After publishing an article the other day entitled The Idiots at Microsoft I received an email recounting stories of Idiots in Australia. Just a coincidence? Anyway they are good so enjoy. - R.P. Bendedek
Australian Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING 1:
I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don't do that kind of thing.' The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's in Shepperton Vic.
IDIOT SIGHTING 2:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since.
.....Happened in Bankstown NSW.
IDIOT SIGHTING 3:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local council to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
......Story from Bauple Qld
IDIOT SIGHTING 4:
My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
....From Castle Hill, Sydney .....
IDIOT SIGHTING 5:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
.....This happened at Melbourne Airport
IDIOT SIGHTING 6:
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
.....She is a government employee in the Adelaide P.O. SA
IDIOT SIGHTING 7:
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
.....Holden Dealership Townsville Qld
Digging Yourself Out
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced magic because of the many strange occurrences That took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the funeral.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as If there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he May indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife put down her drink and said,
"Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. And I know he won't ask for directions."
I received this in an email and beside the photo was a red button and the caption read:
You just never know what might happen next time you go out
Press the red button and find out........
|PUSH THE RED BUTTON to add a bit of drama|
So go on then HIT THE RED BUTTON LINK
You will have a good laugh.
POD and Just for a Laugh Series - 2011
Photos of the Week 2012
Posted by R.P. BenDedek
- Jokes are received from readers via Email and usually do not have an acknowledgement of the original source.