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Brian Evankovich

What To Eat Before Your Execution
By Brian Evankovich
May 18, 2004 - 11:59:00 PM

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I was out with some friends the other night at a small grill and bar, and somehow the conversation centered on what our last meals would be if we were being executed the next day. Such happy family discussions, I think, are seriously lacking in todayís society, so I was happy to contribute.

It's tough thinking about your last meal before a lethal injection, because there have been so many good ones.

Would I ask for pizza with extra pepperoni and a six pack of Coke? That's been a staple of mine for ages. The best pizza doesn't come from any particular restaurant, but from the store: Freschetta. You gotta cook it yourself, but for less than $10 you can't do any better, and I'd probably ask for two prior to meeting the hangman.

Then there's steak and potatoes, or chicken and potatoes, or spaghetti with extra-rich meat sauce, like Grandma used to make. Throw in some hot French bread and you're in business.

Hamburgers. I don't know about you, but I can never have enough of those. They used to call me the Burger King before there even was a Burger King (at least in our neighborhood). Fuddruckers makes the best, and you can pile on as many fixings as you want. For fast-food, I think In-N-Out is the best, and not just because the people there actually seem happy to see you, while at Wendy's and the other joints they treat you like you have the plague or something.

But even after all the thoughts had been contributed, I decided that if I was due for a lethal injection (which some think Iím far overdo for) I would ask for a plate of pork chops from the Macaroni Grill. Iím not much of a chop fan, but I tried theirs once and was blown away. Along with the chops there was an assortment of veggies and potatoes Ė I was sorry when I finished. So thatís what Iíd order. Maybe even two plates.

I told my friends that whatever a person ate before his execution, the goal should be to eat as much as possible in order to leave behind as big a mess as possible after the hangman did his deed.

One of my friends thought I meant messy dishes. I decided not to correct him.

Brian Evankovich lives in California. Contact - he's ready to believe you.

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