This year marks the founding centennial of the Suzhou Polytechnic Institute of Agriculture, and yesterday there was an all day celebration of the event.
In usual Chinese Style, advice to us foreigners that we were to attend the celebrations (of which previously we were ignorant), was reasonably late coming. In my case, it arrived just a few hours before I was intending to shave off my golden locks; to hide my bald head under a permanently worn beanie for the duration of the cold weather.
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| Hit it boys! Rythmic drums to welcome the attendees. |
Friday night we were informed that our attendance was required as from 7:30am Sunday Morning November 11th.
Assured that I would be home to meet my expected guests at 3pm, come Sunday morning we headed off for parts and events unknown.
I started the morning making two wrong decisions.
The first was to sweep and wash my floor in anticipation of my guests later in the day.
This was a bad decision, because it left me with no time to eat, and as it transpired, I would have to wait another 5 hours to fill my stomach.
The second wrong decision I made, was to take my pocket sized digital camera.
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| Dragons greet the 'invitees' to the Celebration. |
I had no idea what awaited us throughout the day, and while deciding that it would be wise to have a camera, decided that I would leave my bulky 'better' camera at home. Oh how I came to regret that decision.
We arrived at the venue about an hour earlier than necessary, and were introduced to visitors from Italy, Holland, America and Japan. What a sight for sore eyes they were, especially the men. So often Chinese people comment on the fact that I am a 'BIG' man, and so it was wonderful to finally prove that indeed I am not so big at all. At home, I am the smallest in my family. Oh the shame!
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| In the Middle of Italians and Dutch people - And they say here that I am a BIG man. |
At the appropriate time, we entered the building, signed our names using a calligraphy pen, received our corsages and were taken to our seats in an auditorium decked out for the inevitable round of boring speeches. Boring in any language of course, but made ever so slightly bearable because they were, with the exception of one, to be given in Chinese.
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| Deputy Provincial Govenor Huang Lixin is the lady on the left. |
Various and numerous dignitaries sat on the stage, although from our vantage point at the front, only the first row were visible. Amongst the guests were the Deputy Governor of Jiangsu Province, Party Secretaries, international colleagues and other assorted but unknown personages.
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| Frank (forgot his last name) from Michigan State University. |
At one point, Frank, (sorry I can't remember his last name) from Michigan State University was called to the podium to give a speech in English. (Institute of International Agriculture Michigan State University)
As he rattled off Chinese names in his greetings, dignatries and guests alike giggled at his mispronunciations, but we foreigners got our own back when later, Mr. Klaver from Holland was introduced.
He was introduced as 'Mr. Clever', the fact of which we reminded him several times later over lunch.
After about an hour of (insert favourite word), the stage was cleared in preparation for what was to follow.
Taking my cue, I retired to the washroom with one of the Chinese Teachers. Well you would have thought it was Tokyo on the heaviest 'smog' day of the year.
The place was full of cigarette smoke, sufficient not to be able to see the person ahead of you.
As the place was crowded, I ducked outside to the hallway and joining others, lit a cigarette there. An old Chinese gentleman exited the washroom, looked me up and down, and for the benefit of the Chinese made a comment about the foreigner standing there smoking. I proudly announced that I was also Chinese and like to smoke. It was an impromptu stage act of my own.
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| The Biggest of the boys. |
After fighting our way through the smog and completing the business of the day, Alex and I returned to the auditorium.
Just as well because a musical spectacular was just beginning.
The performances over the next hour or so just took the breath away, especially the performance given by the two male acrobats.
There were numerous costume changes, lots of colour and lighting, and even a play.
Possibly the most entertaining piece of the day came from the male presenter.
At one point, while he was standing at the front of the stage introducing the act that was about to be performed, one group of performers took up their positions on the floor just behind him.
When he had finished his little job, he turned and promptly stumbled into the three beauties sitting on the floor. How they managed not to be hurt, and how he managed to stay on his feet I'll never know.
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| Lovely girls, shame about the presenter falling over them. |
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| Only about 20 or so and so strong! |
As I said earlier, I had only taken my pocket camera, and the batteries were worse for wear.
I found it difficult to keep taking photographs, and certainly could not take 'whole' videos of the performances.
I was only slightly annoyed with my faulty decision, when the male acrobats appeared.
Oh how I was kicking myself then.
Their skill and strength brought audible 'gasps' from the audience. Frankly, I failed to fully appreciate it all because I kept having to close and open the camera.
These young guys, only around 20 years old, were spectacular. This is not to say that the other male performers were not of similar skill.
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| Audible gasps from the audience at this. |
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| Siamese Twins - one head. |
The other boys were every bit as agile as the girls. These were by the way, all students from the college.
Whilst it appeared that they may not have had sufficient practice to 'expertly' complete their routines what was obvious was that they were all training to be professionals.
Now I can't help myself here, I have to tell you of something that was probably not so visible to those seated further back in the auditorium.
There was one boy who was obviously very professional, but who appeared to have a small problem.
While he was doing his routine, his beautiful white and gold costume began to reveal a piece of light blue material. It perplexed me.
Eventually he did a huge stretch which caused his clothing to stretch, and it was at that moment that the secret was revealed.
The blue material appeared to be his underwear. I just couldn't figure out how it could be pulled up so high. It occurred to me that he must be suffering from a huge 'wedgie'. I had no sooner come to this conclusion when the most remarkable thing happened.
Something popped out of the the trousers of the boy beside him. It was obviously connected to his 'top' for it was of the same 'fawn' colour. It was triangular! And that was what gave away the secret! It appears that for the purpose of keeping their tops and bottoms together, that they were wearing 'one piece' top and bottom.
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| No - not an American Jive contest! |
These 'one piece' suits apparently had a 'velcrose strip' located in the crutch. When the smaller boy performed some difficult manouvre, the velcrose gave way and 'popped out' of his trousers. Isn't life full of just such surprises?
How I wished that I could have taken a photograph of that incident, but I had no idea how many 'worthwhile' photographs were still to be taken and I could not risk using up all my battery power. In fact, just before the performances ended, my camera died.
When the spectacular was finished, the performers all came out on stage and took their 'curtain calls', and immediately the audience jumped to their feet and proceeded to rush out of the auditorium.
The two presenters however had not finished their jobs, and like troopers delivered their last message. So fast were the exiting crowds however, that no one was left by the time that I was following my group to the Gala Luncheon.
The Female presenter (dressed in red), raised her eyebrows, looked at the male presenter, and then stopped mid sentence and put down the microphone.
As she straightened she looked directly at me. I gave her a hearty smile. She smiled back and just raised her eyebrows as if to say - 'eh? Why bother?'
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| No 'lip synching' during this performance. |
From the auditorium we headed off to the Luncheon with it's many fine Chinese Dishes. Even the food was nice!
The wine however was a bit of a shock. It was actually a Chinese Wine called 'Great Wall', and it tasted like a Jacob's Creek Cabernet Merlot from Australia. It was delicious.
At lunch I was seated with my Chinese Co-ordinator Mr. Xu, another Chinese teacher called Alex, Albert the Philippino English Teacher, and the Dutch Delegation, which included Mr. Clever.... er.. I mean Mr. Klaver.
The Dutch found the 'honey like' fish soup delicious - I gave it a pass!
They tried the Duck tongue - I passed again. The Scampi was delicious - but I'm allergic!
The prawns were to die for - again allergic, and the rice, cold meat, green grass (qing cai), and stewed something (beef, dog, horse ?) were all fine! The wine of course was the best, and it was consumed like lemonade.
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| No Comment! |
In due course, it was suddenly announced that lunch was over, and everyone jumped up in unison and disappeared for parts unknown! Hang On there Mack! We ain't finished this bottle of 'red' - and 'where's the coffee?' Oh well - gulping down the last of the red wine, we were all whisked away without even a chance to say good bye to several of the foreign delegates. Such is life in China.
When I got home I lay down for a quick 'kip' (aussie for sleep) and was awoken by my 3pm visitors. They left at 5 pm. I did some work on my computer, and after that, put on a movie to watch.
When the movie finished I took off my earphones. Off in the distance I could hear what sounded like a concert.
A little later I could hear fireworks. Whatever the event was must have been something special by the sound of it, although I was completely in the dark.
This morning I was asked: 'Why did you not attend the concert last night?' Concert? Concert? What concert? Did anyone tell me? - No! Typical! Always the last to know!
R.P.Bendedek
Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com
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R.P.BenDedek is the pseudonym of the Author of 'The King's Calendar: The Secret of Qumran' (www.kingscalendar.com), and is a guest columnist at Magic City Morning Star News. An Australian, he currently teaches Conversational English in China.
Photographic Stories from China
"The King's Calendar" is a chronological study of the historical books of the Bible (Kings and Chronicles), Josephus, Seder Olam Rabbah, and the (Essene) Damascus Document of The Dead Sea Scrolls.
