I just participated in my 30th graduation ceremony. Staring into the rows of graduates dressed in red and black ropes, my mind wandered into the concept of how high school graduations represent the last of the concept of a right of passage. In our technological world the idea of many rights of passage throughout a lifetime seems to have evaporated with the concept of a land-line phone.

In the past there were many times in one's life that could be defined as a right of passage. One's confirmation, Bar Mitzvahs, debutante balls, weddings, and retirement used to be important times in a lifetime. These times have diluted into times of memories.

Confirmation used to be important in the Christian world. At least the old Christian world. My confirmation came with a large party filled with relatives I knew most of my life, some of my life, and some I had no clue as to who they were. I remember thinking that after the ceremony at the church I would be awash in spiritual thoughts. Needless to say as soon as I got out of my white suit I found some friends and played some baseball.

In my life I've attended one Bar Mitzvah. In fact it was really a Bots Mitzvah, which is the female Bar Mitzvah. The ceremony was long and intricate. My niece stood in front of about 50 people in order to celebrate the concept of a girl becoming a woman. I remember the rabbi, with other rabbis, walking through the temple holding the Torah. Each person kissed the corner of the large scroll but they passed our row of people. I assume it had something to do with me having been confirmed.

As little as I knew about the Jewish traditions I know less about debutante balls. This is probably because I am not wealthy. I've seen movies showing what these balls are supposed to be. They are also called coming out parties. As many thing evolve the concept of coming out has little to do with a ball.

I've been invited to many weddings in my life. The bride's family sat on one side of the church while the groom's family sat on the other side. I assume this represents the fact that as soon as the wedding and reception is over few members of either family will ever see each other again. Actually the separation reminded me of a Shakespearian tragedy of feuding families. Of course, everyone hoped this ceremony would not end in a death even though over 50% end up in divorce. At the reception the men were found surrounding the bar while the women were in clusters talking about things they had already talked about days before.

Retirement use to be considered a right of passage. A man or woman would work 45 - 50 years of their lives to finally be able to retire at the age of 65. Throughout their lives they would dream about retiring around a lake or in front of an ocean contemplating nothing more important than themselves. In reality, this supposed right of passage is going the way of the 401K. Most of us have to work well into our 70's even though it would hopefully be part-time in order to retain the life style we had before we retired. My father is still working and he is now into his 9th decade.

Basically the only real right of passage left is a high school graduation. These young men and women have known exactly where they would be come September for 13 out of the 18 years of life. They knew exactly who their friends would be, what courses they would take, and who their teachers would be. These students would perpetually complain about these years praying that the day they left the school would happen soon. Then the day of graduation arrives and most feel a sadness of what they are about to leave. Most are either going to colleges, military, work, or even marriage. They all know they are about to leave a life that is consistent and secure. They are about to begin adventures of their future and are about to witness exactly what their futures are. So, in other words, the graduation of high school is the last of our society's true right of passage.

Staring into the rows of graduates dressed in red and black ropes, my mind wandered into the concept of how high school graduations represented the last of their rights of passage. I simply wish them the best and hope they all have a wonderful job of becoming.

Jim Fabiano is a teacher and writer living in York, Maine
Maine Publisher's Association Best weekly column award for 2004
Email Jim: james.fabiano60@gmail.com