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Entertainment

Failed Proofreading and Other Questions
By Editorial Staff
Apr 6, 2012 - 7:02:23 AM

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These gems sent in from unknown original sources just to brighten up your weekend.

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

I called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!

They put in a correction the next day. I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.

  • Really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

  • Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

  • What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

  • No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

  • See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace

  • I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

  • Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

  • Who would have thought!

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

  • They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

  • You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

  • He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

  • Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

  • That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

  • Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

  • Chainsaw Massacre all over again! That'll teach'm to be dropouts!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

  • Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

  • Did I read that right?

Oxymorons

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand On the watch Called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled In the dictionary, How would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, Where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" Mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" When we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" When they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" When it really is "after light"?

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" Make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a "wise man" and A "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" Mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" Not spelled The way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, Why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage, Where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, Why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed And have dyslexia, Can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular And panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder On the buttons of a remote control When you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags And garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated Is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn't glue Stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set When you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year Do you sit in front of a dead tree And eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway And park on a driveway?

Just for a Laugh Series - 2011

Posted by R.P. BenDedek
Email:
rpbendedek@hotmail.com


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