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Last Updated: Sep 10, 2014 - 2:08:00 AM 

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What Kind of Happiness Do You Want?
By Hellen Chen
Sep 5, 2014 - 12:10:22 AM

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Some people very much desire marriage, but they only consider marriage in its material aspect. They weigh all the pros and cons of their potential partners. This is actually a serious problem.

Honestly, if you really have tremendous desire to marry into an affluent family and strive to better yourself to achieve this goal, you are not wrong -- as long as you think you will be happy that way. This is a matter of personal choice -- there is no right or wrong.

However, some people's marriage dreams are overly material-oriented. They hope their partners have high academic qualifications, have nice cars and houses. Some ladies want to marry a handsome guy who is at least 6 feet tall.

These people work hard to achieve these goals, yet they feel that something is wrong, thinking 'this is not what I really want'. Such a mindset shows that these people are only going after the 'comfortable life.'

What is living a 'good' comfortable life? Some people may think not having to work, living a life of leisure, having servants, etc, means this is a 'good' life. Others think having an obedient husband that listens to their every need makes for a good life. Is this really a 'good' life or a falsehood? Actually these are all false illusions!

We have seen such people with 'good lives' -- they are not happy at all. The most intriguing part is that these people will admit they have a 'good life' but say that they are not happy!

Therefore, whatever dream you wish to attain, it must be based on whether you will feel happy and exhilarated! With the example of those who strive to marry into an affluent family, we can see that some people are happy, but there are also plenty of others that are unhappy or get divorced. In this case, the unhappiness because of marrying into a rich family is to a certain degree the same as the unhappiness of marrying a poor guy. Are you considering happiness as one of the more important factor in your marriage dream? If so, you should not be so material-oriented, thus making your dream so far-fetched beyond your reach.

This reasoning is very simple, very scientific, and very easy to think with.

Even if you lay down the following requirements for your ideal spouse -- possessing three houses, earning more than one million dollars a year, looking like the handsome movie star, and so on -- what happens when you meet the person with all those qualities? Will you be satisfied? Will you be happy?

After examining every single question, ask yourself if the materialistic items are what you really want. And what do you really want? You will definitely know the answer.

Hellen Chen
Matchmaker of the

  • My next Love Seminar will be held in Los Angeles on September 6.

Hellen Chen works in family, marriage and personal development and has featured in over 200 media publications in 20 countries. She is a frequent guest on independent and network radio and TV shows on FOX, CBS, NBC and ABC. She is a three-times #1 bestselling author, and has written 25 books on the subject of love and relationships. She has also delivered "love workshops" for singles and married individuals around the world. Her new love seminar will be held in Los Angeles on September 6. Call 800-912-0510 or visit  for more information.

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