Entertainment
Just to cheer up your day!
By Unknown Original Authors
Jun 28, 2008 - 9:02:22 PM

My life of late has been one pain after another. I'm worn out!  I appreciated Judith's intent on cheering me up and giving me a laugh. I hope you get a laugh too.  rpbendedek@hotmail.com

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb,
had been friends all of their lives.

When it was clear that Rose was dying,
Barb visited her every day. One day Barb
said, "Rose, we both loved playing women's
softball all our lives, and we played all
through High School. Please do me one favor...

When you get to Heaven, somehow you must
let me know if there's women's soft-ball there."

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed
and said, "Barb, you've been my best friend for
many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor
for you." Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

At midnight a few nights later, Barb was awakened
from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light
and a voice calling out to her, "Barb, Barb."

"Who is it ?" aske d Barb, sitting up suddenly.
"Who is it?"

"Barb -- it's me, Rose."

"You're not Rose. Rose just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Rose," insisted the voice.

"Rose! Where are you?"

"In Heaven," replied Rose. "I have some really
good news....... and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Barb.

"The good news," Rose said, "is that there's Softball
In Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died
before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young
again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never
rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all
we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," said Barb. "It's beyond my wildest
dreams! So what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."

A True 'Love' Story.

The love story of Ralph and Edna. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Sharp Shooting Policeman

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

A: 'Yes sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes sir'

Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.