Having traveled around the world visiting close to 20 countries and having lectured and consulted men and women from different cultures, I can say that I have not met anyone in any part of this planet who, deep down in his or her heart, does not want a happy lasting relationship. They may have their doubts and fear. But given the chance, they all want to love and be loved.
Failing in marriage is like failing in a business or in a competitive sports. You may not have gotten it right the first time but it is silly to throw in the towel without figuring out and learning what mistakes were made and how to improve in the future.
The problem is that many people develop a fear of marriage.
Steve G is a medical consultant in the bio-technology field for large hospitals in the Brooklyn NY area. He has been working in this field for over 10 years and has a stable 5 figure income every month. He has 2 children in college and both are outstanding in their studies. He owns a house in a Brooklyn suburb and has everything he needs to live comfortably. But when asked about a dream that he has not yet achieved, Steve said wistfully, "I'd like to have a happy lasting marriage." Steve has been divorced for 14 years. After his divorce, he dated cautiously. "I don't want to jump into marriage without making sure that person in front is the absolute right one" he told me.
His longest serious dating relationship lasted 6 years and he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend over petty quarrels. After that, he fell in love again, but the relationship did not continue because of one factor: his marriage "phobia."
"I kept on holding myself back though I knew she was the right one. She brought up the M word several times and I kept on giving her all kinds of excuses. She had no choice but to move on. All my serious dates moved on." Steve remarked.
Steve's story is all too typical. It is sad to see many lovebirds get separated because one or both sides are afraid of marriage. Some individuals take years to overcome their marriage phobia. But once they conquer it and they gain confidence in the new relationship, they are always happy.
I have helped over 100 men and women who had lost hope in marriage or were afraid due to past heartbreaks. I prescribe "relationship knowledge." I have helped many people, have written 25 books on love and relationships and do 'love workships' to help people.
What do men want? What do women want? What are the traps to avoid? If you know the needs and wants of both sides and you know how to avoid the pot holes and stay in love no matter what, then you will be a winner in your marriage.
Matchmaker of the Century.com
- My next Love Seminar will be held in Los Angeles on September 6.
Hellen Chen works in family, marriage and personal development and has featured in over 200 media publications in 20 countries. She is a frequent guest on independent and network radio and TV shows on FOX, CBS, NBC and ABC. She is a three-times #1 bestselling author, and has written 25 books on the subject of love and relationships. She has also delivered "love workshops" for singles and married individuals around the world. Her new love seminar will be held in Los Angeles on September 6. Call 800-912-0510 or visit http://MatchmakerOfTheCentury.com for more information.