Doug Wrenn
Doug Wrenn
Oil, Oil, Everywhere, And Not A Drop To Burn!
On a local radio program, two newsmen were recently discussing the current energy debacle. One cited sources claiming oil to go up to over $200 per barrel and the price at the pump to rise to ten bucks a gallon within a time frame of only 2-3 years. His partner regaled how a friend of his does routing for oil tankers at sea. The newsman said he asked his friend, sarcastically, I take it, how much oil was idly floating out there on the ocean in those tankers. His friend replied so many that it is difficult for him to find space for them all. He referred to the scene as a parking lot. Any bells ringing in your heads yet, folks?
May 13, 2008 - 10:26:05 AM
Doug Wrenn
"Cafeteria" Catholics Still Consuming Forbidden Fruit From The Treacherous Political Tree
Bill Donahue, President of the Catholic League, has called on Democrat presidential candidate Barack Obama to dissolve his national advisory council, which is comprised in large part of pro-abortion Catholics, an oxymoron by the Church's standard.
May 12, 2008 - 11:28:25 AM
Doug Wrenn
End The Sacrilege At San Giovanni Rotundo, Rebury St. Padre Pio
The Catholic News Service has recently reported that at San Giovanni Rotundo, Italy, the home of the late Capuchin friar and recently sainted Padre Pio, the remains of this holy man have been willfully and disrespectfully disturbed for a pretense of veneration.
May 10, 2008 - 10:02:37 PM
Doug Wrenn
G. W. ("Global World") Bush, President Of Africa?
Astounding! The United States currently has a $9.5 trillion (as John McCain might say, "That's 'trillion,' with a 't!'") debt. We still do not have a national missile defense system. We have a still uncompleted fence on our porous border with Mexico that is more of a speed bump than a barrier. The I-35 westbound bridge collapsed into the Mississippi River in Minnesota recently because of years of neglect, neglect that ultimately took the lives of innocent, decent Americans who's only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Time and space prohibit me from completing this seemingly infinite list of unfulfilled duties of our floundering federal government. Juxtaposed against that apathetic ineptitude, President Bush has an "initiative" that is doling out $15 million to Africa to (supposedly) stop AIDS, and now, another "initiative" to dole out $1.2 billion (with a "b") to Africa to combat malaria.
Apr 30, 2008 - 12:33:01 PM
Doug Wrenn
The Dilemma of Guns In National Parks: Carry One In, Or Be Carried Out?
As per a recent nationally publicized article by Anna Tinsley of the McClatchy Newspapers, Interior Secretary, and former US Senator and Idaho Governor Dirk Kempthorne is taking another look at possibly seeking to change a current and long standing law banning the carrying of firearms in National Parks. And as usual, no good deed goes unpunished. The usual suspects of naive liberal bubble dwellers, gun grabbers, the predominantly leftist members of the 4th estate, and even various officials from within the National Park Service are already opposing the idea. And of course, they're all right, and our savvy forefathers who articulated our God-given right to protect ourselves in the 2nd Amendment of our Constitution were all wrong. After all, when in trouble, just climb a Sequoia and dial 911, right?
Apr 29, 2008 - 1:09:06 PM
Doug Wrenn
The 2008 Olympics - Not Beijing Time For Bonzo
I recently took a long, cold shower, threw back a couple stiff drinks, and even tried pinching myself repeatedly, but all to no avail. Much to my shock, ultimate terror and chagrin, I still actually found myself agreeing with Hillary. (SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP ME!) Still, it occurred to me, President Bush belongs at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing about as much as Hillary's horny hubby belongs in a cigar store, picking out a Valentine's Day gift for the interning White House bimbo du'jour.
Apr 13, 2008 - 12:05:17 AM
Doug Wrenn
Obama Sings, "If Agreeing With You Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Wright"
Bull Connor is alive and well. Maybe leopards can't change their spots, but this bigot has changed his color. He has since retired his fire hose and attack dog, relocated to Chicago, changed duds from a police uniform to clergical vestments, and now wields a microphone and a cross instead of a gun and a nightstick to spread his vitriol. Oh yeah, and his protege wants to be our next President. Martin Luther King once had a dream, but these two birds have turned it into a nightmare.
Mar 23, 2008 - 9:48:03 PM
Doug Wrenn
The Sins Of Spitzer, The Spin Of The Pundits, The Death Of Shame, And The Fall Of Man
Disgraced New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's resignation speech almost sounded like a speech once given by a similarly egotistical General Douglas MacArthur. The only component missing from this insipid, sanctimonious polemic of pontification was the promise, "I shall return," although a seemingly narcissistic and still remorseless Spitzer certainly seems to have left that door open, at least in his mind, where he is still a great legend and not a pathetic fallen fool, blindly drowning in his own entrenched false pride. Obviously, he just doesn't get it. Many observers of this recent scandal seem to be a little confused, too.
Mar 21, 2008 - 10:28:27 AM
Doug Wrenn
Catholic Church to American Courts: "Thank You, Sir. May I Have Another?"
One of many classic scenes in the movie, "Animal House" involves a then new and relatively unknown actor named Kevin Bacon, clad only in his undershorts and bent over in a line of other young men similarly dressed and situated during a college fraternity initiation. As the large ogre in the black hood stands over Kevin Bacon, he continually and violently paddles Bacon's backside with a ping-pong paddle. Wincing, Bacon continually repeats, "Thank you, Sir. May I have another?" as his senior hooded fraternity brother further obliges the pain-enduring pledge with a menacing grin.
Mar 20, 2008 - 11:44:28 AM
Doug Wrenn
COTUS Interrupts Us
Leave it to analogy-obsessed, quirky me to find a common thread connecting spying and baseball. And only in America, would The Congress Of The United States (COTUS) provide all the necessary ingredients for that bizarre recipe.
Mar 13, 2008 - 2:31:07 PM
Doug Wrenn
Anti-Gun Cops in Seymour Should Be Seen More And Heard Less
Being a movie buff, and particularly one of westerns, I often seem to see prophetic irony.
Mar 10, 2008 - 11:16:01 PM
Doug Wrenn
Closed Theaters, Empty Beaches, Congested Traffic, And Sedentary Kids: Signs Of Our New, Obnoxious, And Isolated Era
As I am composing this piece, two Connecticut landmarks are now breathing their last 24 hours worth of declining economic prosperity.
Mar 4, 2008 - 11:30:22 AM
Doug Wrenn
And If We Do Learn To Speak Chinese, Who Will Listen?
In his column, "Good Reasons To Learn Chinese," in the January 27th edition of The Sunday Republican, Chris Lin extols the erroneously perceived virtues of communist China, while also partaking in the trendy pastime of taking a few sucker shots at the United States
Jan 28, 2008 - 10:09:44 AM
Doug Wrenn
The "Conventional Wisdom" Of Presidential Prospects versus Foreign Foes: Are Senators Too Sedate? Can Governors Really Govern?
Note to self: Some day, make a point of attending the "convention" which generates "conventional wisdom"!
Jan 7, 2008 - 8:51:11 PM
Doug Wrenn
The Empress Is Wearing No Credibility
Not even a queen, be she presumed, or coronated, can have her regal cake and eat it, too.
Jan 6, 2008 - 11:38:47 PM
Doug Wrenn
It's Now Official: Government Is A Big, Green Nanny
Yes, I am dreaming of a "white Christmas." It's not that far of a stretch. In my neck of the woods, it seems like it hasn't stopped snowing (including right now) since I woke up from my blissful Thanksgiving nap to find the football games already concluded and my turkey dinner nearly digested.
Dec 23, 2007 - 5:12:16 PM
Doug Wrenn
Balance This...
"Our bathroom scale is accurate," my better half announced as she exited the bathroom this morning. "Oh...good (NOT!)," I replied. "How do you know that?" I inquired (for reasons unbeknownst to me). "Because it reads the same weight as the digital scale in my doctor's office," she responded. At this point I felt like coming back with a surly retort like she obviously didn't lose any weight this week, or inquiring what makes her think that her doctor's scale is so special, just because it's digital, but the Christmas spirit, and the goal of maintaining marital bliss soon got the better of me.
Dec 16, 2007 - 7:44:27 AM
Doug Wrenn
Proposed Bill Of Keystone State Legislator Says To His Constituents: "You Have An Idiot In Pennsylvania!"
Something smells rotten in Harrisburg, a city I have often visited, and I don't think it's the Susquehanna River. Pennsylvania State Representative Tim Solobay, (D-Washington County) believes that not enough Keystoners recognize their own state (actually, commonwealth) flag, so he has proposed legislation to modify the flag to give the citizenry a helpful hint.
Nov 24, 2007 - 10:16:15 PM
Doug Wrenn
Obama Unfit To Be Commander In Chief
Several weeks back, there was quite a news flurry because for reasons yet to be understood by me, the subject was raised that Senator Barack Obama was not wearing the traditional American flag lapel pin that became trendy after September 11th. Obama stated that he stopped wearing the pin because he feels too many people use that pin as a substitute for patriotism.
Nov 21, 2007 - 9:45:08 PM
Doug Wrenn
No Recess, No Vacation
In an attempt to thwart President Bush from potentially making any recess appointments, Democrat Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is manipulating a "pro forma" constitutional strategy by not closing the Senate for more than three consecutive days until it officially reopens on December 3rd.
Nov 21, 2007 - 9:09:51 PM
Doug Wrenn
A Historical Reminder Of The True Meaning Of Thanksgiving, Lest We Ever Forget...
Amidst all the various pleasant traditional holiday distractions of turkey and stuffing, football rivalries, and travel, the joy of visits from family, relatives, neighbors and friends, or the deep but unanswered yearning of their presence, it is entirely worthy to take note of the real meaning of Thanksgiving, as so penned over 200 years ago by our nation's original "George Dubya," in a time in which such direct yet poignant truths were not only much easier to write, but also were more welcomed to be received.
Nov 19, 2007 - 12:38:20 AM
Doug Wrenn
From Polarization To Prostitution: How A Campaign Season Can Suddenly Transform Politics And Religion Into Strange Bedfellows
During a meeting about an unrelated matter, my pastor and I digressed into a sidebar discussion about the impact of the September 11th attacks on matters of faith. I commented that shortly after our national tragedy occurred, churches enjoyed a sudden, albeit short-lived surge in attendance on Sunday mornings. "That is not faith," my pastor replied, as he shook his head, lowered his eyes, gritted his teeth and pursed his lips in conspicuous chagrin, adding, "Only coming to church when you're scared, that's not true faith."
Nov 11, 2007 - 12:07:42 AM
Doug Wrenn
Parental Report Cards Idea Deserves An "F"
I recall an episode of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" in which adventurers plunged into the deep jungles of Africa with combat tanks to seek out and destroy a particular deadly insect.
Oct 30, 2007 - 6:35:12 AM
Doug Wrenn
Finding Father Angelo
So, on and off for the past several years, I have been kind of haphazardly looking for Father Angelo. I've done this before. I'm getting good at it.
Oct 28, 2007 - 9:54:58 AM
Doug Wrenn
Condoms (And More) For Kids - In Maine, The Source Of Blame Is Painfully Plain
A controversial new plan now being considered in Portland, Maine may allow school officials to administer various forms of contraception to middle school children as young as 11 years old.
Oct 27, 2007 - 9:46:18 PM
Doug Wrenn
Michelle Obama, First Lady Material or No
Michelle Obama Desperately Seeking To Be "First," But Certainly No "Lady" She's at it again. Where is that long cane when you need it, that one used from behind the curtain to snag and yank really bad acts off the stage?
Sep 12, 2007 - 8:23:20 PM
Doug Wrenn
Lack Of Modesty Was The Real Gaffe
Many people might not recognize the name, Lauren Caitlin Upton, but after this week, many now know the third runner up from South Carolina in this year's Miss Teen USA Beauty Pageant, and she is Lauren Caitlin Upton. Sadly, Miss Upton is now national news because of several conspicuous and embarrassing gaffes she made while trying to answer a question of why 1/5 of Americans cannot locate the US on a map.
Sep 3, 2007 - 6:50:53 PM
Doug Wrenn
Bush To Oberstar: Take A Hike, But Not In The Gas Tax!
Kudos to President Bush for quickly and decisively shutting down the spendthrift Congressional Democrats for callously manipulating a needless national calamity and trying to build political capital from it.
Aug 26, 2007 - 6:28:16 PM
Doug Wrenn
The 2008 Political Prophesies Of "Newt-strodamus"
Former House Speaker and also rumored but yet unannounced presidential wannabe, Newt Gingrich predicted that the Democrats will nominate a Clinton/Obama ticket for 2008 and that the Republicans will have a "formidable" nominee from either Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson or Mitt Romney. How accurate is this "quatrain" of the political prophet, "Newt-strodamus"?
Jul 31, 2007 - 10:57:12 AM
Doug Wrenn
Vote Not To Vote, But Be Sure To Vote
Bravo to Mr. William H. White of East Dennis, Massachusetts. Mr. White is a true patriot, who has stepped up to the plate to address a grievance of which many if not most of us from both sides of the partisan aisle in our country today are exasperated: lack of political leadership.
Jul 25, 2007 - 10:27:18 AM
Doug Wrenn
Vitriol For Vitter: Hypocrite Or Human?
Article 1- Us- Lie, deny, cover up and defiantly wag your finger at the TV camera until caught, rally troops in Rose Garden for photo-op, speak redundantly of forgiveness, bear all on Larry King, then move on and run for re-election. Keep stressing that this entire issue is very "complex." Lastly, don't worry. Your resume and legacy has just improved with our open-minded, "if it feels good do it," " challenge authority," non-judgmental base! Congratulations!
Jul 23, 2007 - 1:18:32 PM
Doug Wrenn
Taking On The Taboo Of Socialized Healthcare
It's actually a nice break to have Rush Limbaugh take a day off from his radio show once in a while. His guest hosts are often more interesting, on topic and provocative than he is. They tend to be more focused on the real issues, engage in less of the tedious and shallow "he said/she said" mantra ad nauseum, and there is no incessant bluster about cigars, golf, I-Phones, and name-dropping pomposity about weekend hob-nobbing with societal big shots. While I seldom disagree with Rush on the substantial issues when he actually gets to them, quite honestly, his monologues are often like finally finding the toy buried at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box, too little reward for so much digging.
Jul 13, 2007 - 9:14:26 PM
Doug Wrenn
I'm Starting To Feel Old, Confused And "Teched Off"
They say you know you're old when the cops and doctors are younger than you. I think I'm just about there. Some of these cops look like they're not yet old enough to drive a cruiser, let alone carry a loaded sidearm, and my doctor resembles a Middle Eastern version of "Doogie Houser, M.D." Oh, yeah, and I also now tend to need to see "little Doogie" more often.
Jul 9, 2007 - 2:53:33 PM
Doug Wrenn
Now, 200 + Years Later, Please "Pardon" The Mess, Al
"Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means you are to forget inconvenient duties and forgive yourself for forgetting. In time, by rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy." -- Mark Twain
Jul 5, 2007 - 11:00:20 AM
Doug Wrenn
Happy Independence Day, Fellow American Patriots. We Earned It!
"Vigilance is the eternal price of liberty." -- Thomas Jefferson
Jul 2, 2007 - 10:43:25 AM
Doug Wrenn
If Abortion Is "Choice," Why Do They Cover Up And Lie?
How many times have we all heard the euphemism "choice" used in mentioning abortion? "It's a woman's choice." "It's a woman's right to chose," etc. OK, just this once, I'll play along and call it "choice" instead of abortion. If "choice" is so innocuous and wholesome, why do its proponents and enablers so often lie and cover-up the truth?
Jun 19, 2007 - 7:07:12 PM
Doug Wrenn
Green Mountain Grumblings, Moonbats Over Montpelier, And The Secession Of The Socialists
In the 1980's, Ken Burns gave us, "The Civil War," a now famous nine volume documentary, which very graphically yet poignantly told the story of our most catastrophic and divisive national tragedy bearing the same title. Some disenchanted and very radical liberals in our nation's bucolic and otherwise serene northeast corner would now like to create the sequel to that unforgotten and turbulent historic event.
Jun 18, 2007 - 8:32:02 AM
Doug Wrenn
On This Memorial Day, We Honor 3400 + (And Still Counting) Buried "Bumper Stickers"
Senator "Pretty Boy" John Edwards, the Democrat Dandy, seeking to be our nation's next leader, is probably in some spa for rich, pretty boys right now, enjoying a mud bath, a manicure, a pedicure and sipping a glass of carrot juice with a celery stick in it. The closest thing to heat he'll find this Memorial Day weekend is a sauna or a hot tub. Meanwhile, some poor, young grunt in Iraq or Afghanistan is miles away from his loved ones on this holiday, doing his job, and probably for long hours and on little sleep, while eating rations, inhaling dirt and feeling real heat that most of us couldn't even imagine.
May 29, 2007 - 1:24:39 PM
Doug Wrenn
(D)Amnesty!
"Just when I'm finally out, they pull me back in!" exclaimed an exasperated Michael Corleone, played by Al Pacino in "Godfather III." The Mafia don, weighted down by his sins of the past, finally sought to run a legitimate business empire, but was dragged back in to the real "family" biz by an errant nephew and some shady dealings involving the Catholic Church. Right about now, I know how he must have felt.
May 27, 2007 - 7:54:35 PM
Doug Wrenn
"Comprehensive"? Throw Out The Illegals And Vote Out The Incompetents! Now, That’s "Comprehensive"!
To paraphrase the famous line from the movie, "Network," I already have been "mad as Hell" and I already stopped "taking it" long ago. But I feel like I do when I kick a tire on my car because the battery is dead. I feel better, but I'm still not going anywhere. Sometimes I feel like a man standing on a beach, yelling at the ocean. I can hear my words loudly, but the powerful waves continue to break ashore. I know I'm not really alone.
May 21, 2007 - 10:38:52 AM
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