(T.D. Polo-Sanchez' letters to his brother in America -
pasteurized somewhat for Magic City Readers.)
Cultural norms of humor do not always add up when you translate them from one to the other, or just practically what one considers funny.
Case in point, some of the teachers here play volleyball twice a week. They are older men with varying degrees of hair loss and diminishing height. One of my students told me, in kind of a whisper hoping the walls did not have ears, that at school those teachers have a nick-name: 'The Mediterranean Bald Men's Sports Club.' It took me one week to figure this one out.
The eight Chinese rules of the road:
1. Look both ways before you cross a street.
2. On a scooter or bicycle the operator must wear a helmet.
3. It is illegal to transport children under the age of five or have more than two people ride a scooter or bicycle.
4. Do not drive or take a vehicle of any kind against traffic.
5. Look before you make a turn.
6. Obey all street signs.
7. Be courteous and let cars ease in and out of lanes.
8. We were just joking about the first 7 rules.
It's really a jungle out here. The Chinese all want cars now. So if you think gasoline is expensive, wait until 1.3 billion Chinese start buying more cars.
October 1-8 is the Autumn Festival. National Day is October 1st. National Day is the anniversary of the birth of communist China. A military parade is staged and the leaders step out into the lime light and clap on T.V. Sometimes they point at the cadre of soldiers that pass by them and talk to each other saying something like this: "Did you see the one second from the left in the third column whose foot was 2 centimeters too high. I want him at half-rations for a month."
National Day ends with a big dinner and the eating of moon cakes. From the description I was given the cakes are made with flour, bean curd, and sugar. From the taste the thing was sugar, sugared bean curd, and sugar flour. The whole week is given off to the students and staff- never mind that we had to work ten days straight before the vacation. I went fishing and visited a couple of smaller towns near by.
I was walking in town to see fires all over the place. Maybe the citizens were staging a revolution. They were burning thin strips of papers to send money to the dead on the other side. The other purpose was to scare off evil spirits with fire. In almost very house, a shrine exists usually with pictures of those who have past on, interesting.
I was taken by a group of teachers to a night out on the town. After a night of eating we went over to the local karaoke bar for some after dinner entertainment. The karaoke bars are the 21st century Chinese opium dens.
Karaoke is an addiction, Asia wide as I understand, and I had to listen for 3 hours. Everything from the immortal "One Night in Beijing", to "You are my Super Star", and who can forget the number one hit "No more hurt, no more cry". To be modern, some songs are laced with a few words of English. The music is more like 1980s pop and soft rock. Others are computer techno rock. A few artists do have talent like Faye Wang and some guy named Johnny Chou.
I am glad that I am able to facilitate and advance the English speaking abilities of the Chinese students. A couple of boys went out to the balcony of their building and called me an S.O.B. before they melted back into the mass of of Chinese humanity. I could never pick them out from a police line-up. I am glad to be the center of such cultural exchange.
The national drink in China is called Baijiu. It is a distilled liquor made from Sorghum. If you can remember the worst liquor you have ever tasted, this is worse than that. If you need a couple of bottles of this stuff for use as a weed killer please let me know.
Mark Twain's advice: "Travel is the cure for ignorance."
T. D. Polo-Sanchez
Assembled in the United States from parts made in Mexico and exported to China, T.D. Polo-Sanchez (pseudonym) has taken a year of absence from his post at an American high school to teach Oral English in China.
He hopes that you enjoy his posts and remember that he writes with a deep love and affinity to the Chinese people. In this world while we laugh at others and at ourselves, we laugh together. T.D. Polo-Sanchez Email: eslinstructor33@yahoo.com
