"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." -- Harvey S. Firestone
Bullying does not happen only with children on the playground. Siblings may bully each other. Parents may bully their children; children may bully their parents. Husbands and wives may bully each other, and teens may be bullied by their girlfriend/boyfriend. Sadly, teachers sometimes bully, as do coaches. Bullying also happens in the workplace.
If one does not have high self-esteem to begin with, it is easy for them to begin to think less of themselves because of what the bully has said or done. This negative self-evaluation can affect all areas of life. If one is used to being bullied or put-down, they may attract others who do the same, and put up with it because they always have.
Bullies are insecure people. They do not feel so good about themselves, and they get a false sense of strength by overpowering others. Arguing with a bully usually only brings on more insults.
If you are a young person being bullied you need to get help from an adult. You do not have to put up with being treated badly. Parents must intervene if siblings are bullying one another. Similarly, parents need to protect their children from bullying by the other parent.
If you are being bullied in the workplace you also need to let management or human resources know. If management is doing the bullying you can either file a human rights complaint, or start looking for a different job.
If you are being bullied in a relationship, you need to set some clear boundaries. It is important not to allow yourself to continually be abused. If it is a friendship or relationship, and if the person will not stop, you need to end it.
If you are married, and the bullying will not stop, you can try professional help. If the bullying persists, you must do what you can to get away. This is no way to live, and eventually it will make you physically ill.
Above all, have faith and belief in yourself. Be your own best friend and stand up for yourself. You are not the bully's definition of you.
Gwen Randall-Young is an author and award-winning Psychotherapist. For permission to reprint this article, or to obtain books or cds, visit www.gwen.ca.
