Iím anti-American. I must be; I put the Statue of Liberty and American flag postage stamp on a bill up side down! When I noticed my disrespectful act I still could not bring myself to waste the 39 cents the government charged me to become a traitor by burning the evidence, for burning it would mean burning that same American Flag and thatíd make me a double, double-crosser.
Itís a conspiracy; I am caught in a government trap. I always go for the flower stamps; never the flag for this very reason: treason! Is admitting that another stripe against me when my choice is only meant to protect myself from my poor sense of direction? I donít even think the fact that the offending stamp is for a credit card bill will convince my accusers that I am an indebted American!
How did I get myself into the middle of this muddle?
I have no choiceÖthe bill is due from this fifth columnist so Iíll take it with itís upside down stamp to the post office and take a licking if it comes to that.
L.E. Hughes is a columnist, writer and owner of Diamond Corner B&B in Stratton, Maine. She welcomes your thoughts and comments: firstname.lastname@example.org. © February 2006, Lew-Ellyn Hughes. All Rights Reserved and Retained by the Author.