Not sure exactly why I thought of that line, or why my mind connected it to an article I was reading at the gym. As my arms and legs were working away on an elliptical trainer, I read an article about a guy who was questioning why he was working out so much. As he got older, he questioned the time he was spending at the gym. At the end of his time there, he hadn’t built a better widget. The time was all about him. He was questioning what he was chasing. He knew that keeping in shape would keep him on the radar of women. (Not enough hours in the day to help me out there). But he also knew that whatever he accomplished would be gone in a short time if he didn’t keep at it. That is all too true. (I still haven’t made it back to where I was before a four-month absence from the gym last year.)

The writer couldn’t have imagined his father going to the gym. There was just too much to do. My father was the same way. He was always working, always had a project. He came home from work and worked. The writer’s father had told him that when he noticed that his pants were getting a little tight he just ate less for a while. Simple.

My mental response to the article was, “But I’m more productive if I’m healthy. Going to the gym helps me to stay healthy. I feel sharper. I feel better about myself when I’m going to the gym on a regular basis.” And that’s fine as long as I am able keep it all in perspective. If I only feel good when I look good, then I’ll never feel good. This will be even truer when I reach the big “FIVE-O,” in a little over a year from now. I’ve never had rock hard abs and I never will. Pick any muscle group at this point in my life and, well . . . it ain’t gonna’ happen. And even if it did, it would just take too much time and too much energy, commodities I’m putting a much higher value on now than I did ten years ago and certainly twenty.

So, what about the gaps? How does that connect with working out? I’m getting to the point in my life where I realize that some of them are there and they are going to be there, and to some extent, I’m OK with that. But there are a few gaps I would like to fill. (I’m working on one of them right now, writing.) I think many of the gaps in my life are there because I’ve been too cautious. At this point in my life, win or lose, succeed or fail, whatever results from what I try, won’t be what fills the gaps. The gaps would be filled, for the most part, before the points were added or the evaluation written or the applause faded. Just by the attempt, climbing out on a limb, saw in hand, would do it. I could try something completely new or out of character for me, or I could take something I enjoy but have never done much with and push it out into the arena.

I’ll continue to go to the gym. I’ll do what I can, but I won’t obsess over it. I may be a little late in dealing with some of my mid-life gaps. But my dad had a favorite saying, one that used to bug the heck out of me every time he said it – usually because he was trying to challenge me and push me out of my comfort zone: “Son, you’ll never learn it any younger.” Nope, I won’t.

The house lights have dimmed.  I’m on my mark. The curtain will rise. Wait that line would have worked when I was just out of college, not now. How about this? The curtain has risen for the third act. I’ve just had walk-ons for the first two, but for the third act, I’m stepping into the spotlight of center stage. That’s better.

Got gaps? I certainly do. There are a couple I’d like to fill. Will it happen? Don’t know, but it is worth the effort. And it sure beats just waiting in the wings for the curtain call.

Greg Davis teaches vocal music at two elementary schools in Pleasanton, California. E-mail: gregd101@earthlink.net