When it becomes illegal, immoral or uncivilized to laugh, then you know you no longer live in the 'land of the free'! - R.P. BenDedek (www.kingscalendar.com ) From received emails with no indication of the identification of the original author/s.

Can you get married in Heaven?

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. They find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked that. Let me go and find out,' and he leaves.

The couple sit and wait, and wait. Two months pass and the couple is still waiting. As they wait, they discuss that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.

'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered. 'Are we stuck together forever?'

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'

'Great!' says the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Can we also get a divorce in Heaven?'

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' ask the frightened couple.

'OH, COME ON!' St. Peter shouts, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?'

Entering the Kingdom

A ringer from a huge cattle station in outback Australia appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the ringer offered. "Once, on a trip to the backblocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales, I came across a gang of bikies, who were threatening a young shiela (woman). I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.

I yelled, "Now, back off! Or I'll kick the daylights out of the lot of ya's!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago..."