Where do pets come from?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to the question: "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them.

And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't care less one way or the other.

Testamental Humor
http://www.haruth.com/jhumor36.html

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

What was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson. He brought the house down.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible? David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Which Bible character had no parents? Joshua, son of Nun.

http://www.haruth.com/Jhumor22.html

Repentence:

A priest and a rabbi are discussing the pros and cons of their various religions, and inevitably the discussion turns to repentance.

The rabbi explains Yom Kippur, the solemn Day of Atonement, a day of fasting and penitence, while the priest tells him all about Lent, and its 40 days of self-denial and absolution from sins.

After the discussion ends, the rabbi goes home to tell his wife about the conversation, and they discuss the merits of Lent versus Yom Kippur.

She turns her head and laughs.

The rabbi says, "What's so funny, dear?"

Her response, "40 days of Lent - one day of Yom Kippur...so, even when it comes to sin, the goyyim pay retail....."

http://www.awordinyoureye.com/jokes60thset.html

Five pearls of Wisdom to Remember

1. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle

2. Forgive your enemies, but remember their names

3. Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you when he is in trouble again

4. Many people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them

5. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but neither does milk...

Posted by R.P. Bendedek

 www kingscalendar com

Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com

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