Occasionally challenged with balance issues after three knee surgeries, I'm fond of the Wii Fitness program. It lures me to improve my balance with multi-dimensional ball-in-hole puzzles, obstacle courses, and snowboard runs. So, I was looking forward to my Wii encounter after an extended absence due to business travel.

But alas, despite my best efforts on the balance games, the Wii persisted in rating me as "unbalanced." And while it's true I'm feeling a bit out of sorts these days, I decided the concept of being balanced eludes me.

I'm floating my avatar in a balloon down a lazy river, enjoying virtual sunshine and feeling pretty balanced, when unexpectedly bees attack, currents push me against the shore, and my protective balloon pops against the jagged cliffs. In order to fight back against the bees and the currents and not crash into the edge, I must shift my focus and adjust my balance.

My life is like that game. It doesn't evolve in equal, proportional pieces. When my life seems to be delightfully floating along in some state of "balance," something happens to shift my priorities, hurling me with tornado-like force to a particular aspect like family, work, health, finances or emotional well-being. Plus you never know when there's more lurking in the shadows: new priorities with different life stages, uncontrollable events, or emerging realities.

Still, there's more to this elusive balance concept than changing life-patterns and challenges. We also overlay our expectations and desires on others, wanting them to create balance for us. We complain that our employers don't enforce work-family balance, our government over-regulates or under-regulates the issues dear to us, or our time is devoured by others without regard to our personal well-being. We see a balanced life as an outside-in endeavor.

But real balance is an inside job, as unique as we are. What kind of individual composition we want, need, and seek in our life is like the children's tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The porridge is too hot or too cold, the chair is too big or too small, until Goldilocks finds the one that is "just right" for her. And that's the key. In finding our life's balance, what may be too much for you, may be too little for me and vice versa.

Like the Wii game, cues and consequences exist if I'm unbalanced for too long. If I pay attention to them, I know when an emotional, spiritual, physical, social, or mental shift is required to bring well-being and a sense of prosperity back into my life. Like the African proverb reminds us, "There are three things that a man must know to survive long in the world: what is too much for him, what is too little for him, and what is just right for him."

In the scheme of things, life may not be balanced at any given time. It shifts and morphs and so do we. I've found it's not one or two months or years that create a life-in-balance. Instead balance comes with that just-right-for-me harmony played over time.

(c) 2010 Nan S. Russell.  All Rights Reserved.

Nan S. Russell is the award-winning author of "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way." More about Nan and her work can be found at www.nanrussell.com. Author of "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; January 2008) Sign up to receive Nan's free monthly eColumn at: www.intheschemeofthings.com.