Scheme of Things
Pouring myself a bowl of soup from the buffet table, I noticed a teenage boy standing slightly behind a grandmotherly woman, eyeing the last piece of chocolate cake. After a contemplative pause, she reached for apple cobbler, and the teenager swooped in on his prize. Turned out they didn't want the same dessert after all.
Watching them piqued my curiosity. I started noticing each diner emerging from the buffet line, eyeing their tray for choices. There were similarities, but no two identical.
I came to the conclusion that life is like that buffet table. We desire different things from a large menu of options, yet we often act like we want the same ones. We project that others want what we do, and live our lives in competition, trying to achieve, acquire, or get what we believe everyone is after.
We're influenced by advertising, celebrity stories, and media hype transforming messages into desires or needs we never imagined we had. We confuse our wants with those others have for us, or ones we think we're suppose to have. We pressure others, assuming partners, family and friends should want what we do, imposing our thoughts, wants, wishes, and needs on them.
We search for meaning, purpose, or connection because we think we're supposed to find it out there, not create it. We imagine others know something we don't, so we follow their definitions and their paths.
It took me decades to uncover that what I thought I wanted, I didn't; what I believed successful people were suppose to have was empty for me once attained. The expected high wasn't. Still, I searched. It must be at the top of the next mountain, in the next goal attainment, or down the next path. I didn't know exactly what "it" was, but kept seeking it on the outside. Turns out, I should've been looking to the inside.
Our tastes, interests, gifts and circumstances influence our dreams and desires. But first, we need to define what they are; we need to know what we want from our life's journey. How can we create the life we seek, if it's undefined?
I've learned life's desires are as individual as buffet preferences. They should be. Our life isn't someone else's measurement for success, achievement or happiness. It's our own.
What I've discovered, in the scheme of things, is this: someone else's wants can't bring me happiness, contentment, or delight even if I get them. For real joy, we must individually hear and act on our own life's desires.
(c) 2011 Nan S. Russell. All Rights Reserved.
Nan S. Russell is the award-winning author of "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way." More about Nan and her work can be found at www.nanrussell.com. Author of "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; January 2008) Sign up to receive Nan's free monthly eColumn at: www.intheschemeofthings.com
© Copyright 2002-2011 by Magic City Morning Star
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Life Is Like A Buffet Table - Oct 7, 2011 - 2:48:46 PM
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