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From Magic City Morning Star R.P. BenDedek
Does 'I like Homos!' mean you are gay or just like Middle Eastern Food? How many different types of Homos are there? Is Erectile dysfunction the opposite of Homo Erectus? Is it Homos or Hamas that run Gaza? Are Homosexuals people who have sex with men? Is my sister a homosexual? Do we even want to know what a Homo Erectus is or does? These are some of the important questions that one finds oneself thinking about, when one is completely bored out of one's mind on a Sunday morning when one should actually be marking a couple of hundred English essay papers, but is looking for some excuse not to do so! But 'why is it' you ask, 'that one is thinking about 'Homos' at all? Well I will tell you! Yesterday I was reading an article in the couriermail online newspaper entitled: Melbourne Catholic Church Embraces Testing to ID Gay Priests
I thought that this was rather interesting, and wondered if they might then start testing candidates for heterosexuality as well. Don't want those potentially dirty old men having sex with women now, do we? They should be testing people for inclinations toward celibacy! On that subject, let me tell you about a conversation that I had with one boy in February, and then again with another the other day. Both boys told me that they wanted to have sex so that they could know what the feeling was like. I told each of them that it is the same feeling as when you 'play with yourself' except that it is far better. Both informed me that they had never played with themselves. One was 18 and the other 20 years of age. I ought not to have been stunned, but I was. When I asked how come they had never 'touched themselves', both replied that it was no use because their 'equipment' (for want of an equally inoffensive word), 'didn't work'. They had tried to do it, but 'nothing happened'. That expression 'nothing happened' got me to thinking about the time one of my male students came to me for advice on masturbation. He asked me if I could teach him how to do it. I told him that if he needed to ask then he didn't need to do it, and that if he needed to do it, then he didn't need to ask. At the time, I thought it a stupid question, but now I am not so sure. When you live in a society that constantly teaches you that to 'touch yourself' is dirty or harmful, is it any wonder that a boy can get to that age without successfully completing the task. For a short time I had a boarder who had so well learned the teaching on 'not touching yourself', that he literally did not 'hold his member' when he emptied his bladder first thing in the morning. The result everyday was that urine was to be found within a 2 metre radius of the toilet. Because he had also learned so well, what is and is not 'woman's work', he also did not bother to hose off the offending mess - an easy task in a Chinese bathroom. When one understands this type of mentality, 'it's woman's work', one can only despair for the guys future wife, and given the gender imbalance in China, every married man had better watch out because he is a sitting duck when it comes to single men looking for someone else's mate to marry. I don't know what it was that I was reading the other day about marriage and divorce, but I remember reading a comment to the effect that the ubiquitous 'WE' should leave marriage to the gays, and just sit back and see what misery comes their way when their loving partners start splitting with half of their assets. I can't provide a reference to it offhand, but in addition to reading about the climbing divorce rate in China these days, I remember reading that many Chinese 'highflyers' are being dumped by their spouses (or should that be 'spice'?) during the current financial crisis, because given that money is the spice of life, the 'Spice' (spouses) are deciding to get out of their marriages while there are still assets to split. From other things I have read here in China over the years, I wonder if money is the only spice in Chinese marriages, given that a huge proportion of Chinese Women are dissatisfied with their husbands lovemaking abilities. Hardly a surprise when one also reads of the high numbers of men suffering from Erectile dysfunction. I also can't help wondering if the 'touching yourself is dirty and medically harmful' teaching that so obviously effects many young Chinese males, is not in some way responsible for erectile dysfunction. I also can't help wondering if many of the 'gay boys' in China are not simply boys who 'finally managed the task' with help from a friend, and given the lack of finance or other resources to partake of enjoyable sexual delights with the opposite sex, found it easier to just 'hang out' with the boys. I also find it strange that in a country where there is such fierce competition for a 'mate', that guys are so 'anti-gay'. Frankly, I think the straights should be encouraging the gays to come out of the closet, so that the straights will have a stronger chance of finding that elusive 'mother chick'. Chinese tradition being what it is, there are going to be plenty of gay husbands in China. And on that subject, 'Gay husbands', I find it strange that in the west, where everyone is so politically correct, multicultural, diverse, accepting and non discriminating, that the press and therefore the public, take such delight in finding homosexual skeleton's in the closets of public figures. It is a rare thing for public figure's heterosexual adultery to be splashed all over the news, but just give us a good whiff of homosexual fornicating, and we are pleased as punch. Makes you wonder how 'accepting' and 'non discriminating' we are. But then again, 'The Public has a right to know!' Maybe we could get Political Candidates tested like the potential catholic priests in Melbourne. Would it be possible to ID a possible 'adulterer'? Could we sniff out a 'closet' homosexual politician? If we could, then perhaps we could possibly sniff out political candidates who might be inclined toward, thievery, lying, corruption, deception, shady deals and inclined to succumb to big business machinations. (Helen Liu 'spy' storm widens)
Maybe we could also sniff out politicians who are mask Muslim, closet Christians, closet marxists, closet secularists, closet pro / anti abortion, and those who prefer to be in the closet when they should be voting on the floor. Oh No! Now my mind has gone off in a different direction! I'll never get these damn essays marked. R.P.BenDedek Email: rpbendedek@kingscalendar.com
Academic Articles at Magic City "The King's Calendar" is a chronological study of the historical books of the Bible (Kings and Chronicles), Josephus, Seder Olam Rabbah, and the (Essene) Damascus Document of The Dead Sea Scrolls. © Copyright 2002-2008 by Magic City Morning Star |
