Psychology Now Watch What You Say
Have you ever noticed that really nice people never have a bad word to say about anyone. No doubt they have the same frustrations with family, neighbors and co-workers as everyone else, but they have decided to approach life differently.
Jun 25, 2009 - 10:39:40 AM
Psychology Now Growing Through Change
It seems so much of our struggles in life exist around change. Our sweet little children become independence-seeking, mind-of-their-own, adolescents. A stay at home mom who lived a very predictable life suddenly wants to explore yoga, meditation, spirituality, or join a running group. There is a new manager at work who wants to change the way things have always been done.
Jun 18, 2009 - 11:26:07 AM
Psychology Now People You Just Can't Stand
Did you ever notice how much time people can spend talking about people they do not like? They will recount every detail of what the person has said or done. They will repeat things that others have said about that person. They will go over the same stories, comments or opinions time and time again.
Jun 11, 2009 - 12:06:26 PM
Psychology Now Getting or Giving the Silent Treatment
Do you, or does someone you know use the silent treatment when angry or upset? This is a passive-aggressive way to try to punish or manipulate the other person. Whether in a family, a relationship or in the social or work group, it can be very harmful.
Jun 4, 2009 - 1:32:57 PM
Psychology Now Bullying Can Happen Anywhere
Bullying does not happen only with children on the playground. Siblings may bully each other. Parents may bully their children; children may bully their parents. Husbands and wives may bully each other, and teens may be bullied by their girlfriend/boyfriend. Sadly, teachers sometimes bully, as do coaches. Bullying also happens in the workplace.
May 28, 2009 - 12:04:11 PM
Psychology Now Stop That Negative Self-Talk
Do you have an inner critic that works overtime? Sometimes negative self-talk gets way out of control. It is like negative brainwashing that just does not quit. Sometimes it has been going on so long that the individual believes that what the critic says is true.
May 21, 2009 - 11:19:16 AM
Psychology Now When You Don't Want To Be Hurt Anymore
When we have been hurt by friends or loved ones it is easy to become cautious of others and even reluctant to trust. A person may decide they do not want to become involved in a relationship again because "all men/women are the same and you can't trust any of them."
May 14, 2009 - 10:24:04 AM
Psychology Now Responding to Criticism
How to you react when someone criticizes you? Our first instinct may be to defend ourselves, or else to retaliate. This indicates that we have been offended by the criticism. If this is true, we have given the other the power to hurt us.
May 7, 2009 - 10:28:28 AM
Psychology Now Growing Up Whole
It certainly can be a challenge dealing with the demands and frustrations of being a parent, while at the same time being conscious of the emotional wellbeing of our children.
May 1, 2009 - 10:22:48 AM
Psychology Now When Parenting Styles Differ
Before even getting married couples should talk about their beliefs and attitudes to parenting. This is as important a criterion for compatibility as interests or long-term goals.
Apr 23, 2009 - 9:31:48 AM
Psychology Now Living the Life We Have
It is true that we often hear ourselves or others lament the passing of what used to be. We wish we were younger, or at least looked or felt younger. We wish our investments were worth what they used to be. It was so much easier when the kids were small and they just did what we told them.
Apr 3, 2009 - 11:14:51 AM
Psychology Now Navigating Through Tough Times
These are tough economic times, and we are all waiting for things to begin to turn around. That could take a while yet. Many are being challenged in ways they never have been before.
Mar 26, 2009 - 3:07:31 PM
Psychology Now Helping Men to Express Feelings
Women often complain that men are out of touch with their feelings, or cannot understand how women feel. There is no doubt that there are some differences in the way men and women experience emotions, but there does not have to be such a great divide.
Mar 23, 2009 - 10:30:40 AM
Psychology Now When Teens Hurt Themselves
Parents feel distressed and often helpless when they discover their teen has been practicing self-mutilation. Both males and females can be affected, but we see it more often in girls.
Mar 5, 2009 - 1:11:56 PM
Psychology Now Relieving Stress Through Non-Attachment
Think of how often we experience stress or anxiety about something that may happen. We worry that we will not get the promotion or the new job. We worry that the weather may turn bad for our weekend at the lake, or the roads may be icy when we go to work in the morning. We stress over whether the new relationship will work out, or if we will get everything done on our "to do" list.
Feb 26, 2009 - 12:26:18 PM
Psychology Now Deep Listening Shows You Care
Communication is so much more than the words being said. True communication is a very complex process, and it is a wonder sometimes that we even understand one another at all.
Feb 12, 2009 - 11:13:31 AM
Psychology Now Parents as Blueprints for Children
Children learn most from what they see. Too often parents yell at them for being too noisy, or slap them for hitting a sibling. They may criticize a child and list his or her faults, and then chastise the child for criticizing a sibling.
Feb 5, 2009 - 10:59:25 AM
Psychology Now Emotional Affairs Threaten Marriage
Emotional affairs can be very threatening to a marriage. An emotional affair is when two people form a strong bond and begin to share more and more of themselves with the other. What differentiates an emotional affair from a friendship?
Jan 29, 2009 - 10:26:26 AM
Psychology Now Having the Courage to Try New Things
Does fear stop you from trying new things? Do you hesitate to apply for a new job, take a course, or meet new people because you feel insecure about how you will do? This is a fear of the unknown, because if we had a guarantee that things would turn out well, we likely would be more willing to go ahead with a new experience.
Jan 22, 2009 - 9:54:28 AM
Psychology Now Psychology for Living
It is not only adults who suffer from anxiety. It is quite common in children, although it manifests in different ways and may occur at different stages. A newborn baby may not really notice who is holding him, or care, so long as he is comfortable. A few months later, the baby may begin "making strange." This is an early form of anxiety about the unknown.
Jan 8, 2009 - 1:49:36 PM
Psychology Now When You Don't Like the In-Laws
What do you do if you do not like your in-laws? Do you constantly remind your spouse of all the deficiencies of his family members, and how much you despise them? Do you frequently tell your friends and family members how stupid these people are and the latest episode in which they offended you? Do you try to avoid contact with them, and put up resistance when your spouse wants to spend time with them? Do you try to limit the time your spouse spends with his or her own family, even it you do not have to be there?
Jan 1, 2009 - 7:49:38 PM
Psychology Now Aging Parents: Be Prepared
If you have aging parents sooner or later you are likely going to have to take some responsibility for them. It can be hard to think about this: denial can set in or we decide we will deal with it when the time comes.
Dec 16, 2008 - 10:47:38 AM
Psychology Now Avoiding A Nasty Divorce
Divorce is never easy, but does it have to be nasty? It can become that way when, after years of functioning more or less on the same team, a couple finds themselves in an adversarial position. Each can feel threatened, believing the other wants to take away more than his/her share.
Dec 4, 2008 - 10:09:37 AM
Psychology Now When a Partner Says It's Over
The ending of a relationship can be like a death, particularly if you did not want it to end, and most particularly, if you did not see it coming. When someone dear to us dies, there are stages in the grieving process that most experience. There may be shock, disbelief, denial, anger, sadness and many other emotions, and one may cycle through all of them many times before finally reaching a place of acceptance.
Nov 24, 2008 - 7:29:40 PM
Psychology Now Career Choices: Supporting Our Children
A parent's job certainly is to help their child prepare for the future. It can be a daunting task for some to figure out what they want as a career. How can you really know at sixteen what you will be happy doing at thirty-five? No wonder some students are overwhelmed when it comes time to decide what they will do after graduation. It is even more difficult when you have friends who have been certain about their career path since age twelve, and are ready to go.
Nov 13, 2008 - 9:11:17 AM
Psychology Now Behaviour Problems in Children: Is it ADD/ADHD?
Parents sometimes wonder if their child is naturally exuberant, and non-compliant, or if these are symptoms of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).
Nov 7, 2008 - 12:11:12 AM
Psychology Now Chronic Depression Affects Many
When we speak of depression, many picture an individual who is so sad and unmotivated that it is an effort to get out of bed or tend to personal care. Indeed this does characterize some who are severely depressed and need medical care.
Oct 30, 2008 - 11:05:51 AM
Psychology Now Improving Communication
We all know how to talk, but vary in our ability to communicate. In school we learn to read and write: we get a grounding in the mechanics. We also learn how to communicate ideas; how to use those mechanics to convey our thoughts.
Oct 23, 2008 - 9:44:19 AM
Psychology Now Responding to Child's Performance
Many parents provide their children with opportunities to participate in sports, or to take various kinds of lessons including art, music and dance. This is a good thing. Children can develop their skills and abilities as well as gaining poise, confidence and even leadership skills.
Oct 20, 2008 - 12:41:38 PM
Psychology Now Stop Verbal Abuse in Your Home
Imagine if your spouse, colleague or another family member told you that you were stupid, ugly, fat, or that you were a loser. You would likely be outraged, and consider this verbal abuse. You would also most likely be deeply hurt. No doubt you would consider this kind of communication totally unacceptable. If it continued you would avoid contact with the abuser, and if it were a spouse, you might eventually leave the marriage. As an adult, you could do something to protect yourself.
Oct 9, 2008 - 11:47:34 AM
Psychology Now Being True to Yourself
I have worked with many clients who experience frustration and even resentment upon realizing they have been pleasers all their lives. It may have begun when, as children, they realized that life was more pleasant when you did what others wanted you to do.
Oct 2, 2008 - 12:44:08 PM
Psychology Now Men and Women Perceive Relationships Differently
I often hear the concern from women that they seem to be the ones who work to keep their relationship going. They feel that the man just carries on day to day, without thinking too much about what is happening in the relationship. They wish that their partners were more proactive, rather than sitting back and only discussing the relationship when the woman brings up a concern. Even then, his response is often defensive, so that she feels like the "bad guy" even though she is trying to do something that she hopes would benefit both of them.
Sep 26, 2008 - 9:52:41 PM
Psychology Now Understanding Chronic Pain
Those who suffer from chronic pain have a most difficult and challenging path. Generally they have had the pain for a long time, and often have tried everything to get relief. Sometimes absolutely nothing helps.
Sep 18, 2008 - 9:57:39 AM
Psychology Now Handling the Teen Years
When our children become teenagers, parents are often challenged. This is not because the teenager is challenging the parent or necessarily making life difficult. Parents are challenged because sooner or later they have to give up control over their child.
Sep 11, 2008 - 10:31:24 AM
Psychology Now Caring for Aging Parents Brings Up Many Complex Issues
The question of care for aging parents brings up many complex issues. Some families are very close, loving and financially secure, which certainly makes things easier. The children want to take care of their parents and have the resources to do it. No one should feel guilty if they do not fall into that category, nor should they be judged. Many adult children were not loved and supported by their parents, and do not feel close to them. When, at forty or fifty years old they are faced with the prospect of possibly years of caring for a parent, they become overwhelmed. They should be able to make some guilt free choices.
Sep 4, 2008 - 10:06:17 PM
Psychology Now Sexual Abuse and Protecting Children
Many parents are wondering what to tell their children about sexual abuse by persons in positions of trust, such as coaches and teachers. Sometimes it seems as though there is no one you can trust, yet this is not the fear-based mentality that we want our children to carry. Still, we want to protect them.
Aug 28, 2008 - 12:12:20 PM
Psychology Now Healing Marriage after Infidelity
Can a marriage be saved when there has been infidelity? It depends. It depends on so many things. I have seen marriages be destroyed when there has been betrayal, and I have seen others grow stronger.
Aug 21, 2008 - 12:07:37 PM
Psychology Now Support When Quitting Addictions
It can be a challenge to quit using drugs or alcohol when there has been a dependency or addiction. The first challenge is to stop using. That is hard enough in itself.
Aug 14, 2008 - 10:24:57 AM
Psychology Now Falling Out of Love
So you want to leave your relationship, but you really do not want to hurt your partner. You agonize, because the loving feelings just are not there, and perhaps have not been for a long time. It may not even be that there are issues that, if resolved, would make you want to stay.
Aug 8, 2008 - 11:15:39 PM
