Honestly folks, I don't write these. I just post them for your amusement. Have a laugh, it will do you good! R.P. BenDedek (www kingscalendar com) Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com
The Female Genie...
While trying to escape through Pakistan , Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one wish?"
Osama responded," You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything."
The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."
Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said,
"Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you.
"The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.
The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Nancy Pelosi at his side.
His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.
God is good.
How Politicians can make us happy!
Rudd , Gillard and Swan (Australian Politicians) are flying on the Executive Airbus to a gathering in Canberra when Rudd turns to Gillard and says, chuckling,'You know, I could throw a $1000 bill out the window right now and make someone very happy .'
Gillard shrugs and replies, 'Well, I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten people happy.'
Not to be outdone, Swan says, 'Well I could throw a hundred $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people happy.'
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, 'Such arrogant jerks back there. Heck, I could throw all three of them out the window and make 21 million people happy.'
The Predictable 'Tiger Woods' Jokes
What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
That’s the first time Tiger Woods has failed to drive 300 yards
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree ... he couldn't decide between a wood and an iron. Perhaps Tiger should have used a driver
I find it's a nightmare driving at 2.05am: sometimes you can't see the Woods for the trees.
Tiger's wife went for him after he scored a birdie.
What was the second worst part of Tiger's car accident? The police found the driver in the trunk.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
For an article on Tiger Woods read J. Grant Swank's Tiger Woods slugs women years back
