Smart Seniors
No 1
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There
was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering,
then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is
marked 'NO REPEATS."
No. 2
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he
insisted that his son,a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he
was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't
be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go
well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live
with you and your wife...."
Smart Youngsters
The Winter Boots.
Did
you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her reception class
pupils put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even
with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to
go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a
sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher,
they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. It
wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She
managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots
back on, this time on the correct feet.
He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'
She
bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why
didn't you say so? ' like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to
help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear 'em.'
Now
she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what
grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'
'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots' he replied.
She will be eligible for parole in three years.
Smart Security
Israel's new Airport Security
The Israelis are developing an airport security
device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body
scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you
but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.
Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone.
Accusations of racial-profiling will be non existent.
It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.
You're in the airport terminal, and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement:
"Attention to all standby passengers: El Al has a seat availability on flight 670 to London. Shalom!"
Just for a Laugh Series - 2011
Posted by R.P. BenDedek
Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com
Jokes come from a variety of sources and rarely acknowledge the source material or author.
