Brian Evankovich
Brian Evankovich
Still Missed After All These Years
It still feels like yesterday.
Jul 13, 2005 - 9:24:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Watergate Reflections and Other Stories
SO I APPROACHED my nattily-attired editor the other day and said: "I can't get enough of Deep Throat, boss. That’s gonna be the next column."
Jun 12, 2005 - 12:13:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
The Top Five Things Never to Do at a Wedding
Weddings make my hair stand up and my skin itch.
Apr 4, 2005 - 1:42:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Don't Know Much About Marriage
A new fad is sweeping college campuses and for once it has nothing to do with sex or beer.
Mar 5, 2005 - 12:58:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Songs in the Key of Freedom
John Kerry had nothing to do with it.
Feb 6, 2005 - 7:18:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
The Hidden Terror of Christmas; or, Granny Go Home
I'd like to take a .44 Magnum to the little drummer boy and pa-rump-a-bump-bump him full of lead.
Dec 16, 2004 - 3:59:00 PM
Brian Evankovich
The United Automatons of America
My father has taught me a lot, but the biggest lesson of all has been to never
tell a woman she's fat.
Nov 29, 2004 - 2:22:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Superman is Dead
It's close to 2 a.m. Monday morning as I type this, and about this time last week I had to pick my jaw up from the floor after reading the initial unconfirmed reports that Christopher Reeve had died.
Oct 19, 2004 - 1:13:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
California Dreamin' and the Joy of Digital Cable
The City of San Francisco, in beautiful California, is one of the few cities in these United States where you can walk the streets without any clothes on and not get arrested.
Sep 28, 2004 - 4:54:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Becoming Our Parents and Other Hazards of Growing Up
Normally I like to leave a party after no more than two hours, because that's
about as long as I can go without making a dork out of myself or breaking
something.
Aug 12, 2004 - 2:52:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
The Sinister Activity of My Neighbor
I am paranoid about spending time in my bedroom, leaving the house, or doing
anything that might make me visible to the people who are watching me.
Jul 19, 2004 - 7:11:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm......
Have you seen some of the recent strange-but-true news items that have made your favorite outlet in recent weeks?
Jun 17, 2004 - 1:30:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Ronald Reagan Memories; or, Good-Bye to the Gipper
There isn't anything I can say about President Ronald Reagan that hasn't already been said, but I would like to share a few stories of how Mr. Reagan touched my life.
Jun 10, 2004 - 1:08:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Truth or Consequences in These United States; or, A New Excuse to Sue
Last week's column on why some people believe the government failed to prevent the Sept. 11th attacks generated a lot of response that is worth a few comments.
Jun 2, 2004 - 2:25:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out: The Perils of Modern Enlightenment
While out with the guys last night somebody happened to bring up Sept. 11th and, and the individual opined that the CIA and President Bush knew what was going to happen and when and how, yet let thousands of people die anyway because it suited Bush's political purpose. My jaw hit the floor.
May 28, 2004 - 4:55:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
What To Eat Before Your Execution
I was out with some friends the other night at a small grill and bar, and somehow the conversation centered on what our last meals would be if we were being executed the next day.
May 18, 2004 - 11:59:00 PM
Brian Evankovich
I Want My Al TV, or: Eat My Advertising
It wasn't enough for Al Gore to invent the Internet. Now he has to have his own television cable network.
May 5, 2004 - 1:03:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Killers On Our Streets
There's a new killer in town and some drastic measures are needed to put him down. This killer sits in your garage.
Apr 21, 2004 - 2:21:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Hollywood and War, Then And Now
What kind of attitude have we seen from Hollywood toward the war?
Apr 13, 2004 - 11:53:00 PM
Brian Evankovich
Random Chunks of Muddle
I have super hearing. Really, I do. Puts Superman to shame (though I'm jealous of his x-ray vision - and his ability to fly).
Apr 7, 2004 - 2:34:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
My Big Fat Monkey Wedding; or, Better Living Through Technology
So my friend Bob said to me last week: "I'm best man in a wedding that has a monkey in it and I have to wear a dress."
Mar 31, 2004 - 1:26:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
(Mis)adventures in Dating
Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Or guilty. Depends on your point of view.
Mar 17, 2004 - 5:29:00 PM
Brian Evankovich
More Silly Politics in California
They're letting the inmates run the asylum again.
Mar 10, 2004 - 3:20:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
No Dirty Jokes Allowed
You remember the Janet Jackson incident during the Superbowl, right? If I have to refresh your memory, you've been living under a rock.
Mar 3, 2004 - 12:24:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Did You Hear the One About September 11th, 2001?
The events of September 11th, 2001 - tragically, after only two years - have become a joke.
Feb 25, 2004 - 1:17:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Evil Vending Machines; or, What's Next for Barbie
Never get between a girl and her Cheetoes.
Feb 18, 2004 - 2:54:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Annoying Neighbors, or: How George W. Bush Can Beat John Kerry
Some people deserve to be shot, and one of my neighbors is at the top of the list.
Feb 11, 2004 - 1:14:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Janet Jackson and the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
The only reason people are making a big deal about Janet Jackson exposing herself during the Superbowl is because she's black.
Feb 3, 2004 - 11:54:00 PM
Brian Evankovich
Virginity For Sale; or, How I May Chuck Everything and Become a Bum
Over the weekend I read a story about a girl selling her virginity on the Internet.
Jan 28, 2004 - 1:41:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Stories from the Social Trenches
I was out with some friends the other night at a small grill and bar, and somehow the conversation centered on what our last meals would be if we were being executed the next day.
Jan 21, 2004 - 12:58:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
America's New Lower Class
Maybe you've heard how President Bush has a hot new idea of letting illegal immigrants get a head start in these United States, creating what amounts to amnesty for people who are breaking the law.
Jan 15, 2004 - 3:25:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Skip a Commercial, Go to Jail
Seen any good commercials lately?
Jan 7, 2004 - 1:07:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Pets, Too Many Books, and Other Tales
I trust you survived Christmas; while I get less and less loot as I get closer to 30 (not necessarily a bad thing) I still had a good time and hope you did as well. I know a trio of animals who certainly had a good time - my mother's cats, and a friend's dog.
Dec 31, 2003 - 1:16:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Explaining the Simple with the Impossible
The other day the boss came to me and declared: "The world is going crazy."
Dec 9, 2003 - 12:20:00 PM
Brian Evankovich
Why TV Ratings Are Way, Way Down, and a Sad High School Reunion
Recently I read an article about low TV ratings this season - apparently they're lower than ever and the major networks and advertisers are in a state of complete terror. All they can do is scratch their heads and say, "How can this be? We've spent a ton of money on new shows and the required hype to throw them in the face of a public that can probably be entertained by shiny objects, what is going on here?"
Nov 23, 2003 - 6:06:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Bill Clinton's New Job, an SOS for Fido, and More Reality TV
You'll never look at the family pet the same way again.
Nov 16, 2003 - 5:55:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
America's Cold War Secret Weapon, Private Jessica Lynch, and Why I Don't Trust the Media
Jimi Hendrix won the Cold War.
Nov 12, 2003 - 12:26:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Living in a Crowded World
There are too many people in this country and most of them are annoying.
Nov 3, 2003 - 8:24:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
The Horror of What Might Have Been
Remembering the 80s, and New Coke.
Oct 26, 2003 - 7:53:00 AM
Brian Evankovich
Lying Opens New Doors
I had a perfectly good time telling the best lie at a party the other night and I wanted to share the experience.
Oct 21, 2003 - 7:02:00 AM
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