When I was at university studying Counseling, a lecturer one day asked my class if anyone would like to do a sanity test.

Mine was the only hand thrown up.  Everyone laughed because I was obviously and once again playing the clown. The lecturer asked me why I would want to do a sanity test.

I told him that as I am being constantly accused of being crazy and delusional, that it would be nice to find out, one way or another, if I actually am. He then asked me what I would do if the results showed that I was not in fact, sane. I told him that I would go and get some help.

Upon hearing this, the lecturer not only solemnly pronounced me 'sane', but added that he was not sure if he could say the same about the rest of the class.

Fun at Cherry Blossom Festival Wuhan

Leo Rosten in the Joys of Yiddish wrote that there is an old Jewish saying, that the difference between psychotics and neurotics is that while psychotics believe that 2 + 2 = 5 neurotics, although fully cognisant of the fact that 2 + 2 = 4, just simply can't stand it!

Personally, I think there are a lot of neurotics in the world.

When I read all the bad press Israel gets for it's Terrorism in Palestine, and compare it to the press coverage of the current situation in Lebanon, I can't help but think that the Media are neurotic.

When I receive emails criticising me for writing something reflecting a 'negative side' to my experiences in China, I can't help but wonder if those same people find it offensive when they read various accusations made in the press about the government of China.

After all, the government of China consists of Chinese people who (today) rise to power through the Chinese democratic electoral process.

Why should one consider that Chinese politicians do not share the same values and perceptions of the Chinese people.  Isn't that a rather neurotic perception? Or would that be psychotic?

Maybe I do need reminding at times.

Multiculturalism as a political dogma, is I think, also a neurotic phenomenon. Whilst it is just my personal opinion, having read a few articles recently concerning  Mark Steyn's book "America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It" http://www.regnery.com/books/americaalone.html I can't help but think that those who have criticised the man are also neurotic.

Opinionated Foreigner in Hong Hu.

I received another email recently in which yet another reader complained that I am 'opinionated'. That remark seems to me to also be a little neurotic. After all, how can one write one's opinion, without being opinionated?

Sitting on the throne of Judgement

The inherent characteristic of an article, is that it is one sided.Since the definition of 'opinion' is that it is 'A belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof', it remains that an opinion is nothing but an opinion, and everyone can disagree with it.

'Opinionated' on the other hand, according to one dictionary definition, means: "with very strong opinions that one refuses or is very unwilling to change; stubborn". Without correction, debate or dialogue, one's opinion is hardly likely to change.

The Italian translation of opinionated looks like the English word 'dogmatic'. From Greek, dogma refers to belief, and one definition of dogmatic is: "Characterized by an authoritative, arrogant assertion of unproved or unprovable principles".

It seems to me that if an assertion is unprovable by virtue of no contrary proofs, then one is entitled to their opinion. Of course an arrogant assertion about an unprovable assertion, relates not just to the assertion, but to both the character and manner of the one making the assertion.

Again, without demonstrable rebuttal, one is entitled to their opinion, whether stated arrogantly or not.

A New Finnish Friend in Shanghai - May 2007

Roses - an expression of Love.

At PuQi, Hubei (Chibi City) 3 Theologians from different backgrounds.

The question I ask myself is, 'Why, when an opinion article is by definition undebated, and particularly if the issue is demonstrably unprovable or unrebuttable, do people indulge in name calling those who publish their opinion?'

Does not the statement: 'You are opinionated!' simply mean: 'I refuse to accept your opinion and you are wrong to refuse to accept mine?'

When one living in a democratic environment understands that an opinion is an opinion, and that all are entitled to their opinions, is it not neurotic to rant and rail against the opinions of another? ("I know you have a right to your opinion - but I just can't Stand it!")

Recently I sent one email to five recipients, two of which did not respond. Two others responded with artfully crafted statements indicating their lack of interest in the email content, and one sent a strongly worded straightforward counter to the email content.

That particular email required and deserved an honest and heartfelt reply, to which I also attached an advance copy of a second email that I was planning to send to all five.

The person whose reply merited an immediate response, then sent another email demonstrating that the recipient intended to spend time considering the merits or otherwise of my reply. The two recipients who previously did not respond, again did not respond.

Catholic Elders in Chibi village near the 3 kingdoms museum - over the river from Hong Hu.

The two however who sent artfully crafted emails the first time, could not control their emotions long enough to compose emails similar to their first responses, and in doing so, showed what was below the surface of an otherwise pleasant and understanding demeanor, and in the process, revealed their true feelings/opinions.

In a free society, people are not only entitled to their opinions, and entitled to disagree with contrary opinions, but should not live in fear of doing so. In a totalitarian society however, society must accept the opinions of those who hold power.

From within that context therefore, it seems to me that charges of holding 'opinionated ideas' translates into nothing more than accusations of failing to submit to the prevailing attitudes of those in power, or perhaps more specifically, of those who want power.

In a politically correct world, (whilst I concede that certain words are best not used), the prevailing trend is to prevent and/or punish those whose 'opinions' do not reflect our own.

Xiangfan, Hubei, Feb 2007.

Paying respect to the Wise Ancestors in the hill above QinChuan, Hanyang, Wuhan.

Conditions are not always prisine but the game goes on.

It could be asserted that such people are 'emotionally abusive', for at every turn they not only deny the 'other person's' right to independent thinking and lifestyle, but their right to self determination and the right to maintain a healthy self image.

In short, the 'abuser's' whole focus is to render the 'other', dependent in all things upon the abuser's good graces.

In psychology, individual victims of emotional abuse need to extricate themselves from life's entanglements with their abusers, and to establish for themselves, their own emotionally healthy and independent lifestyle.

In society as a whole however, it is difficult to escape the ubiquitous emotional abusers whose sole purpose in life it seems, is to make you not just miserable, but dependent upon them.

Peace in the Countryside - Hengji

Shenzhen Beach - not as glorious as Surfers Paradise or Bribie Island Queensland

Recently a person in my family wrote and asked why was I continuing to live in China. It was suggested that my life in China is nothing more than a form of escapism from my previous life in Australia.

The observation would have had merit, had my intention to come to China been specifically related to my previous life at home.  In fact, I came merely to kill one year of my life while I got my website up and running, and I only did so under persuasion from the brother who was living and working there.

TV interview in Hong Hu with Friends.

It was not too long after my arrival in China however, that I discovered that I felt comfortable in this culture.  My first two years were in the countryside, and this brought back fond memories of my childhood.

As I began to make friends, I realised that they were in fact 'my' friends, not friends of a marriage partnership; something that is strained or lost with divorce.

Furthermore, I discovered that I really did enjoy not having to listen to all the politically correct BS that goes on in western society.

Additionally, seeing the state in which so many people lived, I gained a new perspective on all those things in my life, which I had previously thought to be so precious, or to which I had clung so tightly.

Last but not least, I discovered that I finally had a job that I loved.

Serenity, Synonymous with Sanity. Huang He Lou Wuhan

YiChang Hubei - Yangtze River on way to Three Gorges

The Village People in Hengji Hong Hu.

Some of my family are missing me; others could care less and still others are happy that I am happy. Life in the west is a very complicated thing; something from which I am grateful to be free.

I love my family and my friends in Australia, but no matter how badly it might upset some of them to hear it, I just have to say that at 54 years of age, I am finally grown up, have a life, and am happy.

We do not always agree with other people's opinions, but they do have a right to them. And if those people be loved ones, our disagreement does not mean that we stop loving them.

The important thing to make sure of in all of our disagreements with strangers, friends and family, is that we remain emotionally healthy.

I do have strong opinions about a lot of things, and I am not afraid to write about my opinions no matter what they are, especially my opinions about "my experiences" in China.

West Lake in HangZhou May 2007

Hongshan Temple area in Wuchang, Wuhan

As I recently wrote, since coming to SuZhou, I have discovered a whole new dimension to life in China, that may temper some formerly held opinions.

Whilst I do think that Current Western Culture is abusive, and while it may be true that my life as a westerner in China is a far easier one, I did not come to China to escape life in Australia. On the other hand, had I known what China was like a lot earlier, maybe I would have.

Maybe China is not yet a Utopia for either the Chinese or the Westerner, but if Mark Steyn is correct, it won't be long before it will definitely begin to look that way.

By accident or Intelligent Design, I find myself happily living and working in China, and, as a wise man once wrote: "Whatever your hands find to do,  do it with all of your might! I think that is good advice.

Then again, that's just my opinion! 

Be healthy, live long, and Prosper!

R.P.BenDedek

rpbendedek@hotmail.com

More Photos at: http://www.kingscalendar.com/cgi-bin/index.cgi?action=viewnews&id=549

R.P.BenDedek (pseudonym) is the Author of 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran (www.kingscalendar.com) and is a contributing columnist at Magic City Morning Star News. From Brisbane in Australia, BenDedek use to belong to a Multi-Faith and Multi-Ethnic family that included Christians and Muslims. He currently teaching Conversational Business English in SuZhou City, Jiangsu Province China.