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From Magic City Morning Star R.P. BenDedek
From memory, in the movie 'The King and I', Yul Brenner sings a line in which he says: 'I'm absolutely certain of the things of which I am not sure!' As I sat down to write this article I was thinking how best to open, and so started thinking about what my expectations were of China prior to coming here. That line from Yul Brenner's song immediately jumped into my mind. Growing up, we thought of the 'Orient' as an 'exotic' place. Did I think China was an 'exotic' place when I came here? I'm not sure! And of that I am quite certain! What does 'exotic' mean? Of that I am not sure either, but if it holds the connotation of things that are strange, then certainly China is an exotic place. Two nights ago, at 11pm, I was sitting in my little room updating articles for my website. My door was open, (to allow ventilation), and I could hear someone in the hallway jabbering away on their mobile phone. Then I heard a noise at my door, and looked up.
Standing in the doorway was a middle-aged Chinese woman, in pink flannel pajamas staring at me. I looked at her; she looked at me. Before I could say anything, she said: 'Oh! You are a foreigner!' I smiled, and thought that that would be the end of that. Was I wrong! Smiling at me, she stepped inside and proceeded to ask me all sorts of questions about myself. As I politely answered, she asked if she could sit down. Well - why not!
Nevertheless we had a good time talking, and all the while I was thinking, "I have a strange lady sitting in my apartment in the middle of the night, and she is only wearing pink flannel pajamas. Is this normal?' Well I guess it is! When I told my friend Sun Limei next day, she said nothing to indicate that there was something unusual about the situation. After all, my door WAS open. In China, leaving your door open is an automatic invitation for people to enter. I discovered that the hard way in Hong Hu. One hot summer's day, I had all the windows open, and the front door as well. My ground floor apartment was the furtherest point one could travel in the residential complex and I had no buildings opposite. So there I was sweltering away, and decided to duck into the shower and rinse off the sweat. I lived alone at that time so there was no reason to shut the bathroom door. I stepped into the water and turned around, and saw a boy walk across my living room. I turned the water off, grabbed a towel, and went to confront him. As I stepped into the living room wearing just a towel, I saw 3 women standing there admiring my lounge suite. I don't know what I had intended to say to that boy, but I when I saw 4 people in my apartment, 3 of them women, I was left speechless. It was later explained to me that in Chinese culture, an open door is open so people can come in. I was told that I had better keep my door closed. 'Blow that!' I thought. So I put a chain across the doorway to bar entrance. It worked!
I was slowly exploring alleyways when this lady started yelling at me. I looked up and she started shaking her palm at me, which I took to mean 'GO AWAY!'. She was yelling and shaking her hand very vigorously. Being new to China and not yet feeling quite secure, I hightailed it out of there real quick. I didn't want a crowd gathering. Maybe they would beat me for daring to travel into their restricted space. Lawrence, my teaching co-ordinator having asked me to show him the woman's hand actions, said that she was actually inviting me to go talk with her. Oh Well! We all make mistakes! The other week in class I was trying to encourage the students to talk, by asking me questions. They started with the usual: 'Do you like China?' 'Do you use Chopsticks?' Finally I told them to think more and ask more interesting questions. So a smartie pants 15 year old asks: 'Are you gay?' Well! I nearly fell off my chair. Was I offended? No! Was I shocked at the question? No! What threw me for a loop was the fact that as this boy asked the question, he was sitting there holding hands with the boy next to him. When the laughter generated by his question died down, I just looked at him and said: 'You are sitting there holding hands with a boy, and you ask ME if 'I' am gay! It took another student to explain my meaning before the whole class erupted again in laughter. But the best was yet to come. A minute or so later, a new boy in class, and quite an intelligent, studious and excellent English speaker, asked me a question. Well! I fell off my chair laughing. He asked: Do you have many girlfriends like me? So many ways of responding flashed through my mind, but I settled on: 'No! My other 2 girlfriends are women!' Then I had to explain the meaning of his question.
Linguistic mistakes can be hilarious, and often quite 'yellow'. 'Yellow' is a Chinese expression meaning 'dirty - pornographic' - blue'. Of course it is not just the students who make such mistakes. I was in a cafe with a Chinese friend and our mutual Philippino friend deciding what to order for lunch. The waitress appeared and Jerry (Chinese) began to order. Then Jhunex, attempting to use his limited knowledge of Chinese dishes, requested a particular dish. The waitress, Jerry and I all simultaneously burst out laughing. The dish is called 'La zi ji ding'. It is like a spicy chicken dish. Unfortunately Zhunex got it wrong and ordered 'La Jiji'. 'La' is chili or spicy, and 'Jiji' is the male appendage. The visual imagery of his request was hilarious. I had a similar experience in class once when a student, who intended to ask: 'Can I bring my COKE into class and drink it' - mispronounced COKE. I had to wave him through because I was laughing too much to answer. I have made similar mistakes myself. In English, there is a world of difference between saying 'Cigarette lighter' and 'Masturbate', but in Chinese the difference is not that great. You can imagine the look on the shopkeeper's face when I asked for the wrong thing! Of course not everything one says incorrectly is 'yellow'. Recently here in Baotou I was teaching a class of youngsters. I wrote up five questions on the blackboard, and then - in Chinese - asked a student: 'Zhege juzi shuo shenme?' What I thought I was saying was: 'What does this sentence say?' But the kid looked at me blankly and for some reason couldn't talk. So I turned to another and asked again. Again the same blank response. I turned to a third student and asked again, at which point the boy right in front of me spun around in his seat and in Chinese screamed: 'Don't be stupid! He means 'Sentence' not 'Orange'." One 'juzi' is a sentence, and another 'juzi' is an orange. It's all in the way you pronounce the word. Well at least I won't be going out again to buy sentences from the fruit shop. While we foreigners might think life in China is often exotic and strange, just stop for a moment and imagine what the Chinese must think of us.
When I was in Yancheng, I was out walking one day, when I saw a public toilet block in a side street. As I approached the entrance to pay my fee - 5 jiao or half of one yuan (like 50 cents to $1), there was no one to be seen outside. I entered, had a tinkle (you know what tinkle means? - wizz), and exited. It took less than a minute. While doing my business, I could hear the commotion outside. People were talking about the 'foreigner'. Upon exiting, there were a dozen people gathered around waiting to get a look at me. I looked at them and said: 'What! You think foreigners don't need to use a toilet?' I remember one night in Yancheng, I was on my way to dance class, when I passed a group of youths. One of the girls said: 'Look! A foreigner! Oh he is so handsome!' I turned toward her and said: 'You think I am handsome? Thank you!' She screamed and ran! I do have that effect on people. They take one look at me, scream and run. A police officer or soldier (not sure), did that once in Beijing. I stepped in front of him to ask for directions and he screamed and ran straight onto the roadway. How he didn't get killed is anyone's guess. He was terrified of me! AND HE WAS WEARING A GUN! Yep! It is certainly an exotic life in China, although you might have to redefine 'exotic'. Hope you have enjoyed these little snippets of my life. If you would like to read up on Mongolian Yurts go to: http://www.safecom.org.au/yurts.htm R.P. BenDedek Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com
Stories from China at Magic City "The King's Calendar" is a chronological study of the historical books of the Bible (Kings and Chronicles), Josephus, Seder Olam Rabbah, and the (Essene) Damascus Document of The Dead Sea Scrolls © Copyright 2002-2008 by Magic City Morning Star |
