Clowning around in Ramadan

Every time I write about my life in China, I get at least one person who writes me a self righteously Politically Correct accusative objection to my politically incorrect language, which they classify as demonstrating racist attitudes.

It never ceases to amaze me that people who have absolutely no objection to making accusations against me, a person that they don't know, should be upset when I write about my actual experiences with people I do know.

I think it must be that they consider themselves so superior to the Chinese that they need to defend them against western oppression. After all, the superior defends the oppressed and defenseless inferior - n'est-ce-pas?

So if you find this article objectionable, don't hesitate to write me, and don't worry about being polite either. Not only is life a little boring at the moment, but the frustrations I am currently going through are looking for a way to vent, and as those who write me letters using bad language have discovered, I believe that if it is good for the goose, then it is definitely good for the gander.

Neighbours watching my TV

Now speaking of bad language, I am currently learning quite a lot of Chinese bad language of late.

You see, whereas for the past 18 months I have lived without neighbours on this floor of my building, this semester brought with it so very many boys to this university, that the administration decided to fill the 3 rooms on either side of mine with a total of thirty-six 2nd year male students, and my home has turned into a virtual drop-in center.

Boys being boys in any culture, they use quite a lot of bad language, and I, being denied the opportunity to study Chinese formally (that's a story on its own), take every opportunity to listen and learn.

And so it was that the other week in one of my classes a male student that I had just addressed decided, as he retook his seat, to swear at me in Chinese. The object of such a thing is not to actually 'offend' me, because I presumably don't know what he is saying. The object is to make the class laugh and make me look like a fool in front of them. Well! Did he get a surprise. His words were no sooner out of his mouth when my 'zhang hua' (bad language) flew out of mine. He nearly fainted! And the class just cracked up laughing!

It's not the first time, of course, that students have used bad language at me, but usually they say it with a smile, thus (they think) concealing their nastiness. I used to pretend that I didn't understand. It was not until one day that one of the students approached me in front of a whole group of students outside the classroom, and with a big smile and a nod of his head said: 'Hello you *&&^$$'. I screamed bad language at the top of my voice, and he simply ran for his life.

Temple in Hong Hu by the Yangtse River

Naturally some of you want to tell me that it is inappropriate to do this, so let me explain some of my reasons for doing it. I wrote an article some time ago in response to an email I got, and I entitled it: The Arrogant and Pompous R.P. BenDedek. A web blog picked up on it, and quite a number of current or former foreign teachers slammed me for my statements, saying things like: 'I've never had a Chinese person be nasty to me!' or 'I've never heard a Chinese Student saying anything unkind about America!'.

Side River at the Loch to the Yangtse River Hong Hu

Now, I know that they are telling the truth, but the reason why they have not encountered it has nothing to do with whether or not such things occur.

Lacking Chinese language skills, and being blinded to reality by their great contributions to China, or else by virtue of having kept themselves at an emotional distance from their students, they have never learned to communicate with their students on a very personal one-to-one basis.

I remember an Evangelical Nigerian couple who, having failed to inform their new school that they were both fluent in Chinese, found themselves unable to eat in the school Dining Hall because of all that they heard said about them.

I could take this opportunity to tell you how fantastic I am, and what I do to get myself accepted by the Chinese as a trusted person, but in fact, I don't know why it happens. I only know that it does. Perhaps it is because I am all things to all people, and am always just myself. I'm never politically correct, and will give my honest opinion if it is asked for. This of course does not always win me immediate brownie points, as one student reminded me last week.

Another Temple by the River in Hong Hu

He told me not to become too discouraged over recent events in the classroom because many many students really love me and appreciate that I do really care about them. He told me that he has heard many students say that they did not like me at first, but as time has passed, have realised that I do care about them, and that I always have their best interest at heart.

I know this type of thing happens, because I remember the time three girls came to me and apologised for 'hating me'. I was a little taken aback, but it appears that they did not like foreigners, and even before I commenced classes, they had decided that I was just another stupid foreigner. But in order to get good grades, they persisted with my classes, and finally realised how much progress that they had made, and realised that their original feelings were unjustified.

You think I'm boasting here, don't you? I'm not! I'm trying to point out that many foreign teachers have absolutely 'no idea' how or what their students really think. You have to remember that 'Chinese are very friendly people!', and most dutiful citizens try to impress foreigners with how great both China and it's people are. Is the same true in America?

Just as an aside, the other day, because I had basically given up on a class, I made them spend one lesson talking to each other about what they had learned in their two semesters with me. In the second period, each student had to individually explain their thoughts to me. One boy said:

"So many students do not come to class. You know why? Because you are a man and you are ugly and you don't teach us in Chinese. You should learn Chinese!"

My students have the freedom in my class to speak honestly. I tell them that I prefer the truth to false politeness. I tell all classes that it is not my job to be their friend, and their purpose in class is neither to be friendly or unfriendly. I'm not there for friendship. Whatever their feelings toward me personally, or for foreigners generally, their purpose in class is to learn, improve, and get the best grades they can in their exams. Their future depends on their university results.

Chibi City - formerly PuQi in Hubei

But when it comes to the attitudes that students display in class, the only attitude that actually offends me is the one I currently see from most of my students - apathy! You see, most of the students at this university are here because they did not get good enough grades to go to their first or second choice universities. Additionally, finding themselves here, they are limited in choosing their 'subject major'.

The other week, I surveyed all classes. I found one class in which 90% of the students were interested in their chosen Major. I found two classes in which 50% of students were interested in their major. But of the other eight classes (2 lessons per week), less than 20% were interested in their major. When you combine that with those who did not want to come to this university in the first place, you have a significant problem.

Interestingly enough, I did not need to do a survey to know these results, but the exercise was done to show the students themselves, what is wrong with their class. You see, they always complain that everything is boring, but no matter what 'suggestions' I follow, they are still bored. Take this for example. One boy told me that I should just allow the students to just discuss their daily lives. I showed great excitement at this suggestion, thanked him, and suggested that he be the first.

He stood there for 30 seconds before declaring: 'This is a boring topic! You should give us an interesting topic!'. Enough said! It doesn't matter what they themselves suggest, they find it too boring. Or what about the student on Friday who gave me some worthwhile advice. She said: "You should let us watch movies, or video clips or cartoons." Since we have a TV and VCR player in the room, I informed her that I would be happy to do this, and that all she needed to do was get the videos and operate the system for me. She suddenly lost interest.

Countryside in Chibi

After I did the survey in each class, I wrote the results on the blackboard and told them that the reason that class is boring is that they don't actually want to be there. (Nodding of heads!) I told them that the reason they were bored was because they are apathetic. They have no interest in or emotional connection to their university studies.

What can you do in a situation like this? ESL teachers in China have a set program and a National teacher in the classroom to act as translators and facilitators. But the rest of us are left to our own devices. It is common to hear foreign teachers relate that they were told to 'sing songs and play games' in class. Up until last Friday I have always told students that I refuse to do this.

I am employed for 18 classes per week, but do 22 classes. For the extra classes I earn extra money. My Friday classes have seen less than 50% of the students in class, and of the rest, 80% are apathetic. I suggested to the school that these classes be canceled. The students would be happy; I would have an extra day off; and the school could save money! Unfortunately, that is not the Chinese way. Someone got to the students, and the following Friday they all turned up for class.

I apologized to them all and explained that I had not meant to force them to come to class, only to get the class canceled. I informed them that an important teacher had told me to say nothing when students don't come to class, and not to care about them. I underlined "say nothing". I told them that I would follow this advice. At the break, most of the students went home. (Nice to know that they understand subtlety!)

Heng Ji boys fishing in the village

Now of course, I've only been speaking about my time in class. There is more to my life than that, and my new neighbours have certainly livened my life considerably. The boys who live on this floor are not now nor have they ever been my students, and had no idea that I could understand some reasonable percentage of their conversations. I let this situation continue for some weeks before speaking to them in Chinese.

If I thought they had been friendly before, they were positively overwhelmingly friendly once they knew that they could talk to me in Chinese. It is great fun, expecially when I don't understand. They struggle and struggle first in Chinese, and then in English to explain things to me. There were however a couple of boys who demonstrated some good English language potential, and as time has gone by, have become more and more at ease in speaking the language. It is really difficult for Chinese students to understand that after their first year of English studies they already had sufficient knowledge to commence talking with foreigners. All they have to do is try. While many of my students will not try, these neighbours of mine are becoming more and more comfortable with using their poor English.

Meeting with visitors.

In the beginning, boys use to congregate at my kitchen window to talk to me. One day I asked a boy if he wanted to come in. I opened the door for him, and he stood in the kitchen talking with me. As time passed, more and more boys entered, and before long I had a house full of them. Then I heard the TV going. I went into the bedroom to find six boys laying across my bed watching TV. I had quite forgotten that in China, an open door means 'Come in! Make yourself at home!'

Eventually I told the boys that when it was convenient for me to have visitors, I would open my door and leave it open. If I don't open the door, it means I don't want visitors! Sometimes I will have conversations through the kitchen window. They are short conversations however, because the boys know that since I leave the door closed, I am probably tired or busy.

Just a few of the boys

The other night I opened the door, and went and sat at my computer. At one point I got up to go make a cup of coffee. As I entered the kitchen, I saw a pile of sandals in the doorway. I turned and went to the bedroom. How I wished that I had some new batteries for my camera. My queen sized bed had eleven boys in it, all watching TV.

Now how do you fit eleven boys into one bed, you ask Well firstly, you can only fit that many in if they are Asian. You see, Asians are very tactile people, not the least bit 'uptight' like Westerners. One night I was at the top end of the bed. I had one boy unconsciously playing with my feet; one rubbing his hand on my shin; another leaning across my legs; one resting his head on my right shoulder; one holding my left hand while another to his left stretched his arm out to rest his hand on my shoulder. That's how they all fit in the bed.

This is more like it. It looks like 8 but there are 10 students.

Boys lay across each other, resting on each other's shoulders, derriers, chests, backs and legs. The only real problem with having so many boys in the bed is that, being Chinese, they constantly talk through every English or Chinese movie or music clip being viewed. It sometimes drives me crazy. Of course, boys being boys in any culture, there is often a need to open a window or turn on a fan to freshen the room as they compete to see who can pass the worst wind.

For me, the best part of being in bed with the boys watching TV, is that I now do easily something that at other times is very difficult for me to do - 'fall asleep with ease'. People often ask me if I am lonely living in China on my own. It's hard for them to understand that I don't usually feel lonely because, firstly, I am an introvert; and secondly, I am in constant contact with my family back home. But right now, I definitely don't feel lonely, and if I do all I have to do is open up my door.

They say that in life there is no blessing without a curse, and I guess that that sums up my life at the moment. While wishing I could spend less time with my assigned students, I wish I had more time to spend with my neighbours.

To finish this article, I include copies of emails I have received, the first of which came from a Student who comes to a class that is not even his own.

Breaking the Ramadan Fast with Friends

No. 1 Email:

today you said that you don't want to teach any classes in this school. you kow, i could understand your feeling, about years ago, i once had been a teacher for several days. the students pay no attention to what i said, but they ask me to lessons which they want to learn. now just like you know, many people don't care about their major, they just want that paper -------- diploma.

someone said: do as you would be done by. we all felt dampen when somebody hurt our heart like this kind of way. so in this time, we need encouragement. someday, if you are not here, what about that students who always want to hear your voice and meet you?

teacher is not a simple job and it's so hard for us which need man put our mind to it.

so, for that students who really want to study english and their purpose of study which is learn something more. we should go on, right? life just like a cup of chinese tea, we don't know what we'll going taste.

i really hope you can keep teaching by your heart (of course you do all the time), we are expecting the better things!

with best wishes !

D.C.

Real Authentic Italian Spaghetti

No. 2 Email

I have just found your articles while looking for the website to a donkey meat restaurant in Tianjin. I had lived in Tianjin for 3 years and frequently return to visit my girlfriend in a town near Shenzhen where she owns a restaurant. I enjoy the articles because it brings back the memories of my time there. Frustrating at times, but strangely enjoyable. Keep up the good work. Regards. Mike Austin, TX.

ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS:

On the Main Road to Hong Hu

A view of Xian Tao between Hong Hu and Wuhan

Farmers in Heng Ji Village, WuGou, Hong Hu.

Unnamed village Hong Hu - taken by American Born Chinese Judy Hu

Near Jianshi in Hong Hu

View of Xian Tao

Xian Tao

R.P.Bendedek

Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com

R.P.BenDedek is the pseudonym of the Author of 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran' (www.kingscalendar.com), and is a guest columnist at Magic City Morning Star News. An Australian, he currently teaches Conversational English in China.

Photographic Stories from China can be found at:  http://www.kingscalendar.com/cgi-bin/index.cgi?action=viewnews&id=128

"The King's Calendar" is a chronological study of the historical books of the Bible (Kings and Chronicles), Josephus, Seder Olam Rabbah, and the (Essene) Damascus Document of The Dead Sea Scrolls.