Magic City Morning Star
146 Katahdin Ave
Millinocket, ME 04462

Dear Magic City Morning Star:

I'm running for President.

Rational Americans simply cannot accept the candidates foisted upon them by the professional political machines. Obama and McCain are implausible representatives of an American people striving to maintain a gallant and honorable nation. Unwilling to earn an honest living, political elitists survive by manipulating our electoral system in order to continue feeding at the public trough. They switch positions, but they never go home.

You already know that those politicians, bureaucrats, and lobbyists are the real enemy. They are absolutely certain that, faced with their orchestrated political process, you have no choice but to vote either for their favorite candidate or for their other favorite candidate. They win; you lose. Haven't you already heard that "they have no choice but to vote for Obama (or McCain). Where else can they go?!"

Folks, the reason you are never sure where a candidate stands on any issue is because he himself is never sure. What he fervently believes depends upon his audience.

A righteous man must make very few decisions each day. His principles, morals and ethics - in concert with education and maturity - make most decisions for him.

Principled politicians are not solely self-interested equivocators (the term "liars" being too coarse). They accept their sworn responsibility to pursue the general welfare of their constituency and of our nation as a whole.

Our government acts as if we were ignorant children, and too often, as if we were the enemy.

For about two hundred years, the Federal Government has held the opinion that all land across America belongs to Washington DC. Thus they can take any territory from any state for their national parks or any other purposes. The Feds prohibit state or local development of what is really our own property. Washington parasites did not settle and develop these state lands. We did.

Eminent Domain is another method by which federal, state, and local politicians steal private property from you for someone else's financial scheme.

And the list goes on:

• The American people want English as our official language.
• The American people want to protect our borders.
• The American people have always realized that marriage is not just any strange sexual relationship.
• The American people know that global warming is a silly myth.
• The American people know that they voted for limited government.

Politicians always know better.

Since 1973 we have steadily increased petroleum imports. All this time we were told that politicians know better.

Ramos and Compean have been unjustly jailed for defending our southern border. The entire nation wants them freed. Politicians know better.

It has become increasingly apparent that, in reality, our politicians share two bipartisan goals: financial success and reelection for additional financial success.

It is toward the attainment of this second goal that they are willing to dedicate as much of our money as is required, in the form of legislated earmarks, pork-barrel spending, bribery, or theft.

Since grousing is cheap, I propose a solution.

In November we will again go to the polls. I was intending to offer myself as a candidate for all Senate and House races, in all fifty states. But residency requirements would render this strategy impractical.

So I propose that all American citizens write in the name "John Brown" for all federal senate and house races nationwide. There is a John Brown living in each state of the union. And since there is no way of knowing the party affiliation of "John Brown," this will ensure a nonpartisan election. It will be all of us together against all of them! True separation of polloi and state. By the time election officials figure out which John Browns won in each state, it will be abundantly clear that all incumbent senators and reps need to go home and find honest employment.

Last and probably not least, we must elect a president of these United States. Here we have a chance at a second revolution. You do not really know, and you cannot trust, any of the current candidates. So once again you would just have to vote and hope, knowing that once again you will be mightily disappointed.

Please do not tolerate it any more. Send them all home and put all future candidates on notice. Hundreds of thousands of government sucklings will rue the day that I wrote this letter. You now have this opportunity to prove to them and to yourselves that our great nation has a future.

Therefore, I sacrifice myself to accept the job of President of the United States. I promise no pomp, no nonsense, no financial or political ambition. Just hard work for all Americans.

I want nothing, so nobody can buy me. Don't write me off; write me in!

Joseph Pasulka
Southport North Carolina