New. New Year, new schedule, new place to live, new wife, that’s how I started this New Year. I started this article a couple of weeks ago as part of “the new”, but a week or so was spent moving from my apartment to my fiancé’s house. Well my wife’s house as of December 30th. One of the many benefits for me of “marrying up.”
So this is my plan, to get up at the same time as she does, 5:00 AM (we’ll see how long that lasts) make coffee, shower, get dressed for school, eat, then leave soon after she does. But I don’t take as long to get ready, so I will have some more time. My plan is to use these early (awful for me) hours to write. I will either journal or work on articles, something, but I will try to start my day by getting the mind working by writing. So here I am working the plan and it’s been working so far.
Side note: I would have had more time to write this morning, except I tripped coming up the stairs, coffee in hand, and spilled it all over the landing. I’ve been making it a point to take my new wife coffee while she was getting ready and when I returned to fill her second cup she told me she knew why I was being so nice. “You know that sooner or later you are going to make a mess and then you will remind me of all the nice things you do for me.” I hadn’t thought of that, honest. But she’s right; I do make messes. Too bad I hadn’t built up more of a track record of morning coffee delivery. Her response, as she was sipping the coffee I had made and brought to her and as I was mopping the stairs, was “I knew you would mess up, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.” Then she smiled that smile, gave me a hug and a kiss and all was right with the world. You’ll have to excuse me. We’re still in the “new” of being newlyweds.
There’s got to be a point here somewhere. Perhaps in the word new. There have been so many new things in the last few weeks. Or maybe firsts would fit. One thing I have noticed is the unrealness of it all. I notice the weight of the gold ring on my left hand, I find myself looking at it often and it seems so strange. It is not that I haven’t worn a wedding ring before, but that was thirteen years ago. I’d worn a ring on my left hand, third finger, for 12 years prior to that. So there has been plenty of time to get un-used to wearing a wedding band. These first things, these new things, have been happening since the last Friday in ’05 when I married my best friend.
We’ve commented on how strange or unreal it all seems. Example, a couple of nights ago I actually set out some things so that I would remember to take them to my apartment with me when I went home. But I WAS home and I didn’t have to leave to go to my place, which was what I had done. We weren’t living together, that wasn’t an option for either of us, and so I would go home. But I didn’t have to go home, because I was already there. It won’t take me long to get used to that.
A lot of the patterns we have developed will stay the same, like I do most of the cooking since I get home before she does. I will still do my own laundry and she will do hers. I’ve got my way of doing my clothes and she feels the same about her stuff. Our friends will be the same; work will be the same. But I will be getting up earlier and going to bed earlier and there will be other adjustments. But my guess is that even the old patterns won’t be exactly the same because we are married. And even though it is a good thing, it will take some getting used to.
That is why I’ve been trying to make the new in this new situation work for me by trying to start some new habits, I’m writing while she is getting ready for work. It’s just coincidental that this is starting at the beginning of the New Year. This is not a New Year’s resolution. Like most people I’ve had little success with those. I’m going to have to call this something else. The only New Years resolution I can remember ever keeping is those years I resolved to make no “NYRs”. (I guess if I did keep the resolution not to make a resolution, then I did keep the resolution I didn’t make. It’s way too early to deal with that kind of thinking).
Point – with all the new in my life, why not use the opportunity to start some new habits that will help me accomplish things that weren’t getting done and that I really wanted to do. Not to mention the continuing work of building a solid, growing relationship.
So what do you have new in your life? What comfortable things do you need to look at in a new way? Planning any “firsts” for this New Year? Wanting to breath some new life into old, but valuable patters? Before we get too far into this New Year that might be something to consider.
Just a note and I will comment on it more in the months to come. I haven’t made any contributions to Magic City Morning Star for months. On June 17th of 2005 my youngest son, Joel, was killed in a car accident. He was seventeen. I will be writing about this when I’m ready. I know that I don’t have to explain my absence from this column. But getting back to writing is a good step and the time seems to be right.
Even though I’m not into “NYRs” there is something freeing, exciting about starting something new. I know the “new” wears off anything so you have to work to keep it fresh. I know that this year will bring its’ share of trouble, that’s just the way life is and I’m deluding myself to think otherwise.
So, what ever is new in life, make the most of it. That’s my plan. I’m starting this New Year being married to my best friend. And I’m starting it without my son who I miss beyond words. Like I said, make the new work for you, the good and the painful. Make the most of all of it. I’m sure there’s something new in your life, even if you have to look at the old in a new way. Anyway, that’s my plan and the closest thing you’re going to get to an “NYR” from me.
Greg Davis, E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org