From Magic City Morning Star

R.P. BenDedek
Toxic Bosses and Chinese Friendship in Baotou
By R.P.BenDedek
Oct 12, 2009 - 8:45:06 AM

Regular readers of Magic City will already be aware of the troubles I have had with EET Baotou, but my family back in Australia with whom I have been out of contact for the last 2 weeks, were totally in the dark about what was happening in my life.

With internet now working in my apartment, I let my Brother and Sister know about the articles at Magic City. This evening I got a reply from my brother who must have read all the articles in succession, for he wrote:

  • Perhaps it's time to remind readers just how much you love the country and how much you enjoy the lifestyle and the people, and how much you dearly love to find a school that would treat you honestly so that you can get back to doing what you love most. (Just to remind them that you don't think they are ALL bad).

In fact of course, the majority of Chinese are a wonderful lot. I have made many 'real' friends over the years in China, and not all were my former students. Throughout this latest episode, I have been upheld and sustained by a number of wonderful local people here in Baotou.

Sun Limei, EET's first office manager has been a tower of strength to me. Mr. Wang who also worked briefly for EET also came to my aid by introducing me to my new employer, and having some dealings with the Foreign Affairs Office on my behalf.

Mr. Kang, my new employer also has shown great kindness by providing me with an apartment for the last 10 days, even though during this time it was not known if I could sign a contract with his school.

Two influential parents of students from EET have also shown me very great kindness and hospitality.

Finally I must say that I owe the lady in charge of the Foreign Affairs Office a heap of thanks for all her wonderful assistance, advice and information.

Today Sun Limei and I went to meet with that lady and spent 2 hours in discussions on many matters, some of which I am sure EET would rather I was ignorant. The most important thing of course was that she gave me the go-ahead to sign on with another employer.

I have in my time in China worked with some wonderful Chinese teachers and administrations who demonstrated their appreciation for the work we foreign teachers do. One school however treated everyone employed or studying there with utter disdain.

While for the most part employers are OK at the very least, one is always going to encounter toxic bosses.

Recently in the Australian press, there was an article entitled: Half of bosses are 'toxic' (Elizabeth Allen September 25, 2009)

  • MORE than half of bosses are so 'toxic' to their staff that their negativity harms productivity, according to new research

In response to that article I posted the following comment in the newspaper:

  • I've seen toxic bosses in Australia and in China where I now work, and the bottom line is never about conservative behaviour or any other such thing. It is about 'power'. Power tripping is an old expression, but it is a very real problem. Toxic bosses are those whose very first priority is 'themself'. Everything is about 'them'. Good ideas will be stolen from employees and claimed for themselves, and good ideas from staff who make the boss feel 'less than' will be quashed merely to punish the staff member. Commonsense does not prevail with a toxic boss. Come to China and see the 'power' issue at work in every workplace. Control, manipulation and power. That is what a toxic boss is about. (Posted by: R.P.BenDedek of Australian Residing in China 1:37pm September 26, 2009)

I wrote that comment the day before I decided to walk out on my Boss Dr. Sabrina Chui / Cui, and had her in mind when I wrote it.

Toxic bosses are not real business people. They put personal feelings ahead of business interest. The end result of that at EET has been that although the woman finally got rid of me, she did so without first making sure that it would be a smooth transition. (I had previously offered to end the contract by mutual agreement once a replacement arrived. They wouldn't hear of it!)

So now, while Dr. Sabrina Chui is in Canada doing who knows what, [hospital deals? Running?] her 'temporary' foreign teacher (seconded from another school judging by her working hours) has apparently disappeared, (according to parents), and still there is no other foreign teacher in sight, despite the previous assurance that 'Scott' (somebody) would arrive before the end of September.

The two most influential parents who sent a number of students to EET, now have children refusing to go to classes because I am not there. Oh Ve!

What a mess!

If you want to be nasty to a staff member and do everything to get rid of them (and go around telling people in advance that that is your plan), you had better be smart about it.

Anyway, despite everything; my lost September salary, the unpaid week of work before the contract started, the 20 and more hours per week of unpaid overtime I did for 8 weeks during July and August; I have gained something that money can't buy - 'friendship'.

There is a saying that "if you make a friend of a Chinaman you have a friend for life" - I know that this is not just a saying.

I have made some wonderful friends here, and being a wonderful friend I had to tell my friends kids that no matter how wonderful they think I am, that their job is to go to EET and study well under whatever teacher they are given. Learning is first about learning - not bias, favouritism or personal feelings about the teacher.

I came to China just to waste one year of my life in 2003, and I am still here. People are often surprised at that.  When they ask 'why?' I have to tell them the truth. I remain because I love the satisfaction I get when I do a good job and the students progress rapidly.  I enjoy their feelings of accomplishment and their new sense of self-worth.

I don't do it for the money. I don't do it to be altruistic. I am very selfish in why I remain teaching in China. I do it because it makes me feel alive, and no nasty toxic boss like Cui Lirong can change that.

Thank you once again to all my friends in Baotou.

R.P. BenDedek

Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com

A copy of my letter of complaint to David Gao EET Shanghai. (He never replies.)

See Also (May 12, 2010): Behind the Shanghai Expo.


R.P.BenDedek is the pseudonym of the Author of 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran' (http://www.kingscalendar.com/), and is a guest columnist at Magic City Morning Star News. An Australian, he is currently teaching Conversational English in Baotou, Inner Mongolia, China.

BenDedek Social Commentaries at Magic City

"The King's Calendar" is a chronological study of the historical books of the Bible (Kings and Chronicles), Josephus, Seder Olam Rabbah, and the (Essene) Damascus Document of The Dead Sea Scrolls.



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