Scheme of Things
Life's Illusion
By Nan S. Russell
Jan 6, 2009 - 11:26:39 AM

Her words stopped me. I knew she was right and yet my illusion of a happily-ever after fairy tale life clung like a barnacle to my soul. Describing years of despair after being widowed as a young military wife with two children under four, this guest on my radio show described her life's evolution and decades-later conclusion this way, "None of us get a perfect life," she said.

That's true, none of us do. But still not all of us must deal with the tragedy of sudden loss, the distress of withering vitality, or the hopeless words of medical providers; not all of us must live with perpetual violence, starving children, or utmost poverty; not all of must face hatred, injustice, or inhumanity. Some of us do live with much heavier burdens on this planet.

Yet even for the most fortunate - there's no perfect life. We all face difficulties and challenges and hardships along the way. Illness. Divorce. Job Loss. Family drama. Side-tracked dreams. Financial woes. Arduous sacrifices. Difficult care giving. Shattered hopes. Natural disasters. Random ill-fated chance. You name it, it's out there. None of us can avoid heavy hearts, disillusioned ideals, or somber days (or years) from time to time. Life etches its scars either strengthening or depleting our spirits in its wake.

While I count myself among the most fortunate despite a few challenging squalls here and there, my heart turns to those who face an everyday life under grim circumstances, unimagined grief, or perpetual hardships. Their struggles make my own seem shallow, trivial, and insignificant because they are in the bigger scheme of things.

In Letter to My Daughter, Maya Angelou puts it beautifully, "The ship of my life may or may not be sailing on calm and amiable seas. The challenging days of my existence may or may not be bright and promising. Stormy or sunny days, glorious or lonely nights, I maintain an attitude of gratitude. If I insist on being pessimistic, there is always tomorrow. Today I am blessed."

Indeed, today I am blessed. And as I am so often reminded by life's harsh surprises, tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. So today is where I try to live. It's hard not to worry about the future and what tomorrow may bring. But if I let these thoughts grow  I'm squandering the time I do have on "what ifs" instead of enjoying "right nows."

In the scheme of things, it is an illusion that life can be perfect for any of us. Still in this month of my annual birthday reflection I realize this about my life:  it is a blessing to get older; a blessing to live in this country; a blessing to be alive in this era of possibility and hope renewed. While my life isn't perfect, I am humbled by its blessings.

(c) 2009 Nan S. Russell.  All Rights Reserved.

Nan S. Russell is the author of "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way." More about Nan and her work can be found at www.nanrussell.com. Author of "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; January 2008) Sign up to receive Nan's free monthly eColumn at: www.intheschemeofthings.com.