The Scottish Cow
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. The town
folk found that they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply so, they
brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, it
produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.
Then they bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so
they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the
bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount
the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.
"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away" they told
him. 'If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he
approaches her from the front, she backs off and if he attempts it from
the one side, she walks away to the other side."
The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:
"My wife is from Scotland."
Dancing to a Different Tune
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a
tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in
town, to clear his parched throat.
|Original Source and Artist unknown|
He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and
clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one
hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance... never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you
old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's
The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.
Everybody standing around was laughing.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still
laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.
The silence was deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman
stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12gauge
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said;
"Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir... but...but I've always wanted to."
There are a few lessons for all of us here:
*Don't be arrogant.
*Don't waste ammunition.
*Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
*Always make sure you know who is in control.
*And finally, don't screw around with old folks; they didn't get old by being stupid.
I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?
Just for a Laugh' Series
Posted by R.P. BenDedek
Provided by readers from an unknown original sources.