R.P. BenDedek
Homosexuality in Sex Education
By R.P. BenDedek
Mar 5, 2005 - 11:32:00 PM

I have stated previously that I like to read the Reverend Swank's articles, and to think about them, so I hope that no one thinks that I am journalistically stalking him so to speak. I've just finished reading his article: "Homo Ok. Condoms on Cukes. School Sex Ed," and thought (in the Australian vernacular) that I would "put in my two bobs worth."

Brothers not Lovers

When I came to China I was amazed at how "gay" everyone seemed. In fact, one day I said to my brother, "How did China get so overpopulated when everyone seems to be gay?"

Now, according to the dictionary, the word I am now going to use is wrong, but I don't know what the correct word is. The Chinese are "homophiles."

Now, apparently that means that they are - or they love homosexuals; but as I use it, translating from the Greek, "homo" meaning 'another of the same kind and "filio" to mean "brotherly love," to mean "loving people of the same gender."

The Chinese "love" others of the same gender, and this is not a sexual love, but a truly "brotherly love." Men hold hands with men, and women hold hands with women. They are very tactile in their affection, and it is nothing to see people of the same gender laying or sitting in each other's laps, even in a classroom of high school students.

The Chinese are very uninhibited in their expressions of love and caring for each (same gendered) other. Even this old coot has had to sit in a bus holding hands with a man sitting in the seat across the aisle, and one day during summer camp, I had to walk a very long distance with a male teacher holding my hand. That was the day I discovered that he had finally dropped the wall between us, and that he was showing me that he truly considers me to be his friend.

A common sight in class

One day as I was standing outside of my classroom (smoking), one of the boys who was entering the classroom blew me a kiss.

I called him back and asked him what he had just done. He repeated the gesture, so I asked him if he knew what it meant. "Yes," he said. "I was blowing you a kiss!"

"OoooK," I said. "Why?"

"Because I love you," was his reply.

"OooooK. Why?"

"You are such a good teacher, and you are always so helpful, and my English is getting better and better. I am so glad you are our teacher. I love you!"

"OooooK. That's all. You can go in now!" I mean to say, "What can you say to that?"

Some teachers advised me that it was really Chinglish for "I like you," but a couple of times I did pull students up and tell them that they did not really mean that they "LOVE" me, but that they "LIKE" me, and was surprised to hear them correct me, to say, "No, we truly love you!"

Now as I've said, they are very tactile in their love for each other, and I can't help but wonder if the lack of same is what ultimately leads a significant number of young men into homosexuality. I can just hear the uproar, but in fact, apart from studying homosexuality in psychology classes, I actually joined a group that was formed to assist "religious parents" cope with the coming out of their gay children. In that cause, I endured countless lectures from professionals of all types, including psychologists.

So before the vocal minority decides to lynch me, let me just say that I am (or at least was) well read and was frequently lectured on the subject of homosexuality, and the most plausible understanding of why MOST people "become gay" is what is called "the path of least resistance." Effectively, it means it is a step by step process of life event seductions.

We all know that if something is pleasurable, then we are likely to have a second go at it. A person who, on the occasion of some homosexual experience, discovers that it was pleasurable is likely to repeat the experience. By the same token, from my discussions with homosexuals, I also know that for some it was a case of always having known that they sexually desired members of their own gender. One thing that is a constant however, is that all the gay men I have spoken to have said that it is not a path that they would have deliberately chosen.

With this in mind, I find it strange that education departments want to "potentially" encourage young people to embark on a lifestyle which, by the admission of many in it, is not one that they would have deliberately chosen. I would also point out that statistically only ten percent of homosexuals are "identifiably" homosexual.

Now of course, from the perspective of many people, homosexuality is immorality and a threat to the status quo of the social order. Interestingly enough, Communist China, for all that it is seen as a godless nation, is nevertheless very moralistic. My readers may recall the article in which I wrote that a group of 16 and 17 year old boys wanted me to tell them about masturbation. I opted for the: "As a foreigner, I am not permitted to talk about such things," but it shocked me that, not only did they know nothing about it, but admitted that they had never "touched" themselves before.

Such a moralistic upbringing, with marriage ages set at 20 and 22 for females and males respectively, and with heavy censorship in regards to sexual content in films and on television, a ban on pornography, and blocking servers that may carry it, certainly makes Chinese society much less promiscuous.

As for homosexuality, while it does exist, and no longer carries a criminal penalty for the sexual act itself (although there are other charges that can apply), it can easily hide itself within the culture that does exist, IF one were to somehow discover another with the same disposition. Of course, it would be a risky venture to come onto someone if you were not absolutely sure about their preferences.

Homosexuality has always existed and will always do so, but my opinion is that the real problem in society is that while people are always prepared to turn a blind eye to it, in this "we have rights" environment in which we live, we are being forced to accept that which is traditionally unacceptable; elsewise, why the brouhaha about gay marriages?

Frankly, since the decent and/or religious people in society have permitted the situation to get this far without objection, I fail to see why anyone should object to gay marriage. It is hypocritical to suddenly stand up and object when, for decades, general society has not impeded the gay rights march to freedom.

Having said all of the previous however, I now want to turn the spotlight on the religious.

I have heard many sermons over the years from Christian evangelists on the subject of homosexuality and, generally speaking, their theme is either, "We must save the world from itself," or, "We must condemn homosexuality." However, if you read in full context the verses that they quote, verses such as Romans 1:26-32; Matthew 15:19; Galations 5:19; and 1 Timothy 1:9, you will discover that these verses concern themselves with much more than homo- and heterosexual immorality.

I remember sitting through one such sermon in my wife's church, listening to the pastor rave on and on, and on, and on; and not once did he address the issue of homosexuality IN THE CHURCH, which after all, is the target audience of these scriptures. The New Testament writers were writing to believers NOT TO DO THESE THINGS.

But more than this, that pastor did not continue to read on nor did he condemn those people in his church, who practiced the other sins for which the same penalty exists as that which exists for homosexuality.

What are these sins? Let's look.

Romans, Chapter 1: They are filled with every kind of unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, malice, envy, murder (literal and metaphorically), strife, deceit, hostility, are gossips, slanderers, insolent, arrogant, boastful, contrivers of all sorts of evil, disobedient to parents, senseless, covenant-breakers, heartless, ruthless. 1:32: Although they fully know God�s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but also approve of those who practice them.

Matthew 15:19: For out of the heart come evil ideas, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander ...

Galatians 5: ... idolatry, sorcery, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish rivalries, dissensions, factions, envying, and similar things. Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God!

1 Timothy 1:9: ... liars, perjurers - any who live contrary to sound teaching.

Yes, maybe the Bible does condemn the homosexual, but there are surely a lot of Bible believing Christians who are going to cop the same punishment.

Now speaking of punishment, there is one thing that I have never quite understood when it comes to all this condemning of the "unsaved." The unsaved are, by definition, those who are going to hell because they have not accepted Jesus Christ as Saviour. If this is so, then it really doesn't matter what they do with their lives, does it? After all, the unsaved homosexual is going to go to hell as surely as the unsaved Mr. Nice Guy who has sex only with his wife and has never lied or stolen anything.

And as for "homosexuality is an abomination unto the lord" (my sister in laws favourite saying), how does the homosexual suffer more in eternal hell fire than the unsaved Mr. Nice Guy?

Maybe the real answer to the general societal problem of homosexuality (to mention just one problem) is for Bible believers to actually BELIEVE, and to have that repository of God within them, LOVINGLY shine, so that people will see God, AND WANT TO CHANGE.

Of course, this is just my opinion.

R.P.Bendedek

Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com

R.P.BenDedek is the pseudonym of the Author of 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran' (www.kingscalendar.com), and is a guest columnist at Magic City Morning Star News. An Australian, he currently teaches Conversational English in China. King's Calendar Social Commentaries

"The King's Calendar" is a chronological study of the historical books of the Bible (Kings and Chronicles), Josephus, Seder Olam Rabbah, and the (Essene) Damascus Document of The Dead Sea Scrolls.