools,
There's just too many taxes, regulations and rules!"
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
They thought the State's deficit was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason,
Whether fools or just snobs,
They drove away Business, while losing more Jobs,
Reaching out from Augusta with amazing precision,
They made bad economic and fiscal decisions.
Though they knew many Jobs down in Job-ville were lost
They continued their folly, no matter the cost.

For the cameras they preened and they postured and posed
While down there in Job-ville, another Business had closed.
And with all of their efforts, their conniving and striving,
They succeeded in keeping new Business from thriving.

Then they got an idea!
A stupid idea!

They spent some more money, took out a few loans,
And threw in some Pine Tree Developement Zones.
With their new 'Economic Recovery Plan',
They made NOTHING get better, as only they can

They campaigned with TV and radio spots,
So there'd be no Casino, Racino or Slots.
They said "Gambling's a sin! It cheats and it robs!
What's needed in Job-ville is the RIGHT kind of Jobs!"

They said Job-ville's future should be 'knowledge-based'.
Even as they continued their overspending and waste.
And though fiscally flying by the seat of their pants,
They handed out millions in entitlement grants.

They drove out the mills with their smokestacks so tall,
And manufacturing plants, some big and some small.
No more toothpicks or blankets or dress shirts or shoes.
And each day brought with it more bad Business news

Then the State looked at Job-ville and what did they see?
Not one single Job in their 'R' or their 'D'
No Jobs could be found, (and it gave the State fits)
That were long-term, high-paying, with full benefits

And what happened then...?
Well, in Job-ville they say
That the State's budget shortfall
Grew three sizes that day!
In a marathon session that lasted all night,
They spent until spending was way out of sight.
And they voted for all of their expensive endowments,
Not the least of which being their meal allowance!
But they had no remorse, made no solemn confession.
Then they...

Adjourned 'til the next session!

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Tom Ouellette
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