I Survived So Can You by Lisa M. Sobry is a compilation of stories by women in North America who have survived losing a loved one, attempted suicides, mental and physical abuse, and date rape. They submitted their stories in hopes that the reader would understand they are not alone in their struggles, that someone else has suffered, and survived what they may have gone through, and that anyone can find help regardless of the situation they may find themselves in.
Their words are from the heart--filled with anguish, loss, love, determination as well as the strength to survive.
The Comments section after each story is based on information provided by the author. At the back of the book is a Resources section that provides relevant organizations' contact information for anyone wishing to leave an abusive relationship.
When I released my first book, I Survived, which is my story of surviving various forms of abuse, I noticed my clientele changed from those who were beginning their spiritual path to those who had been abused and didn't even know where to start healing themselves. It started with phone conversations and emails about my book, then moved to clients booking appointments because a friend had read my book; today I provide one on one spiritual counseling and life coaching sessions.
Over the years I have found clients need someone to hear their story more than anything. But that someone needs to listen and not judge the type of life the client has lived because of the abuse they have survived. I am that someone. I have walked in the proverbial abused shoes, survived; found my sense of self, self-confidence and self-esteem. This alone encourages clients to begin their own healing journeys. I survived and live a happy successful life, so they can too.
I never tell a client what to do, ever! I will ask them what they think they need to do to change their current life situation and stress the importance of the only person they can change is themselves. So often women that have been abused become submissive and people pleasers. They will do whatever they need to "to keep the peace" and avoid confrontation. Because of this, they allow themselves to be abused mentally and don't understand why "this keeps happening to me."
By encouraging them to evaluate their life situations they begin to find their own patterns of why this keeps happening to them. I have created and apply a 3A's technique with all my clients and have found the results to be astonishing. The 3A's are acknowledge, accept and take action.
Here's a brief synopsis of the 3A's.
First of all a client needs to acknowledge that there is a problem or situation. Once they've acknowledged they can then move on to acceptance. Accept, is the second stage. This is the most difficult step for clients. They have to accept that they are where they are in their lives because they have allowed themselves to be there. Finally, Act: Take action. There is always an action required for clients to move forward even if it means learning how to just let things go with the action of letting go.
Once clients have established their 3As they begin to heal, they begin to change their lives and find their personal power. Group session seem to have the most power because other women share their stories of abuse, surviving and success. They talk about their struggles and the tools they used to move through them. Some use books, counseling, empowerment CD's and DVD's, others connect with friends, exercise or spend quality time with family. Each client is unique in their own healing process. It's because of this unique healing process I have created a workbook designed to help clients heal on a daily basis.
It's comforting to know that someone else has suffered similarly and that you are not alone. That is the biggest reason I write. By sharing my stories and other women's stories people know that they are not alone. The degree of abuse may not be as bad as theirs or it might be worse but they know that they are not going crazy, that there are resources out there to help them move forward and that other women have done just that.
Lisa M. Sobry
About the Author
Lisa M. Sobry has studied psychology and social work and implements the techniques she's learned in her life as well as in her writing. Sobry is a certified life coach, past life regressionist, reiki master, medium, and angel card reader. She facilitates workshops and retreats and publicly speaks about her books and abuse throughout North America.
"I Survived, So Can You"
By Lisa M. Sobry
Available at: Amazon, Balboa and Barnes and Noble online bookstores