As New Year's resolutions are made, a common wish for singles looking for the perfect match is to find the "ideal" man or woman who could enhance their love life.
A survey of dating agencies revealed this trend: single men or women tend to go from date to date and yet unable to settle down on one person. Their most common problem is, "I have not found the right one."
Amy C, a special education teacher, has been a regular attendee of singles events. She attested to this phenomenon, "I tried to be as honest as I could to the guys I met up with -- who I really am. But it seemed the guys I met were more interested in themselves. They might show some interest to connect but that future date never happened. They are constantly looking and not committing."
US bestselling author and relationship master Hellen Chen has been approached by singles wanting her matchmaking help with their lists of "criteria" the future partner must fulfilled.
"They would like someone to 'wow' them -- sweep them off their feet so to speak. But sadly, they have never thought about what would happen after they get married." Chen said. "They forget that a person is not a piece of real estate where you look at how nice it is, and how much it is worth. A person can change, can argue and can have upsets."
In October, Chen released her new book "Hellen Chen's Love Seminar," following the success of her previous #1 bestselling marriage book "the Matchmaker of the Century."
In a chapter "Do you want a good husband or a playboy?" Chen wrote, "Those people who put looks as the top criterion in their search for a marriage partner often have a serious misconception about marriage."
Chen explained, "Singles who insist on that perfect person unfortunately often end up in regrets. Their marriage becomes miserable. This is like not knowing how to drive and yet one insists on driving the best car. First, you are going nowhere and second, an accident is what will ensue."
Chen has been holding love workshops in Los Angeles and in Asia to train singles on how to select their match and how to maintain a lasting marriage.
"I am not advocating not dressing up or looking presentable or having success in one's career. But having a pretty face or lots of money has nothing to do with the ability to keep up a marriage." Chen continued, "Do you want a good husband or a playboy? The things you place emphasis on in a relationship will make a big difference."
Thomas C, a successful sales professional, met the unorthodox matchmaker Chen, after 10 years spent in the dating game.
Together with Chen, he sat himself down to sort out what he was looking for.
"I found out that the criteria I were so concerned about had nothing to do with whether my marriage would last. Sad to say, I have wasted 10 years floundering around, never mind my bitterness on the failures." said Thomas.
He got married shortly after he met Chen and is now a happy father of two.
Chen's marriage principles have been featured on over 200 media publications in 18 countries. She will be invited to Singapore and also to Taiwan to deliver love seminars, in addition to her next Los Angeles event on March 8.
|Relationship master Hellen Chen signing in at a wedding reception of a couple she has helped match-made.|