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Brian Evankovich

(Mis)adventures in Dating
By Brian Evankovich
Mar 17, 2004 - 5:29:00 PM

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Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Or guilty. Depends on your point of view.

The older I get, the more convinced I am that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Dating, for example. Ever since I can remember, nobody - male or female - knows what the heck they want or who the heck they want or what they'll do when they find the person they want.

Two examples:

My roommate Danny. The last girl he went out with seemed to have a short circuit in her conversational skills. This cute 20-something, whom I had the opportunity to meet when she came by the house, seemed to have all the right stuff in all the right places. But looks can be deceiving. When I asked Danny afterwards how everything went, he said:

"We had the strangest conversation. Whenever she would ask me if I liked something, she'd disagree with my response. If she asked me, 'Do you like Jim Carrey,' and I said, 'Yes,' she would say, 'I don't like him at all.'"

After a few hours of this on several topics, Danny added, he'd had enough. Accidentally lost her phone number - possibly down the gutter. What could have motivated that lady to take that approach to conversation is beyond me.

A gal I work with named Suzi had a similar experience, this one involving men. Two guys, on separate occasions, spent quite a bit of time with her, and everything seemed great. Then she discovers, each time through mutual friends, that the gentlemen in question already have girlfriends.

She said: "What's up with that? Why spend time with me and behave the way they did when they're already going with somebody else?"

Youd think Id be able to answer that one; I had none to give.

After all the bad apples people experience while dating, youd think wed throw in the towel and get out of the game. But pairing up is something so deeply rooted in our society (and desirable) that somebody choosing to stay single is rare indeed.

Some say they can't wait to get married, put all the dating garbage behind them. But with a 60% divorce rate, the odds aren't very good. A professional gambler wouldn't touch those odds. So the game really never stops. It just gets harder to play, and the rules are never quite clear.

Now I know what you're thinking. You want to know about my recent dating experiences. At this point I wish to exercise my Constitutional protections under the Fifth Amendment. For you science majors out there, that means I ain't talking.

So what's the point of this? I have no idea. It's just something I've observed over 12 years of running in this particular part of the social jungle.

And an answer really isn't necessary. If men ever figure out women and vice versa, the game won't be fun anymore.

And it is fun. That's why we keep playing.

Brian Evankovich lives in California where he straddles the fence wearing many hats while making a commitment at

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