(Photographs provided here are just spares from the next story about my fishing trip to Lake Baroon. Nothing at all to do with this story!)
I have written over the last few days of the progress of my relocation from Baotou in Inner Mongolia to Brisbane Australia, and in one of those articles, I mentioned that mobile phones are too technologically challenging for me. Today I just want to share with you some of the 'Murphy's Law' type of frustration I have suffered in relation to mobile phones.
I bought my first mobile phone in 2002 and only did so because I had planned a long road trip up the east coast of Queensland, and figured that it would be a prudent thing to ensure that I could contact 'emergency services' should the need arise.
I had a great trip and the phone came in very handy, although my kids complained that I didn't answer any of their text messages. It could text message? Go Figure!
In 2003 I moved to China, and the first thing I did of course was buy a 'SIM' card for my mobile; and the phone rejected that move outright. Back in OZ on holidays I went to the dealer who told me to call the service department where, having failed to unlock my phone using the appropriate command codes, sent me to someone who would physically unlock it so that I could use it in China. No Luck! I gave the mobile to my sister-in-law.
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| View of Glasshouse Mountains from Maleny. Lake Baroon Story Tomorrow |
In 2008 whilst living in Yancheng, I finally purchased a mobile phone. I bought it while on a trip to Suzhou, and it cost only 400 rmb. It was a nifty little thing and I loved it dearly.
Unfortunately in May 2009 it fell out of my pocket during a rickshaw ride and I didn't discover that fact for 24 hours. So once again - no mobile phone.
At that point in time I was being conned into going up to Inner Mongolia to work for EET Baotou. The boss told me not to replace my lost mobile phone for she would surely buy me a new phone. You know what they say: If it sounds too good to be true - then it probably is!
The phone she gave me was a piece of cheap junk that had no English in it and was only useful for making local calls. (In retrospect I can understand the reasoning behind providing a phone that would cut me off from the outside world.)
When they found that I couldn't work the phone, they bought another with some English in it, but when I quit EET Baotou by simply walking out of the office and moving out of my apartment during the middle of my shift, I made sure to leave that phone behind.
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| Scenery around the Landsborough Area. See Lake Baroon Story Tomorrow |
Then I purchased another phone and it has been bearable to use. Bearable simply means 'I can use it!' which is a Chinglish expression meaning I don't want or don't like something, but will put up with it!
I brought the phone with me to Australia, and as soon as I checked into my hotel (Chermside Motor Inn 644 Gympie Road Chermside), I set off for the nearest newsagency to buy an Australian SIM card. And that's when I fell foul of Murphy's Law and my own stupidity.
The shopkeeper ask: 'Which type of card would you like? The Telstra this or the other name that or the other cheap crap or......."
I said: 'Look, I don't care. I just arrived in the country and I need a SIM card so that I can use my phone and contact my family.'
With that he sold me a Telstra Start up pack for $30 which gave me $30 worth of calls. I removed my Chinese SIM card, inserted the TELSTRA card - and nothing happened.
'Give it a minute mate!' said the Shopkeeper. 'It has to register on the network yet! You receive a message shortly! Maybe you'd like to read the instruction manual while you wait?'
"No thanks!" I snorted: "She'll be right mate!"
A little while later I received messages asking me to 'save this' and 'save that' into my phone, and with that done, I tried to call family. Nope! It wouldn't let me. I went back to the hotel and tried again. Again nothing! Tried again but by this time I'm beginning to wonder if 'Your phone is not registered', meant more that 'give us some time mate!'
So I did what any Aussie male would do in a situation where nothing works - I read the instruction manual. Well it turns out that whereas in China you just buy a card, stick it in your phone, and 'Bob's your uncle!', in Australia you have to provide all sorts of personal information before you can get a telephone number. (and China is not a 'free' country?)
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| Glasshouse Mountains. Photograph taken when returning from Kayaking trip at Lake Baroon. |
According to the instruction manual, I could telephone TELSTRA or I could go to their Website and do what needed to be done. Unfortunately, the motel didn't provide landline connection to the internet, and as my computer is so old, it would not cooperate with whatever system it was that they had working in the motel for 'wireless' connection.
Too exhausted from all my travelling and the frustration, I decided to get a fresh start the following day (Sunday). I also decided to go see Avatar at the Mall. That was no easy task. I couldn't find the ticket office. I even asked the guy who collects tickets as you enter the cinema. 'Down at the service desk!' he told me. I couldn't find it! So I went back to the Motel and collapsed.
The next day - Sunday, I paid my $30 deposit to the Motel Manager to have the landline phone connected to my room and then made a call to Telstra. Naturally the service was automated and I sat and listened to all the choices that the 'voice' gave me. By the time it had finished, I couldn't remember which button was the appropriate one, and had to wait while the confused machine recited the instructions again.
I settled on 'Press One', and waited. Then it gave me more choices, and I made the appropriate choice. Then it told me that my call might be monitored for instructional purposes and that I should tell the operator if I didn't want the call monitored. Then it told me to listen to all the advertising that would play while waiting to be connected, and even reminded me that I could do this registering on the internet.
Eventually I heard the ringing tone again, and waited to speak to a real live person. Instead I got:
- 'We are currently undergoing maintenance on this service. Please call back in 24 hours.'
OK! What to do? The answer seemed plain. Forget about registering the phone until the next day, and just go to the movies. (I had discovered by then that the tickets are sold at the snack bar). I had seen that Avatar was on at the cinema in the local mall, so off I went.
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| Just coming into Maleny. Just Perfect! |
As I entered the mall I saw a Telstra shop. What luck! So I went in to see if they could help me, but was reminded yet again, that nothing is simple in my life.
I went to the service desk and stood beside another fellow who was waiting there. After about 5 minutes I asked him if the place had any service staff. He assured me that eventually someone would come and speak to me and then I would have to wait for the first available person to talk to. And that is just what happened. I waited and waited and waited. I had my name taken down and the nature of the problem, and then waited and waited some more.
Finally a lady comes to talk to me and after a brief discussion, we head off to their 'customer use' computers. This lady was really helpful navigating the system.
Finally she says: 'OK! Now we just need your address. Where do you live?'
'In Inner Mongolia China' I informed her.
'Oh! That won't do! Can you give me an Australian address?' she asked. So I gave her my sister's address. 'OK! Now what is her telephone number?'
'I don't know!' I reply. 'The number is in my computer!'
'Is there anyone else whose number you know?'
'I know my brother's number, but I don't know his address!'
The lady smiled one of those 'oh isn't it fun to be dealing with old people' smiles. Then she asked me where I was staying. So I told her. She asks if I know the address and telephone number. I assured her that I did. She types in the address and then I opened my mobile phone to show her the hotel telephone number.
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| Queensland style home halfway between Landsborough (8kms) and Maleny (7kms) |
The computer then informed us that they didn't match. Oh Crap! At that point I gave up and left to go to the movies. Much later I discovered that I had provided the telephone number for the Olympic Hotel in Beijing. That was a rather silly thing to do, but not as silly as both of us having failed to look up the Chermside Motor Inn telephone number in the phone book.
Next day, when Telstra services had been restored to normal, I phoned the company, went through all the automated service, and finally got connected to a wonderful chap - in the Philippines! Well, at least he got me connected! Problems solved. Or so I thought!
Not long after finishing my call to the Philippines, I discovered two things. The first was that I could now make calls, and the second was that my phone battery was critical. OK then! Before I start calling people, I will charge up the phone. Right? Wrong!
I'm using a Chinese phone in Australia, which means that the charger plug won't go into the power outlet. So it was off to buy an adapter. I went back to the shopping center, bought an adapter and put my phone on to charge.
At the mall I used the "public use" computers to send everyone an email listing my new telephone number.
Some hours later I discover that I had missed two telephone calls. I called the first number, and got one daughter's answering machine. I then called the next number, and got a lady's voice on the phone. Thinking it was my daughter, I put on a fake Indian voice and started to talk - AND SHE CUT ME OFF!
I then texted a message which said: 'Don't you recognise your father's voice? Maybe I should have spoken in Chinese'.
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| Maleny Pub |
Over the next 3 days, everyone I contacted insisted that they had never received such a call nor any such text message. Then I got an email from my brother asking why had I sent his Wife a message about not recognising her father's voice. Did I not know that her father had died the year before. Well at least the explanation gave everyone a good laugh.
So there I was in Brisbane for 48 hours with no way to contact anyone. Well actually that isn't quite true, for I had paid for the landline to my motel room to be connected, but no one answered their phones. At least that was understandable.
My sister had an operation the day before I arrived and my eldest daughter had had a 'C section' the day previous to that. Everyone was out visiting everyone else in the various hospitals and of course telephones must be switched off in the hospitals.
Between Murphy's Law, dreaded technology, and Telstra, I spent the first 2 days in Brisbane, incommunicado and judging by some of the emails I get from Magic City Readers, that is just the way they like me!
Best Wishes
R.P. BenDedek
Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com
R.P.BenDedek is the pseudonym of the Author of 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran' (www kingscalendar com), and is a guest columnist at Magic City Morning Star News. An Australian, he is currently teaching Conversational English in Baotou, Inner Mongolia, China.
Stories from China at Magic City
"The King's Calendar" is a chronological study of the historical books of the Bible (Kings and Chronicles), Josephus, Seder Olam Rabbah, and the (Essene) Damascus Document of The Dead Sea Scrolls.
