Laura on Life
Laura on Life
Saga of the Cheese
That bag of cheese curds used to be an ordinary bag of cheese curds
settled amongst its friends in a grocery store's refrigerated dairy
case. It had a life of ease only disturbed when a distracted shopper's
fingers ran across its label on the way to the more popular sharp white
cheddars.
Jan 31, 2012 - 12:25:48 AM
Laura on Life
A Lesson In Buoyancy
"No-oo," he said as if he was talking to a moron. "I'm trying to BUILD a boat!" I would have chastised him for his sassiness, but I could see the future in this scenario, and I knew it wouldn't be long before he got his come-uppance.
Jan 25, 2012 - 3:12:40 AM
Laura on Life
Sleepless In The Bahamas
Believe it or not, the Bahamas are not warm in December. Okay, if you
compared it to say, Michigan, Maine or Montana in December, the Bahamas
would be downright toasty. But I'm comparing the Bahamas in December to
the Bahamas in June (which I assume is warmer).
Jan 18, 2012 - 12:15:41 AM
Laura on Life
Cruising
If you want to learn about another person's personal habits, the best
way to do it without asking is to go on a 5-day cruise with them. There
is nowhere to hide.
Jan 9, 2012 - 8:20:45 PM
Laura on Life
Good Stranger Moms
You want to keep your kids safe but sometimes it's difficult to
explain to them how to stay safe. How can they differentiate between the
"good strangers" and the "bad strangers" when sometimes it's even
difficult for adults to tell the difference?
Jan 4, 2012 - 8:55:48 AM
Laura on Life
No Water In The Glass
The little annoyances of everyday life are usually only on the fringe of your consciousness. Normally, the irritating things simply pass into your brain and out again with only a furrowed brow as evidence of their existence. But then there are days like today where everything is magnified to the point that the annoyances are the only things that register and every beautiful moment is wasted.
Jan 1, 2012 - 12:10:03 AM
Laura on Life
The Definition of An Adult
"I'm ten years old now. I'm an adult. I should be able to stay up
later." This from my son who, if traveling home in a car after 7:00 at
night, is fast asleep on his sister's lap.
Dec 31, 2011 - 1:35:49 AM
Laura on Life
Twelve Things For Christmas
There is a season for plumbers. It's called the Holiday season. It
never fails. I don't know if it's because of the increased number of
guests that need to use your bathroom or that December is the time for
all humans to shed hair. But whatever the reason, nearly every holiday
season, I have trouble with my drains.
Dec 21, 2011 - 2:47:07 AM
Laura on Life
The Blinding Truth
The trouble with the world can be characterized by an example of human behavior that is readily recognized, but is nonetheless unexplainable. This example happened while I was driving home one night.
Dec 16, 2011 - 3:17:31 AM
Laura on Life
Thoughts On Turning 50
I'm not in denial. It's just that fifty isn't as scary as it used to
be. In retrospect, I am confident that when I turn 60, I will wish I was
turning 50 again.
Dec 7, 2011 - 3:33:34 AM
Laura on Life
Watering Your Peacocks
There is a huge difference between negligence and murder. Though the
result is the same, I can forgive my forgetfulness, but intentionally
leaving them outside to freeze is unacceptable.
Nov 30, 2011 - 2:50:09 AM
Laura on Life
Tae Kwon Do-ing
Six months ago, I realized I had a choice. I could continue going to my
son's Tae Kwon Do lessons, sitting on the sidelines and watching him
work his way to the black belt he is determined to earn. Or, I could
bite the bullet, realize the value in the exercise, buy myself a pair of
white pajamas, and jump right in.
Nov 23, 2011 - 3:25:38 AM
Laura on Life
Wishing Is Dangerous
This Thanksgiving, like every Thanksgiving, I tend to reflect on all the
blessings in my life. I wouldn't change my life for anything. It has
been a wonderful life, all things considering. However, it seems that
with every blessing comes a unique curse.
Nov 16, 2011 - 6:10:15 AM
Laura on Life
Dating For Nine-Year Olds
Good plan? That's a terrible plan! Girls don't want to go on a date just to kiss. You have to buy her a milkshake and take her to movies and stuff.
Nov 9, 2011 - 2:55:22 AM
Laura on Life
One Good Chair
My bedroom also doubles as my office. We do have an actual office in our house, but my husband's computer menagerie has been procreating, it seems. He collects computer parts and peripherals like some people collect stamps or coins.
Nov 2, 2011 - 4:25:06 AM
Laura on Life
It Was So Worth It
The day I envisioned, after hundreds of diaper changes and thousands of nose wipings, has finally arrived. I knew there was a reason I insisted on making him eat vegetables and clean his room.
Oct 19, 2011 - 5:30:56 AM
Laura on Life
Small World
When I was in second grade, I was in a play. I don't remember what it was called, but I do remember singing, ad nauseum, "It's A Small World After All..." for months before this play. As a result, it has been a soundtrack in my mind for the past forty years. I will never forget it. It's like having musical tinnitus.
Oct 12, 2011 - 5:40:23 AM
Laura on Life
Good Thing He's Cute
A parent's highest priority is to raise independent, contributing, law-abiding members of society. We are motivated to do so because anything less could cost us a lot of money.
Oct 5, 2011 - 12:12:08 AM
Laura on Life
What Is Not Earned, Is Not Valued
In America, every person is entitled to a public education. Whether they decide to learn anything or not is totally up to the individual. It's a free country. There are times when a 4th grader would trade it all for a chocolate chip cookie.
Sep 28, 2011 - 8:57:35 AM
Laura on Life
A Bedwetting Medal
After age five, 15% of all children still wet the bed at night. This percentage decreases as these children age until it is the same as the chances of your child winning a gold medal in the Olympics. As a mother, I don't want to focus on something that many consider to be a negative trait. I try not to focus on the sheets and blankets that need to be washed every day, the millions of pull-ups I have had to buy, the smell that has imbedded itself into the very walls of my house.
Sep 21, 2011 - 5:13:04 AM
Laura on Life
Not Ready To Drive
While the feeling of finally toilet-training the boy was still a
warm fuzzy one, I knew that it was time for yet another rite of passage.
Sep 14, 2011 - 6:05:35 AM
Laura on Life
The Child Inside Us
As a parent, you may worry whether your squirrelly, irresponsible child will become a successful adult one day. Can a child be successful as an adult if he never changes from a child into what society perceives as an adult?
Sep 11, 2011 - 12:25:54 AM
Laura on Life
How To Apologise
"Love Story" was arguably the greatest, well, love story of all time. The tagline for the movie, though, was way off. Anyone who thinks that "love means never having to say you're sorry" is bound for disappointment.
Sep 3, 2011 - 7:05:03 AM
Laura on Life
We Still Do
For us, anniversaries are not celebrated the same way birthdays are. There was no cake (we are on diets). No balloons (nobody wants their cheek muscles to explode on their anniversary). We don't give gifts (what would my husband do with another pair of socks?). Gifts are something we give each other all year long. These are gifts that are not necessarily tangible.
Sep 2, 2011 - 9:05:23 AM
Laura on Life
Learning To Speak
When you get to a certain age - it takes some of us longer than others - you have learned some basic rules of life. If these rules are not broken, your life will be less stressful. Among these rules are:
Aug 17, 2011 - 1:05:43 AM
Laura on Life
iPhone Antics
My technological whiz of a husband decided to get an iPhone 4 as soon as his contract came up for renewal a few months ago. I still have my Droid phone that was top-of-the-line when he forced it upon me last year. If he had one, then I had to have one. It was buy one, get one free. There was no sense in passing up the free one, even if I didn't want it.
Aug 13, 2011 - 1:35:45 AM
Laura on Life
Road Trip Conversation
Our most recent road trip was a ten-hour adventure which made conversation a necessity. This would have made me happy, but our conversational chops needed honing. They were rusty from lack of use.
Aug 3, 2011 - 12:27:41 AM
Laura on Life
The Neurotic Gene
"It's more likely that your pilot slept through his alarm and got stuck behind a jack-knifed tractor trailer on the freeway. It would take at least 2 hours to airlift him out, I think."
Jul 27, 2011 - 4:55:31 AM
Laura on Life
It's All In The Words
Though triple negatives make me cringe into my turtleneck, personal insults are just plain unacceptable. However, trying to dissect the statement to determine whether it was indeed an insult hurts my brain. The intent was obvious, but until I decide whether it was truly an insult, I can only correct the sentence.
Jul 22, 2011 - 12:15:23 AM
Laura on Life
The Hundred Acre Room
The little fichus tree in my imagination was replaced by a segment of tree trunk that looked like Owl's house in the Hundred Acre Wood. The difference is that tree trunks that big belong in the Hundred Acre Wood along with fat yellow bears that are addicted to honey, stuttering piglets, and stuffed donkeys who drop into a coma at the slightest provocation.
Jul 13, 2011 - 12:23:02 AM
Laura on Life
Yes, It's Ketchup!
After that event, ketchup was always at the table (my son has since learned how to spell it) and my mindless temper tantrum is always associated with the ketchup.
Jul 8, 2011 - 12:20:06 AM
Laura on Life
Orphan Opossum
Every night opossums, raccoons, neighbor dogs, and other riff raff come to our back deck to feast from our cat food buffet. Every night we chase them away.
Jul 1, 2011 - 1:25:15 PM
Laura on Life
How To Acquire A Picket Fence
"Wouldn't a nice picket fence look great across the front of our yard?" my husband asked. "Really?" It was so unlike my husband to come up with an idea that was so perfect.
Jun 24, 2011 - 12:30:20 AM
Laura on Life
Super Daddy
Mommies are great. Super, in fact. Still, there are some things that only a super daddy can fix.
Jun 15, 2011 - 12:17:35 AM
Laura on Life
Doing The Crosswords
My mom and I share a love of crossword puzzles. It's not simply the thrill of being able to complete them, but like life, it's the journey that makes it worth doing.
Jun 7, 2011 - 10:10:02 AM
Laura on Life
Strategies For Weight Loss
As anyone who has ever tried to lose weight knows, there are certain strategies involved. The strategies have nothing to do with what you eat or how many laps you run.
Jun 2, 2011 - 10:00:55 AM
Laura on Life
The Value of Money
How do you teach a kid the value of a dollar? The answer is, of course, that you must make him work for that dollar.
May 23, 2011 - 11:45:57 AM
Laura on Life
Exterminating Anomalies
My freezer is full. One would think if one has a full freezer, there would be something in there to make for dinner. So why is it that, when I open the freezer door, I can't find anything to eat? Well, when you have a full freezer, but there is nothing to eat, it is because your freezer is full of anomalies.
May 17, 2011 - 12:13:47 AM
Laura on Life
The Apocalypse Bag
For my son, the worse that can happen is that the world as we know it would come to an end for some catastrophic reason. He would have to survive without all that he was familiar with.
May 11, 2011 - 12:15:20 AM
Laura on Life
Are you Dotty?
Until you find yourself doing all of these, you have not achieved dotty status. If you have done one of these every month or so, your relatives will consider your antics a good topic for family get-togethers. If you have done all of them in one day, your relatives will consider you to be just plain bonkers.
May 5, 2011 - 12:23:33 AM
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