We had wanted a black baby.

When the time came for talking to the social worker, we were introduced to the option of adopting a multi-racial newborn. We only cared for God's will in caring for a baby. So in waiting for nine months, we received the call that there was a precious multi-racial baby boy in need of a home.

We were so delighted that when we saw the child at the social worker's office, we wanted to take the baby home "for keeps." But the rule was that we had the baby for overnight, then brought him back to the social worker's office for a 2-day think-through on our part.

Apparently some adoptive parents make rash decisions and then change their minds, only to confuse the process. So we followed the rules and then finally had Jay Grant Swank as our own.

We gave him my name by using my first initial J. for Joseph as his first name-Jay.

We pastored a church in the Hudson Valley, New York State. And we had not told anyone in the church about our plans except family. So when we walked through the parsonage front door with this tiny one in our arms, the ladies were stunned.

A women's Bible study had been gathering in our parsonage living room while we were away at the social worker's office. So we scheduled it to walk in to surprise them in the middle of their study.

Being a sociology major at Eastern Nazarene College, I was now interested in writing my own informal sociological study of what it was like to be a white couple adopting a multi-racial child; therefore, I bought a five-and-dime notebook to jot down my observations, especially negative ones. As years passed, I did not write down one note.

I had expected various negative reactions from our predominantly white village and white congregation. However, I never was aware of any such reactions, hence the blank notebook.

When Jay was tiny, I recall placing him for his afternoon nap on my tummy. He just laid there. It was beyond words. Such a fantastic pleasure in having this new life in my own life. I looked at him sleeping and then I looked at him again. I never tired in caring for him.

Both my wife and I changed diapers, bottle fed the baby, and washed his clothes. We both did everything together. There was no separation of the female doing this or that and the male doing something else. We considered that gender really had nothing to do with bringing up a child, that is, taking care of the errand parts of the situation.

Even today when caring for our grandchildren, the same policy holds. I do whatever needs to be done. My wife does whatever needs to be done. It always works.

As Jay grew, I grew with him. The journey was exceptional. I had all sorts of dreams for his future. And I knew that his life would be surrounded by family prayer, Scripture, and the hope of every Christian. We were so fortunate to have congregations in various locations that loved Jay as well.

Further, we had an older child, daughter Crystal. Then after Jay was brought into our home, Heidi Jo was born. So we have been particularly fortunate with three splendid children.

As years passed with an adopted child, other parents apparently were encouraged to reach out to adopt a youngster. So it was that over time we had a unique community of friends who shared stories of rearing an adopted son or daughter.

Today Jay is a grown man, well educated, married to a minister's daughter and a fine father to his children. What is most important to my wife and me is that Jay is a stalwart Christian believer. His particular interest is biblical evangelism. In his local church, he is at the front in working with other young couples in searching out the scriptural guide for Christian parenting.

Sometimes others ask me if adopting a child is a risk. My reply is always the same. One takes risks in bringing any child into one's life-adopted or biological. I know some adopted children who have given grief to their adoptive parents. Likewise, I know of some biological children who have given grief to their biological parents.

In other words, I know my theology well enough to understand that every mortal has a free will. And that free will makes daily choices that are good or bad. So go figure. The adoptive child uses his or her free will to live a positive existence or negative influence. So with biological children.

It is all in the free will choices.

I am thankful that Jay is making free will choices, not only in keeping with his adoptive family, but in line with God's expectations. May that continue for life.

J. Grant Swank Jr.
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Read: http://jgrantswankjr.blogspot.com