Shell-less and hiding from predators for nearly two months until a new shell is formed, growth for a lobster is risky business. Yet instinctively the lobster knows it must endure this process again and again to survive. Recent life changes have me feeling a lot like that lobster.

Personal growth happens in many ways. Mine frequently comes packaged as hurdles, challenges, or life lessons. Some reduce me to an emotional infant as vulnerable as that shell-less lobster; some arrive via new characters and an intriguing plot, yet recurring themes; and some leave me feeling somewhere between Jackson Browne's "how long have I been sleeping" and Samuel Butler's view that "life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes along."

These strip-off-the-outer-layer lessons push me to grow, causing me to wonder if growth is as painful for the lobster as it is for me. Today as I move my ailing mother into a skilled caretaking facility, I am struck by this type of painful growth.

It's the kind of growth my husband calls, "life happens." These unexpected, unwanted circumstances beyond our control change our lives. Tragedy, natural disasters, death, accidents, illness, divorce, job loss, awful bosses, relocating, and financial hardship are but a few of these life happens events. There's nothing we can do to change what was unwelcomingly thrust into our life. Eventually we decide to move past the event, growing as we do. Or we can remain stuck in anger and pain. I've had a few of both.

Yet not all growth is thrust upon us. There is the kind we choose. If personal growing is good, why not seek it? Working in whatever individual ways work for us, hearing the messages that seem to speak only to us, we can grow, develop, change, and evolve because we want to. But choosing to grow doesn't mean it's easy. It's still difficult to shed a shell, take off mask, or leave a comfort zone. And it can be frightening and painful when we do.

I can't say I always like this process of growing, nor the painful emotions and vulnerability I feel in its wake. But I'm amazed at the capacity I have to change and grow in life, especially when I decide it's time to move passed the past and embrace what I'm learning along the way.

While I may not like what triggers it, in the scheme of things, I'm thankful for continued growth. Who I am is a reflection of the growing I've done, whether pushed or by choice. I am stronger, a bit wiser, more loving, soul-centered, and tolerant as a result. This way of the lobster keeps me alive, in the deepest sense of the word.

(c) 2010 Nan S. Russell.  All Rights Reserved.

Nan S. Russell is the award-winning author of "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way." More about Nan and her work can be found at www.nanrussell.com. Author of "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; January 2008) Sign up to receive Nan's free monthly eColumn at: www.intheschemeofthings.com.