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L. E. Hughes

Away With Words: Monster Ceiling Fan
By L. E. Hughes
Jun 10, 2005 - 10:10:00 AM

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I was in Home Depot shopping for a bedroom light. I happened to notice an older couple just down the aisle, looking up at the selection of ceiling fans.

She was the personification of a New England lady- prim and proper. Her modest dress was buttoned up as far as the buttons would go and the little bit of lace at the top tickled her chin. She held her small purse properly in front of her at her waist, in dainty, gloved hands. Her hairdo was exactly like everyone elseís that patronizes any small town beauty shop: round. If you knocked on it Iím certain it would not move, but might echo. Iím equally as certain she must play the pipe organ in the All Souls Congregational Church downtown and pumps the pedals with those same sensible shoes.

He wore a typical mill uniform: green with a stitched nametag. His shirttails were tucked in neatly, his brown work boots were worn, but clean. Just the smallest pudge of belly showed below his brown belt.

With a voice as ladylike and sweet as Sunday morning she said, "That one looks lovely."

He took his unlit pipe out of his mouth and eyed the fan she indicated. Its blades were as wide as the Kenduskeag Stream in spring. It was obviously a fan for a large, cathedral style room, so huge it was. In all seriousness and with a bit more than a smidgen of alarm in his voice he declared, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Mother! That would suck us right out of the bed!"

I love Mainers.

L.E. Hughes is a columnist, writer and owner of Diamond Corner B&B in Stratton, Maine. She welcomes your thoughts and comments:

© June 2005 Lew-Ellyn Hughes. All Rights Reserved and Retained by the Author

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