A survey by Todays Mom and Parenting.com of 6000 moms revealed that 3 out of 4 mothers admit their kids are spoiled --- and 60 percent said their own children are more spoiled than they were as kids.
This survey, which was taken over the holidays, showed parents trying their best to lavish holiday gifts only to see the less-than-grateful faces of their children demanding, "Is that all?"
New Yorker Magazine reporter Elizabeth Kolbert wrote, "It's not just that they've been given unprecedented amounts of stuff -- clothes, toys, cameras, skis, computers, televisions, cell phones, PlayStations, iPods... They've also been granted unprecedented authority."
Take this story of Megan C, who is a mother of 3 daughters. She and her husband have a modest family background and both of them worked hard to provide education for their 3 daughters.
"I have thought that I am actually loving my children by giving them what they want. Other than schooling, I ask very little of them." said Megan.
Megan found something extremely wrong after a while when her communications with her daughters became rough. She would come home and see her kids sitting in front of the television, and when she asked them to stop watching TV, they would swear at her.
Megan would be running around doing tasks, at the beck and call of her children, while feeling like a lowly servant.
"They are not horrible children. But I do not know what went wrong." Megan said.
|"Love em but don't spoil em" Matchmaker Hellen Chen teaches parents what is the fine line between loving and spoiling a child|
Family expert, matchmaker Hellen Chen, has helped over a hundred singles to get married and further helping them to form families. Megan sought Chen's help in finding out what went wrong in her own household.
"Both Megan and her husband have the simple goal of providing for their children with education and material comfort. But they are missing a huge part of raising children and thus they managed to raise spoiled irresponsible kids instead, and worst of all, their children do not feel their love at all." said Chen
In a magazine interview on parenting, Chen talks about a few of the biggest mistakes well-meaning parents make. One is the "all-you-need-to-do-is-study" concept conveyed by parents to their children.
Chen cited parents who wanted their children to focus only on education and so taught their children not to care for other aspects of their responsibilities.
"So a child graduated from a good college. But he or she has no skills to have friends or carry a lasting relationship or start a family. Or be responsible at a job. The truth is, if those skills are not learned from when the child is very young, that child will pay the price when they reach adulthood."
"It is no coincidence that when you look at someone who fails in their marriage, that they are missing education in social responsibilities from when they were young. A parent who provides the child with the 'perfect' environment is setting the stage for that child to fail miserably in life."
When asked about the high divorce trends in the US and in other parts of the world, Chen related the problem to the education at home from 'well-meaning' parents.
"If we are raising our children to only think about themselves, then do not be surprised when that child grows up only asking 'how could you make ME happy?' Those children could not possibly be good spouses, could they?".
Chen has written 20 books on the subject of relationships, marriage, parenting and personal accomplishments. Her latest bestselling book "the Matchmaker of the Century" highlighted the concepts of how learning about relationships when they are young will bring less duress on a person's marriage in his or her adult life.
In addition to becoming the #1 bestselling book on marriage and relationships, the Matchmaker of the Century also became the #1 bestselling book in the families categories.