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Last Updated: Jun 14, 2015 - 1:27:16 AM 

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Down the Road

One of two phones that didn't work, but now do -- we hope.
By Milt Gross
Jun 14, 2015 - 1:27:10 AM

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We used to swear by our cable company.

Recently we swore at our cable company.

Now we're waiting to be sure that what was fixed was fixed, so we don't need to swear.

The problem began with our moving to an apartment, sadly leaving the grass mowing at our house to whoever volunteers for that chore. Happily, it won't be me.

I spent two and a-half hours on the phone at the cable company's somewhere-in-the-South headquarters, trying to get what was broke fixed. That was yesterday. Today it got fixed. Turned out that one of the "boxes" chuck full of electronic signals and circuits was worn out.

One of two phones that didn't work, but now do -- we hope. Milt Gross photo.

The phone conversation, went roughly (roughly because now that I'm 29.5 and retired my memory ain't quite what it used to be) like this:

With representative number one, I explained that the phone, which is part of our service, was not working.

It was either that rep or a later one -- one of six or seven -- who told me I should phone a certain number to get it fixed.

"How can I phone, when the broken phone that doesn't phone is why I'm calling?"

The answer was either no answer, silence, or "duh," or something else.

Another rep told me they didn't have "phone" on our account. To which I replied that it's been on our account for at least two years and it is on the chores to be done our "moving work order" described.

The answer was either no answer, silence, or "duh," or something else.

Another rep told me that, according to their office gadgetry, our phone was working fine.

I responded with a really stupid question, "Why isn't the phone working?"

The answer was either no answer, silence, or "duh," or something else.

The next to final rep told me he couldn't do anything about it.

I asked him, "Since we're paying for your service, and it doesn't work, what do we do?"

He explained that he couldn't do anything about it....something about his limited job description or he was hungry and going to lunch.

The final rep got on the line, and I said, "All we need is for a service person to come here and fix the phone."

Her answers was either no answer, or "that's easy." I think it was no answer.

But I had to wait while she arranged for a service man to show up. This after two and a-half hours.

Which was the thing I asked for when I first called, two and a-half hours earlier.

The final rep had to schedule the repair man, which meant doing away with the schedule repair stop the very first rep had set up for us.

Good news. A repair guy showed up today, declared one of the "boxes" the company had provided us with two years ago was not working. He replaced the box, typed a few strokes onto his portable keyboard, tried the phone and found that it worked.

So, if you want to call us, go ahead. Of course, I got so tired with all this helpful repair conversation that I've forgotten the number. It's either a digit one through ten...yup, that's it, plus some other digits one through ten.

And you should reach us easily.

Unless the phone doesn't work.

Milt Gross can be reached for corrections, harassment, or other purposes at

Milton M. Gross Copyright 2014

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