I just applied for planning permission for a new-build house. It was going to be 100ft tall and 400ft wide with nine turrets at various heights and windows all over the place. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green.

The council told me to I would never get permission to build it. So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque.

Building work starts on Monday.

Elephant's Memory - A Touching Story

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Psalm 2009 - FIRST BOOK OF CURRENT AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT

Rudd is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Labor party...
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am Australian.
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog
And Rudd was a tree...
Amen.

Posted by R.P. Bendedek

www kingscalendar com

Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com