From a variety of unknown Original Authors come these gems on Women, Men, and Old Age. We've all been there or know someone who has. So Enjoy! Laugh a Little! It's good for your health!
Old Age Vision Impairment
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking 'Surely I can't look that old?'
My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his Dental Diploma on the wall, and it had his full name. Suddenly I remembered a tall handsome dark haired boy with the same name from my secondary school some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy I had a secret crush on way back then? I quickly discarded that thought when I saw him. He was a balding grey haired man with a deeply lined face and was far too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park Secondary School.
'Yes! Yes I did! I'm a Morganner!' he beamed with pride.
'When did you leave to go to college?' I asked.
'1965! Why do you ask?' he replied.
With a smile on my face I exclaimed: 'You were in my class!'
He then looked at me very closely.
Then that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat assed, grey haired, decrepit, S.O.B. asked: 'What did you teach?'
Alcohol Abuse Lecture
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies,"I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body". The officer then asks,"Really? Who is giving that kind of lecture at this time of night?" The man replies,"My wife."
The Joys of Manhood
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Apparently I'm still lost.... it's a man thing.
'Just for a Laugh' Series
Posted by R.P. BenDedek
Provided by readers from an unknown original sources.