T.D. Polo-Sanchez' letters to his brother in America -
pasteurized somewhat for Magic City Readers
Heaven is hi, hell is low fellow uncivilized foreigner
One teacher told me that the Chinese driving test is harder that the one in the U.S. I am skeptical. I do know that the the Chinese test is longer. I know this because when he gets into his car he checks the mirror and guages, and when he gets out he checks the hood and under the tires.
A couple of weeks ago I went to visit a nearby town on the bus. As we left the station the other drivers made fun of my driver because it was just him and I on an empty bus. In China nothing is empty for too long and later the bus became full. The most interesting part, actually a fine line between fun and danger, was the driver's multi-tasking skills. He smoked, talked on his cellphone, talked to the other passengers, cleaned the windows, drank tea and still had enough skill to not hit the rails on a modern six lane highway. In the rest of the world a menace to society, but in China he would be a saftey instructor.
The only thing worse than losing a Super Bowl bet is to be hit by a woman. It happened to me twice. I thought I had gotten better at my bartering with merchants- not so. I went to buy a jacket for the freezing temperature- this global warming thing. I tried to haggle a jacket from 380 to 300 Renminbi. The female owner of the store hit my wrist pretty hard and said,''You Westerners make a lot of money. This is very cheap.'' I told her that Chinese teachers make little money, and I don't make much more. ''I'll give you 320 for the jacket,'' I said.
This time the second slam on my shoulder and a lot harder. ''This is very cheap of good quality,'' she replied. The owner looked angry, but in Chinese society a merchant looking angry only means ''Sorry but I need to keep this to sell to a bigger idiot.'' Confucius had a very low opinion of merchants. I don't blame him.
I have a friend who told me that his dream is to date a Western woman. He feels that his accent is his major obstacle. He is a tall good looking Chinese doctor. I told him look, Bruce Lee had an accent but that did not stop him from marrying a woman from San Francisco. Just focus on your communication skills and on your qualifications. He should learn some Kung-Fu, and that will reel them in. Some day he can break a bone and mend it at the same time. Bruce Lee could not do that.
Today one teacher told me ''Please go to class 11. You know the one after 10.'' Thanks for reminding me, Westerners forget stuff like that all the time.
T. D. Polo-Sanchez
Assembled in the United States from parts made in Mexico and exported to China, T.D. Polo-Sanchez has taken a year of absence from his post at an American high school to teach Oral English in China.
He hopes that you enjoy his posts and remember that he writes with a deep love and affinity to the Chinese people. In this world while we laugh at others and at ourselves, we laugh together. T.D. Polo-Sanchez Email: eslinstructor33@yahoo.com
