Entertainment
Just for a Laugh
By Unknown Original Authors
Jan 4, 2010 - 12:18:01 AM

Queensland Government at work.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Queensland Parliament Buildings. One is from  Ipswich, another from Logan and the third is from Kenmore.

All three go with a Parliament official to examine the fence.

The Ipswich contractor takes out a tape measure, does some measuring then writes down some figures. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900, $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Logan contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700, $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Kenmore contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Parliament official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Kenmore contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Logan to fix the fence..."

"Done!" replied the government official.

And that, my friends, is politics Queensland style !

Bailout for Dummies

We have all heard of the US bailout of the crooked banks. And here is how the bailout works...something akin to Bailout for Dummies:

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made $998.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck now leads the US bank bailout team.

Outsourcing

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this job.'

Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'

The manager said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green .'

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, 'Mister manager, I am ready.'

The manager said, 'Go ahead.'

Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, Yellow, this is Mujibar.'

Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him. I know I have.

All jokes received in emails from unknown original authors and posted by R.P.BenDedek Email: rpbendedek@hotmail.com

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