Laura on Life
Laura on Life
The Big Red Machines
The big red machines are at least somewhat better than mine because the loading and unloading is all done at chest level - no bending and twisting or lifting with your back.
Mar 19, 2010 - 12:30:13 AM
Laura on Life
Chores Won't Get You a Lamborghini
A good work ethic is developed over time. No child is born with it. So, if you ever hope to have help putting on a new roof someday, you have to train your children to have a good work ethic.
Aug 11, 2009 - 10:38:49 AM
Laura on Life
A Great Job
I was thinking about how lucky I am to have such a great job. Do you remember a time when it wasn't considered a job unless you were putting your proverbial grindstone to the shoulder while you were doing it? (Yes, that word swap was juvenile, but intentional. Watch for more.)
Jul 27, 2009 - 12:02:43 AM
Laura on Life
Serendipity
It was one of those serendipitous events that happens only a couple of times in someone else's life. They happen so rarely that I've never had an occasion to use the word "serendipitous"... until now.
Jul 21, 2009 - 1:31:56 PM
Laura on Life
Deciding Not To Decide
One rule to live by is to never go into a grocery store without a list, because inevitably you will come out with everything except the one item you went in for. On the other hand, you might leave without anything except a bag of peanut M&M's because you forgot that you went in for Muenster cheese.
Jul 15, 2009 - 11:25:25 AM
Laura on Life
Twittering
Have you heard about Twitter? It is the newest digital time-waster designed to hi-jack people's lives. I'm not saying it isn't a great tool for people to see just exactly what you are doing every half-hour or so. It's wonderful to be able to track your favorite celebrity's every move, but in 1999 we called that stalking.
Jul 13, 2009 - 10:31:58 AM
Laura on Life
Preparing Potential Parents
To all the childless women I have ever talked to about having children: I'm sorry.
Jul 7, 2009 - 1:40:17 PM
Laura on Life
It's All In The Interpretation
Interpretation is all a matter of who is doing the interpreting, isn't it? Our planet's inhabitants have so many diverse languages. It's not surprising that very often leaders of nations are misinterpreted and misquoted. If the world were less tolerant than it already is, the lack of understanding caused by misinterpretation could've ended our species long ago.
Jul 6, 2009 - 12:10:21 AM
Laura on Life
Gypsy Cleaning Fairies
You know what my house needs? It needs a team of gypsy cleaning fairies. Not just your ordinary run-of-the-mill gypsy cleaning fairies, but the sort that can see invisible stuff.
Jun 24, 2009 - 1:43:39 PM
Laura on Life
A Ticking Time Bomb
My Mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a tiny lump and it hadn't had a chance to spread, so she's fine now. People say she was lucky, but I say she was smart.
Jun 20, 2009 - 12:37:05 PM
Laura on Life
The Pit Stop
My seven-year old finally earned enough money to buy himself a toy he's been eyeing at Wal-Mart. It's a race car that comes with all the accessories needed for a Pit Stop. There were extra tires, an oil can, a fuel pump, and tools for washing windows and checking the engine.
Jun 16, 2009 - 12:09:07 PM
Laura on Life
Defying The Odds
Life is so much simpler when you are a child. Anything is possible. Well, to be honest, anything is still possible, but when you are an adult, if it's not probable, we don't even try. As adults, we measure the odds.
Jun 12, 2009 - 1:30:53 PM
Laura on Life
Frogs, Jell-o and Character
There are many times I've considered homeschooling my kids. The public school systems are such a mess right now and are run counter-intuitively. They spend less money and time on those children who really want to learn and more on those who couldn't care less.
Jun 9, 2009 - 2:03:01 PM
Laura on Life
Dad's Day
This Father's Day, like every other Father's Day, my thoughts go careening back to the time I was a mouthy teenager. My father was often upset with me for some smart-aleck comment I would make. I guess, even then, I was in training to be a humor columnist, but with remarkable hindsight, I can see now that practicing my sassiness on my Dad wasn't the smartest thing I could've done.
Jun 5, 2009 - 8:21:50 AM
Laura on Life
What Else Is Down There?
A clean house was never one of my priorities. Maybe a far-off dream like granite countertops and a professionally landscaped yard, but not a priority.
Jun 2, 2009 - 12:19:55 PM
Laura on Life
The Stages of Beading
My daughter and I share a love of beads and beading. However, we shop for beads a little differently. I usually decide what I want to make and then go into a craft store and buy the right beads for my project. When I'm finished with my project, I throw the leftover beads into a bin.
May 29, 2009 - 2:58:42 PM
Laura on Life
A Hot-Rod For Geeks
My son needed a new laptop for college. The one he uses now has developed a case of whatever the opposite of arthritis is. Its joints do not stiffen up (that would be preferable), but the screen seems to take perverse pleasure in loosening up and dropping over at the most inopportune moments.
May 22, 2009 - 12:08:16 PM
Laura on Life
Shopping Cart Protocol
Life is busy, isn't it? Most days I wander around my little piece of the planet, oblivious to certain protocols, political correctness, or unspoken rules. Sometimes, I don't even so much as make eye contact with the people around me.
May 19, 2009 - 12:25:55 PM
Laura on Life
Beam Me Up Scotty!
It's happening. The event of the year. Something every male in my family has been awaiting with barely-controlled excitement. Yes, the new Star Trek movie is out.
May 15, 2009 - 10:25:28 AM
Laura on Life
The Look
When I was a kid, my mom had a secret weapon for getting her children to behave. The weapon was silent. It was invisible. And... it got results.
May 12, 2009 - 12:11:59 PM
Laura on Life
Nobody Looks That Good!
Television commercial are big fat lies. I used to believe them when I was a kid. I really thought that kids would like a certain cereal if "Mikey" liked it. The newest toy was always on my Christmas wish list because, well, the kids on TV looked so happy when they played with it. I believed those commercials… until I became a mom.
May 8, 2009 - 9:07:54 AM
Laura on Life
Why He's My Guy
Twenty-eight years ago, I married my best friend. Throughout all of the changes in our lives, he is still my best friend.
May 5, 2009 - 10:14:01 AM
Laura on Life
Just In Case
My Mom was a German immigrant who came to the United States when she was ten years old. She and her family moved to Buffalo, NY which has a large Polish population. Then she married a man who lived in the city but would've proudly proclaimed himself a redneck at heart.
May 4, 2009 - 1:25:58 PM
Laura on Life
It's All In The Name
I once knew a dentist named Dr. Payne. It wasn't my dentist, of course. Dentists are scary enough without adding the mental anguish that would surely come with gambling on the last name of Payne. What was he thinking? Of all the careers he could have chosen, he chose the one that most defied his name.
Apr 28, 2009 - 10:59:58 AM
Laura on Life
Children Who Go Bump In The Night
I'm a pretty light sleeper. Most people who have children have taught themselves to sleep with one ear open. This is because when you have children, the "fun" doesn't stop when the lights go out.
Apr 22, 2009 - 10:39:36 AM
Laura on Life
Only Morning People Like Prehistoric Animals
A conversation with my twelve-year old at 6:30 in the morning...
Apr 17, 2009 - 9:30:40 AM
Laura on Life
How Do I Get Out of Here?
I walked into a Toys 'R Us the other day and promptly got lost. I stumbled through Seasonal, made a left at Hanna Montana and ended up somewhere between large plastic yard toys and Rock'em Sock'em Robots.
Apr 16, 2009 - 12:22:51 PM
Laura on Life
A Boy's Career Path
With some kids, from the time they reach a certain age, you know exactly what profession they will choose when they grow up.
Apr 7, 2009 - 10:54:43 AM
Laura on Life
The Power of Flowers
Much as I like receiving a random gift of chocolate, it's not around long enough to really appreciate the giver of said chocolate.
Apr 4, 2009 - 9:04:20 PM
Laura on Life
Are We Having Fun Yet?
The North Carolina Zoo has a program called "Snooze at the Zoo." It sounded innocent enough. It sounded fun. And I suppose it would have been, if I was not the one who had to go. My husband thought it would be fun to spend some time with my twelve-year old while chaperoning for the school group that used this program as their field trip.
Apr 1, 2009 - 10:02:43 PM
Laura on Life
Laws of Levity
Like many people, my husband and I have dreams of traveling when we retire. Whether that dream comes true or not is largely dependent on a few factors. One is whether our health is good enough. If it is, then we need to find a place to travel which would not involve an airplane - because I hate flying - or a foreign language, because my husband thinks we'll have trouble ordering food if we don't speak the language.
Mar 27, 2009 - 11:03:31 AM
Laura on Life
Woman's Work
At what point in a male child's development does he realize that he is a "man." Is it as soon as he is wrapped in blue bunting and sent home from the hospital? Is it the day that someone hands him a toy truck as opposed to a baby doll? Does it sink in when he is taught to pee standing up?
Mar 24, 2009 - 10:50:53 AM
Laura on Life
Plan B
Sometimes life changes unexpectedly. Plans that have been laid out for years can suddenly take an abrupt left. Creative people look at these changes and simply say, "Okay... What's Plan B?"
Mar 20, 2009 - 2:01:43 PM
Laura on Life
30 Years of Progress
When I was a kid, just 30-something years ago, I woke up to the sound of a tea kettle whistling so that my dad could get a cup of instant Maxwell House before driving to work. I walked to school, carrying my books until we moved and then I took a bus.
Mar 17, 2009 - 10:55:05 AM
Laura on Life
Buying The Farm
It never fails. I could be doing something really normal, like trying to get the knot out of a sneaker with my teeth when the owner of said sneaker would ask something totally off-topic like: "Mommy, am I going to die?"
Mar 13, 2009 - 11:31:18 AM
Laura on Life
A Check Equals A Cookie
When raising children, you learn to use whatever methods are available to you for getting a child to mind.
Mar 10, 2009 - 10:32:49 AM
Laura on Life
Cow Conservation
My twelve year-old fancies himself a crusader for "green" living to combat global warming. Notice I didn't say "clean" living. His bedroom resembles a toxic waste dump site, but let's recycle those milk jugs, right?
Mar 6, 2009 - 10:35:10 AM
Laura on Life
Flu-Hoo
The name's Floo. Floo Virus. I am a creature of stealth, intelligence, & adaptability. I'm not an idiot. And if I have to stand here with all these other yahoos in this over-congested lung and listen to my bonehead of a boss tell me what my job is, I swear I'm just going to mutate!
Mar 3, 2009 - 12:59:49 PM
Laura on Life
Nutrition Fallacies
I was reading the "Nutrition Facts" on the side of my cereal box this morning. It was very informative about just what, exactly, was going into my body at that moment. I tried to ignore the fact that the calorie count was based on a 1/2 cup serving and I was eating out of a mixing bowl. I mean, they don't actually think I'm going to be able to measure anything at oh-my-gosh- o'clock in the morning, do they? I can't even read the clock yet... or find a decent-sized bowl.
Feb 27, 2009 - 1:19:26 PM
Laura on Life
A Child and His Dixie Cup
When you have children living with you, ordinary household items become extraordinary. Only kids have the huge imagination that can make this transformation possible.
Feb 25, 2009 - 12:23:02 PM
|
