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Jan Herron

It's Time to Send the Crocodiles to the US-Mexican Border!
By Jan Herron
Jun 10, 2006 - 4:49:00 PM

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The recent tragic deaths in Florida by man-eating crocodiles has revealed a potential tool to aid in achieving security on the US-Mexico border. While "my heart breaks for" Florida families who lost loved ones to these vicious reptiles, those deaths may not be in vain. These reptiles can play an essential part in protection of what little US sovereignty remains.

Our President (with the agreement of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger) has now decided to send UNARMED National Guard to our porous borders. The "George Bush Party Line" is that the National Guard will act in "support roles" to our heroic men and women employed by the US Border Patrol. "Support roles" means performing administrative work, shuffling paperwork, building roadblocks, some landscaping, etc.? That's a "croc" if I've ever heard one!

Manning our borders with crocodiles is a very cost effective solution to our problem with the daily invasion of illegal alien invaders. Just move 15-foot crocodiles to the Rio Grande to stop the constant illegal alien invasion. No fence would be needed, and I'm sure the Minutemen would welcome their presence.

The President and the 62 traitors (otherwise known as US Senators) who voted YES on SB2611 wouldn't dare object to this solution. We would avoid "offending" the Mexicans and Vicente Fox with National Guard military uniforms because crocodiles would not bear arms. Best of all, the President can't call crocodiles "vigilantes" because animal-rights defenders like PETA would object.

Crocodiles would eliminate the vast mountains of trash dumped on US soil when illegal alien squatter-invaders discard dirty diapers, used sanitary napkins and other toxic debris. I'm sure Al Gore and the other tree-huggers would appreciate this environmentally sound proposal.

Crocodiles at the border would help the Border Patrol by reducing the number of illegal aliens to apprehend. Border Patrol agents' work is dangerous, offers relatively low pay, and they deserve all the help we can give them.

Crocs at the border is a great solution. They will be unarmed, they don't need a lounge chair, a cell phone or even a pair of binoculars.

Make the Rio Grande a "Boca Grande with con dientes" (big mouth with teeth) and let's see how many illegal aliens reply to Jorge Boosh's call to arms. "Hell, if they'll walk across Big Bend, we want 'em."

(1) "Boy Genius: Karl Rove, the Brains Behind the Remarkable Political Triumph of George W. Bush," Lou Dubose, Jan Reid & Carl Cannon; Perseus Books.

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