Magic City Morning Star

Forum | Wiki | Advertising | RSS Feed | About Us 

Last Updated: Jun 23, 2008 - 10:54:14 AM 

Millinocket, East Millinocket, Medway, and all of Maine!
Staff Login
Donate towards our web hosting bill!

Front Page 
  News
  -- Local
  -- State
  -- National
  Community
  -- MCAC Notes
  Business
  -- IRS News
  -- Win at Work
  -- NFIB
  -- USBIC
  Education
  -- History
  Health
  -- Psychology Now
  Tech Notes
  Entertainment
  -- Comics
  -- L. E. Hughes
  International
  -- R.P. BenDedek
  -- Kenneth Tellis
  Sports
  Outdoors
  Features
  -- D. R. Crews
  -- J. G. Fabiano
  -- James Feudo
  -- M Stevens-David
  -- Down the Road
  -- Laura on Life
  Christianity
  -- Ken Christian
  -- Mark Oaks
  Obituaries
  Today in History
  Maine Politics
  -- Tom Allen
  -- Susan Collins
  -- Michael Michaud
  -- Olympia Snowe
  Opinion
  -- Editor's Desk
  -- Guest Column
  -- It Occurs to Me
  -- Scheme of Things
  -- Sally Bouchard
  -- Thomas Brewton
  -- Bernard Chapin
  -- Stephen Crockett
  -- Greg Davis
  -- Michael Devolin
  -- Tom DeWeese
  -- Ed Feulner
  -- Kathy Gagnon
  -- Diane M. Grassi
  -- Alex Hammer
  -- Jan Herron
  -- William Jud
  -- Jim Kouri
  -- Henry Lamb
  -- Alyce Maragus
  -- Joseph J. Nugent
  -- Michael Roache
  -- Julie Smithson
  -- Nicholas Stix
  -- Paul Streitz
  -- J. Grant Swank
  -- Doug Wrenn
  -- Tony Zizza
  Letters
  Agenda 21
  Book Reviews
  -- Old Embers
  Notices
  Archive
  Discontinued


As Maine Goes
www.rockymountaintrail.com
1-800-PetMeds
HearthSong
I am responsible for my child's education.

Julie Smithson

The Hairy Reed - Satire
By Julie Kay Smithson (propertyrights@earthlink.net)
Jun 23, 2008 - 10:51:52 AM

Email this article
 Printer friendly page
The Nevada Department of Wildlife (NDOW) has received a petition to list the hairy reed as an artificial species under the Artificial Species Act of 2008 (ASA).

 

The petition was submitted by a representative of the Lake Las Vegas Deepwater Marina Authority and stated, in part, that the hairy reed is often "in over its head" when dealing with environmental issues. Baking in the Clark County summer sun is a possible habitat behavior that may be contraindicated by the species' single recognizable specimen and its tendency to inhabit a seemingly contradictory habitat: The District of Columbia.

The hairy reed may be recognized by its propensity to sway in the wind, but also has certain characteristics reminiscent of predatory plants like the Venus flytrap, opening for fresh meat and then slamming shut. Such activity usually goes on behind closed doors, so is, at best, only suspect behavior.

Sightings of this species include press conferences, photo-ops, and political events, the latter being the most probable place to successfully spot the hairy reed, especially during election years.

Whether NDOW will seriously consider listing the hairy reed as an artificial species remains a mystery. The ASA mandates that a bovine excreta study (BES) be done to determine whether the hairy reed should be listed. Several universities have, however, applied for grant funding to monitor and track the hairy reed.


© Copyright 2002-2008 by Magic City Morning Star

Top of Page

Julie Smithson
Latest Headlines
The Paulson Buffet
Just the Ticket!
The More Things Change ...
We're Watching, Too
The Vital Species Act (VSA)

Animal Den - Gift Shop for Animal Lovers!
A Dinosaur of Education - a blog by James Fabiano.
Buy Alvina's book now with PayPal
Buy The Call of Katahdin from Amazon.com
Buy Weapon in Heaven from Amazon.com
Get Published with iUniverse!
Different products for unique babies!
Save on Backpacks at Altrec Outdoors
Soda Club USA

Google
 
Web magic-city-news.com